A Quiet Simple Life | Sallie Borrink

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:23

A Quiet Simple Life

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Relaxed Homeschooling

Relaxed Homeschooling is a thoughtful Christian approach to homeschooling that is flexible, customized, academically responsible, and rooted in strong family relationships.

It is the sweet spot between unschooling, rigid classical education, and overly idealized Charlotte Mason — a family-centered, parent-guided approach to education.

Discipling Children in Christ Outside the Box


Last year I wrote a series of posts called Raising Gifted Children in the Christian Faith (first post here and all posts here). If you haven’t read that series, I encourage you to read it first because this post about discipling children will make much more sense in that context.

Discipling Children In Christ

In this post, I’m talking about the Christian faith outside the box. I recognize that this post is going to make some Christians reading it uncomfortable. I understand that. But I also believe this post is going to be incredibly freeing for some Christian parents, especially some of those with gifted or 2e children.

Also please know that this post wasn’t written on a whim or off the cuff. It’s the results of years of wrestling with these issues.

Full Of Faith But No Church

My faith in Christ is central to my life, brings joy and meaning to my life, and drives the choices I make. God has done amazing things in my life. I find the Bible an incredible book full of riches for those who are willing to come to it in faith and do the work of studying and mining out those truths.

But as I wrote in my previous series, we have struggled as a family to find a way to make church work for us. And by church I mean showing up at a building on Sunday. Even if we are not in a church building each week, I am confident in our place in the body of Christ, the Church. (There are other issues that have impacted our struggle to attend such as my health issues.) But really since Caroline’s birth, church attendance has not worked for us except in a few scattered periods.

The lack of church attendance in our lives has been troubling for me on a number of levels. It troubles me because we don’t have a community of believers to participate with on a regular basis. It troubles me as a parent wanting to raise my child in Christian community. In fact, I would say that the “need” to raise Caroline “in a church” has been the last big issue I’ve dealt with on this journey.

The question I have asked myself over and over again is this: Can it truly be God’s best will for us as a family and for her as an individual to raise her outside of a traditional or institutional church?

Many times over the past few years I’ve told God, “God, I want to be in a church if you want us in a church. Just show me where it is. If we’re wrong, show us.” I know the joy and blessing of being where He puts me. I don’t want to miss out on that. I know that I am not responsible for my child’s salvation, but I also don’t want to be a stumbling block to her faith.

But month after month and now year after year there has been nothing to move us in that direction even though we’ve tried on numerous occasions. In fact, I would say it has been just the opposite. We’ve had a growing conviction that God is moving us in a different direction and taking us on a different path than we would have expected.

Walking In God’s Love Outside Church Structures

Last week someone shared a link to the following two videos and it was like it all came together. The speaker even addressed my questions about children in Sunday School and church which I was not expecting at all when I started watching. In these videos, Wayne Jacobsen presents the story of how God drew him out of the institutional church after being a pastor and set him on a different path of walking with God. You will need to listen to both parts to get the full picture.

What was striking to me as I listened is how well this understanding of walking with God dovetails with the two views of homeschooling I have repeatedly found myself gravitating toward for Caroline – Charlotte Mason and Unschooling. Those two views come together in our home in a form of Relaxed Homeschooling. Neither Charlotte Mason nor Unschooling alone fully expresses for me the fullness of how I see God working in the life of my child, but somehow the intersection of the two does.

I appreciate the fact that Jacobsen does not insist that this is the only way to faithfully walk with God. He recognizes that traditional church structures do work for some people (as do I). But as I think of the parents of gifted/2e children who struggle to make church “work” for their family, I see that this is a real and authentic way to disciple our children in Christ.

It also fits so well with families who homeschool outside the box because it is rather like walking with Christ outside the box. It’s real, it’s authentic, and it’s meaningful, but it’s not going to be completely understood by many who are perfectly happy within traditional structures whether they are schools or churches.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on these videos in the comments below and how this might play out in your own family’s faith walk with Christ.

Learning to Live Loved: An Interview with Wayne Jacobsen, Part 1 of 2 from Wayne Jacobsen on Vimeo.

Learning to Live Loved Part 2 of 2 from Wayne Jacobsen on Vimeo.

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Esther Bible Study | GrapeVine Studies


Caroline and I are starting a new Grapevine Studies Bible study. I decided to do Esther with her since I thought the adventurous storyline would appeal to her. Esther is a strong woman and her story provides lots of opportunity for meaningful discussions about culture, faith, obedience and what it means to be a woman used by God.

The Appeal of GrapeVine Studies

GrapeVine Studies appeal to Caroline and me for a few reasons. (See also my previous review of Grapevine’s New Testament overview.) For me, they are easy to prepare and even I can do stick figures! LOL!

Caroline enjoys them because they are creative, don’t require a lot of writing, and are content rich without being overly academic. They feel more like natural learning than an overly academic, school-ish approach to the Bible. This fits much better with her learning style.

How We Use GrapeVine Studies

We find it works best if I draw on the whiteboard and Caroline works in her own three ring binder.

Seriously. I am not an artist at all (as you can see below). But it works well for us.

Esther characters on white board

One thing I’ve struggled with is how much to let Caroline embellish beyond the stick figures. They usually aren’t quite enough for her creative mind. I’ve tried to reach the compromise of letting her add things that are true to the story and will help her remember more. (Isn’t that one of the points of studying the Bible, after all?). But I suggested we probably shouldn’t add fairies and such since they don’t fit the story. Angels when they appear? Yes. Unicorns? No. LOL!

Free Sample Lessons

If you’ve never used GrapeVine Studies before, you can go to their Sample Lessons page where you will find a number of different studies to try, including one from the Esther studies.

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Does Homeschooling Devalue Women?


My post Gifted Children in the Classroom From A Teacher’s Perspective recently sparked a discussion on social media. The topic (described as one of the elephants in the room) is that homeschooling devalues women personally and professionally. Some women agreed with that statement and others disagreed.

I disagreed and realized that I wanted to explore a bit here whether or not homeschooling devalues women.

The Personal And The Professional

Women make a wide variety of choices.

  • There are many women who have no desire for a professional life.
  • There are other women who choose to value their professional life over their personal life.
  • There are some who attempt to juggle both personal and professional equally well.
  • There are yet others who choose to focus on one for a season and then the other for another period of time.

I’m not going to explain why I might personally think one might be right or better than the other and the rest are wrong in this discussion. Rather I’m simply going to acknowledge that women approach these aspects of their lives in a variety of ways.

The question we’re focusing on is whether or not homeschooling in and of itself devalues women. I think it depends on the filter though which you see life.

Professional Status And Income

Homeschooling will clearly devalue women if I view life primarily through the lens of professional status and income. There’s nothing wrong with money and wanting to earn lots of it as long as it isn’t an idol. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to excel professionally as long as it isn’t to the neglect of loved ones and other responsibilities in my life.

But if I believe my value as a woman is based on my earning potential and my ability to compete with men in the marketplace, then I will see choosing to homeschool as devaluing. There is no way homeschooling can compete with professional advancement and income if the primary lens of life values those more highly.

If status and income is my lens and I earn less and achieve less, then homeschooling certainly devalues me.

However, I think it is dangerous to view life through that lens for a number of reasons. Let’s look at a few of them.

Less Of A Role Model?

Some women feel strongly that they want to be a role model to their children regarding the value of women in the marketplace. For women who have worked hard to achieve in college and their profession, this can be incredibly important. Many women make significant sacrifices in order to compete professionally and they derive a great deal of satisfaction from what they have accomplished. Some women work in fields that are very challenging to re-enter if they leave for a number of years.

However, I don’t want a young girl such as my daughter to learn that women are valuable because they go to work and earn a paycheck. I wouldn’t want her to think I was valuable because I had a prestigious job and outranked men. I don’t think girls should learn that women are valuable because they can compete with men and outearn them.

To start with, I want my daughter to know that she’s valuable because of her standing in Christ.

  • Not because she learned her multiplication facts quickly.
  • Not because she scored well on a test.
  • Not because she got her first choice university.
  • Not because she has a college degree.
  • Not because she has a husband.
  • Not because she is a mother.
  • Not because she beat out a man for a promotion.

Her value is in Christ.

I want her to know that women have a value that is not based on performance. I wasn’t a more valuable woman when I was teaching full-time and earning a full-time income. I’m not more valuable because I’m married. I’m not more valuable because I am a mother.

I’m a valuable woman because I am made in the image of God and I bring gifts, skills, insights, and the love of Christ wherever I go.

When The Ability To Compete Is Gone?

I see the importance of this because my chronic illness has changed my personal and professional life in significant ways I could have never anticipated when I was younger. If I believe my value depends on my ability to compete in the marketplace and earn a paycheck, then my value disappears as soon as I am unable do those things. This is the very same trap that many men fall into when they lose their job and, therefore, their perceived identity.

Ironically, I feel the value that I can bring to the world as a woman has increased exponentially since I’ve had to make changes out of necessity. Thanks to the internet, I have the ability to add value to those I come into contact with. I can use my gift of writing to encourage and challenge people around the world. I can use my creative gifts to bless women, homeschoolers, and teachers without ever leaving home.

The beauty is that I can do this while homeschooling my daughter. She is learning that I can bring value to the world even from my corner office on the second floor of our home. I am showing her how God can work through even a less than fantastic physical situation and open opportunities that I might not have had otherwise.

Homeschooling Brings Value

Homeschooling my daughter does not devalue me. It opens up new opportunities for her and me. It opens up new friendships in real life and online. It allows both of us to tap into gifts and abilities that would be lost in traditional school and job settings. Rather than forcing her to submit to the structure of a mass educational model that isn’t equipped to deal with her unique learning needs and skills, I can provide opportunities for her to grow and develop as a unique individual who will eventually become a strong woman.

Homeschooling allows me to mentor and disciple my daughter in meaningful ways. She is learning that her value rests in bringing her God-given gifts and abilities to the world despite whatever circumstances in which she might find herself. She is learning that life doesn’t boil down to a university education and professional advancement. It can be quietly doing your very best from home in a cute little town in Michigan. This is, in my humble opinion, a far more powerful message and example to provide her.

Homeschooling Is Often A Sacrifice

There’s no doubt that homeschooling is a sacrifice for some women. It often entails making very hard choices, including giving up jobs and activities we previously enjoyed. Even before the changes necessitated by my chronic illness, I felt like I had to give up a lot to parent a high-need baby and now homeschool a gifted/2e child. Caroline is currently nine and I am profoundly thankful that her increasing maturity allows me more freedom to pursue my own personal and professional interests. To be sure there were minutes, hours, and even days I honestly mourned what I have given up. But I would do it all again because I know it is what is best for her.

It’s A Matter Of Perspective

I think the answer to the original question is a matter of perspective. If a woman believes that homeschooling devalues her worth as a woman, then it probably will. She will focus on what she has lost and how she no longer has the position and income she had before. If a woman believes that homeschooling is an opportunity or necessity that is worth the trade-off, then she will feel empowered for making a choice that best fits her worldview.

In the end, I believe it probably becomes a bit of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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You Can Do It, Sam | Cozy Book Review


You Can Do It, Sam by Amy Hest and illustrated by Anita Jeram is a story about a bear named Sam who goes on a little neighborly adventure with his mother.

This is the same Sam that is in Don’t You Feel Well, Sam? and Kiss Good Night, both part of Homeschooling with Cozy Books.

You Can Do It, Sam

It’s a wintry morning on Plum Street, and Mrs. Bear and Sam are making cakes to share with their neighbors. Sam waits for the cakes to be done and cool enough to deliver.

When the cakes are ready, Mrs. Bear and Sam load them up into Mrs. Bear’s green truck and take off.

But the biggest surprise is when Mrs. Bear tells Sam to carry the cake all the way up to their neighbor’s house by himself! Through the deep snow! Can Sam do such a big thing alone?

Snow, baking cakes, a green truck, neighbors, and a warm fire at the end. What could be more cozy?

This is a great book to read with little ones who are learning to be brave and do things on their own.

We read this book to Caroline so many times that I can confidently say you should definitely add You Can Do It, Sam (and all the other Same books) to your bookshelf!

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