And it is…
Shopping for maternity clothes.
For me so far, this is hands-down the worst part of being pregnant. Morning sickness will end (I’ve been told), but the third trimester may be one long lounge in my nightgown and bathrobe.
I’ve started looking around the stores and online the past week or so. Can I just say that my reaction ranges from amusement to astonishment to disgust to disbelief?
(If you are a fashionista, you might not want to read this entry. I might offend you and that is not my intention. But if you are a disdainer of pretty much everything trendy and/or slutty, read on.)
First off, for the 99% of my readership that doesn’t know me in real life, I am very much a conservative dresser. I always have been. My mom dressed me well when I was young and I’ve never changed. By conservative I do NOT mean dowdy, shapeless “Christian” wear. I’m talking L.L. Bean type casual and Pendleton/Brooks Brothers type professional and/or church. (I don’t actually shop at Brooks Brothers, but that gives you an idea of what I’m talking about.)
I’m talking tailored clothing, nice fabrics, classic lines. Plaid, pleated skirts and cardigan sweaters. Tailored wool pants and nice sweaters. Feminine dresses for summer. I buy clothes and shoes that last. The few times I’ve purchased something “trendy”, I’ve always regretted it when it was completely out of style the next year. To me it seems like a total waste of money. I buy clothes and wear them year after year after year. I have some nice sweaters that I’ve been wearing for almost ten years. You would never know it because they have worn well and they are classic styling. Even if I am dressed casually, we are talking a nice khaki skirt or pants, nice shirt/t-shirt, and a pretty sweater or blouse.
So imagine how THRILLED I am to discover that the hottest styles in maternity wear for spring and summer are tops with plunging necklines, short shorts, and short skimpy dresses with spaghetti straps?
WHAT ARE THESE PEOPLE THINKING???? (Yes, I am shouting this time!)
Good grief! Why would a pregnant woman want to walk around in short shorts and a neckline that literally is inches from her navel?
And don’t even get me started on the UGLY jeans. Good grief! I wouldn’t have worn those if I was 22 and looked like a model! And now in my late 30’s and pregnant?
The only thing I’ve found so far that I will go back and try on were some khakis at J.C. Penney. I told David I may end up living in khakis, a white t-shirt, and a variety of men’s oversized button-down oxford shirts in different colors and stripe patterns for my last trimester!
I also did find an easy-for-someone-who-knows-how-to-sew Simplicity pattern online that made some basic shorts, tops and a jumper. Since I don’t sew, I may have to throw myself on the mercy of some family members and/or friends who would be willing to help me. (Help! Any takers?)
I really am astonished. When I worked in the mall during college I remember walking past the maternity store frequently and there were so many cute outfits on display. What has happened? It is so sad and disgusting to see what is available now. I cannot believe that no one out there is trying to market clothing to pregnant women with… taste?
Well, that’s my little rant for now. Stay tuned for further updates in Sallie’s quest to dress like a lady in this maternity clothing wasteland.