We went outside this evening to see the Northern Lights. Caroline was able to take many lovely photos of what we saw here in West Michigan.
The heavens declare the glory of God;
the skies proclaim the work of His hands.
Psalm 19:1
Our Family Life
In Search of a Normal Week
Genuine question and I’d love to hear the experiences of others in the comments.
I consider a normal week to be one that unfolds mostly the way you expect it to when you go to bed on Sunday night. You know what’s on the calendar, you’ve planned for your responsibilities, and each day basically unfolds that way. There are no significant disruptions whether it is illness, an emergency, new appointments, etc.
How often do you have a week like that? Most weeks? Half of the time? Once in a blue moon?
Over the weekend my face started swelling up next to the right side of my nose and I didn’t feel well. Sunday it was definitely worse. (Because these things ALWAYS happen on the weekend, don’t they?) By Monday the right side of my face was sufficiently swollen that I contacted the doctor’s office and requested an in person visit that day.
Diagnosis? Sinus infection. A bad one. But only in one sinus. And I haven’t been sick (that I’m aware of). So I’m now on antibiotics.
So that messed up Monday homeschooling because I was unwell and had to go to the doctor in the afternoon. It also spilled over into Tuesday. We completed some of our studies, but my stamina is low enough that I didn’t push myself to do all the things.
If I had to make a guess, I would guess only 5-10% of our weeks are normal.
Is that the case for you? Is this what everyone experiences most weeks? Or are we an outlier? Is it normal for most weeks to never go the way you plan?
We purposefully live a life with margin, but it seems like it is never enough lately.
What is your experience?
Removing the Distracting Possibilities Around Me
One of the things I’ve been working on is removing the distracting possibilities from my life. That’s what I’m calling all the things that call out to me with their potential.
There are only so many hours in the day, days in the week, and weeks in the year. There are only so many years in a life. I could live five lifetimes and never do or learn all the things that interest me. I could never read all the books, do all the projects, become proficient in all the instruments, learn all the languages, or develop all the skills.
Even though I’m interested in so many of those possibilities, I’m more committed to prioritizing and enjoying my cozy life. It’s difficult to rest and enjoy your life if you’re constantly distracted or tempted by other things around you.
So I’ve been slowly and methodically removing the distracting possibilities over the past several months. It’s been a slow process as I’ve had to fit it in around the responsibilities of life. Some of these things I probably could have gotten rid of many years ago, but they were still potentially useful if I decided to move in a particular direction. I’ve now reached the point in life where those possibilities have dropped off my list of likely to be acted upon. It’s been time to let them go. It’s included everything from physical items to papers in manila folders and three-ring binders to digital files to mental to-do-someday lists.
The distractions come in a variety of formats, not just in the physical realm.
But every time I let something go that I know I will never get to, it further frees me up for the things I truly do want to be a part of my life.
Navigating Real Life
The past five months or so have been one of the most intense periods I’ve been through in a long time. Intense in different ways than other times I’ve experienced in my life and so they have also been draining in different ways.
Here’s a fact that will give you a glimpse of what life has been like. Last week we finally celebrated Christmas with David’s parents. Yes, in the middle of March. We only live about 45 minutes away from each other.
I am craving normality, whatever that is. I am craving a rhythm that I seem unable to establish right now for many reasons beyond my control. Most of the things impacting my life involve a variety of other people and these are not my stories to tell. I can only keep walking forward as I try to adjust to the various things going on around me.
In the midst of it, I’ve lost most of my ability to care about the needs of others beyond my own home. There’s just not much left to give. I try to do my best to care for my husband and daughter. After that? There’s not much there. It’s like there is a wall around my heart with a sign that says, “I’ve got nothing left to give.”
I have long made it a policy to not blog while angry or feeling down because I know from previous experience that I usually regret it. Every day I think of many things I could write or say here, but I’m usually too mentally tired to put forth the effort it takes to write something that seems worthwhile. And to be really honest, a lot of the time it feels like if I write it either really won’t matter or I’ll simply lose more readers because people are so maxed out that they have almost no tolerance for anything that is uncomfortable in any way.
And the irony is not lost on me that right around the time I switched my website tagline to being a happy warrior for Christ I have felt like anything but that. Among all the other things that have been going on, our family has been under sustained spiritual attack for many months. It’s exhausting and we really don’t have anyone in real life to share the burden with which makes it even more difficult. I told a friend I was chatting with online last week that I just wanted to walk away from everything and be done. She said she had just had a similar conversation with someone else only an hour before. I think there is a lot of that going around.
So that’s life for me right now. I almost feel badly posting this because it feels so heavy. Maybe it is yet another post that really won’t matter. I don’t know. I simply felt finally like saying something tonight. Maybe someone else will read this someday and feel less alone.