I’ve never seen this done before or written about, but thought I would ask. Does anyone put their toddler to bed at night with books and let him/her fall asleep reading?
Caroline has a very good nap routine now. She is consistently in her bed reading every afternoon for about 20-30 minutes and then falls asleep. She then usually sleeps about two hours. (Heavenly afternoons for David and me!)
Bedtime is a different story.
In the past, she has fallen asleep during her bottle and then we just put her to bed asleep. (I know all the books say not to do this, but that’s what we did.) If she didn’t fall asleep during her bottle, she would usually just sit quietly in our lap, enjoying her binky, and would fall asleep and we would put her in bed.
Then she started walking.
Since she’s been walking, she wants nothing to do with falling asleep in our arms. We decided that if she is capable of doing a naptime routine, she should be able to do a bedtime routine and put herself to sleep.
So last week we started the cry it out thing at night. She has only cried hard for a few minutes each night except for one night I thought she was going to burst a blood vessel she was so mad. She generally is asleep in 20-40 minutes. I have mixed feelings about crying it out, but I’m also not willing to wrestle her every night and try to get her to calm down and go to sleep.
So all this got me to thinking. Would it be bad to put her to bed at night with books and let her fall asleep that way? Then we would go in and turn out the light after she is asleep. David and I both read before we go to sleep and we have since we were children. It really does help me unwind and fall asleep. Will it work to start her out so young doing this?
Okay, all you experienced moms out there. Pitfalls to this thinking? Holes in my theory? Unforeseen ramifications?
We’ve done this for years. It started when our now 11 yo was around 2. She wouldn’t go to sleep by herself even though we read to her first every night. She still needed something more. Letting her look at books right before bed did the trick. I think it helped her quiet her mind. It does that to me.
Oh, btw, our kids still read before bed. They love it. I see absolutely nothing wrong with it, Sallie. In fact, I see it as you telling her books are a good thing.
Why not? My second child liked a few books in his crib with him, and still has a little collection on his nightstand. I say go for it! Nice thing is that the books are there in the morning too, so they have something to look at while you’re showering.
Hi-
My daughter has to have books in her arms to look through when we tuck her in…we don’t leave a light on though, she looks at them by nightlight. She is two now, but has been doing this for quite a while.
Lacey
I think it’s a good idea, too. We actually did something similar (books, and also a couple soft, noiseless toys) for the opposite reason–we had an extreme early riser for a while. He would wake and play with the toys and books and sometimes drift back to sleep, or just play quietly until a more reasonable hour.
Sometimes we just need quiet time alone doing something we like. I think that is pretty normal. 🙂
I can’t see that there would be any harm in it. Many adults read on their way to falling asleep.
Thanks, Ladies! So do you all put a bright nightlight by their bed or just leave the light on til they go to sleep?
Ellie does this……….
Jonathon reads to her and then leaves her with the book for about 5 or 10 minutes and then goes back in and turns off the light, whether she is asleep yet or not. Ofcourse she is quite a bit older than C, we went though months of the fighting to bed routine, NOT FUN! It is nice though now that it has passed, I say do what works for you. Amie
I would definitely try it and if it works why not do it consistently? I recommend soft lighting, perhaps a small lamp (I think you would need something more than just a night light), so the room is soothing yet dim enough that she knows that it’s night time.
Let us know how it goes!
My little girl isn’t old enough to be even crawling yet, but I can tell you that I read myself to sleep for naps and bedtime for years. No one was surprised when I got a graduate degree in library science. 😉
We always did this. If they aren’t calm enough to sleep yet, they can wind down enjoying books. Our nursery had a soft lamp I would leave on if they weren’t ready to sleep (rather than the bright overhead light), then I would go in later, make sure no books were being crushed as they slept (grin), and turn out the light. Works for them, works for us. 🙂
Hmmmmm. I always used to go to sleep reading myself but not until I was older. With Daniel I give him his milk. Then we have one or two stories, sing some songs, pray and I go out the room. There is a little light plugged into a socket just for comfort.
We just use lamp light now, although we did use night lights when they were small. We let them read for a certain amount of time (maybe 15-30 minutes, depending on how generous we feel); then we say “lights out” and they turn off their lights (no toddlers here right now, though, so things would be different if we had any). If we make exceptions and let them read longer (we’re pretty laid back around here), we sometimes have to turn off their lights for them. (Well, actually, only for the girls. Our son is responsible enough that we never have to turn off his light.)
If it works…it certainly is better than the multitude of chidlren at that age that go to sleep with the TV!
The one thing I did with my son when he was that age was to read, sitting in the rocking chair, turn off the lights and sing to him. I would then leave some soft classical music playing in his room for him to listen to as he fell asleep. Now, at 8, he falls asleep surrounded by books!
What harm could come from this? Caroline is learning to comfort herself, calm down and sleep. And, she’ll have something handy in the morning to occupy her time when she awakens. We did this with all of our children. We had a bedside lamp that we left on until we went to bed. All of my children were early readers. I don’t know if it is because we allowed them to read themselves to sleep, but it certainly didn’t hurt them.
I let our kids take books to bed when they were very young and it became their habit. Now, as adults, they each have at least one book on the nightstand ready to help them relax and go to sleep.
I agree with everyone else. We always did this when our kids were little. It helped them to become the voracious readers they are now.
My parents did this with me. They left a small night light on for a few years, then as I was older I would turn out the light, or leave it on. They let me make that decision. It was a little clown lamp with an off/on switch right next to my pillow. It gave me the early start on reading, and gave me a love of books early in life. To this day I still fall asleep reading. Nothing can be more comforting, or at Caroline’s age – distracting! After all, their little minds always focus on something when they are put down to bed! Why not on books?
My little buggie is 30 months. He rarely falls asleep right away when he goes to bed.
he does one of the following since he was about 14 months or so.
– reads books, plays with his trains/cars, plays with his favourite lovey (TAGU), or with whatever he decides he just HAS to take to bed with him.
He plays for about 20-60 minutes and then he is gone. This is after we have read our 5-6 books together. He likes to have a bottle and cereal (dry) in bed too for when he wakes up early in the morning before we come to get him (doesn’t touch them til then). Meet all those prerequisites and one has a child who doesn’t scream going to bed. 🙂
I’ve been bouncing this one around for our 16 month old, but have hesitated because he’s teething like a madman, and I’m concerned that he might chew his books up. I do catch him with one occasionally in his mouth. So, I’ve decided to wait until he’s beyond this stage. If you don’t have this issue with Caroline, I’d say it’s worth a try.
I’ve been considering this too, for my girls (3 and 5) they are *perfect* nappers (going down when they’re supposed to) but *horrid at bedtime.
I’m with you Sallie! This makes no sense! But I’m one who’s *never* fallen asleep while reading a book of my own choosing. I mean, my eyes practically dry out and I have to put the book away before I’ll go to sleep.
And we’ve given the girls a choice of being read to, or reading to themselves and they always take the being read too. I guess I should just start being mean and making them read alone…
I still want to turn the lights out at the same time. Is that unreasonable?
(I’m embarrassed now– I just saw the “Untangling” in my name tag has been misspelled– probably in all of today’s comments.)
We do this sometimes…sometimes we just put her to bed without books too. Our 17 MO shares a bedroom with her older sister (7) so we usually leave a small lamp on for when big sis goes to bed to read anyway.
I can’t see any harm in letting them fall asleep with books.
I love it when they still nap during the day, my 5 and 3 year olds still take about 2 hours and it works well for me. When the 3 year old goes to bed at night he normally isn’t ready to sleep but as long as he learns he mustn’t come down stairs unless it is most necessary I don’t mind him flicking through some books.
Another funny thing is all my kids have looked at books at some stage in bed at night and we NEVER have to go back in to put the light off. Seems they just know they are tired and switch it off before bedding down.
So I let them read two nights ago, just to see if they might get tired from it.
Two hours they went: from 8 to 10, with one asking for her light to be off but neither going to sleep.
I could only feel free to do this because they’ve been awake till 10 without the books and I always feel guilty making them lie there doing nothing for two hours.
Then last night I just let them have ten minutes of quiet reading after 8, and the 5-y-o was still awake until after 10.
Very sad.
We all find their long time to sleep frustrating. (The only thing we haven’t tried from the books is putting them to bed between 6:30 and 7:30. We’ve just not been “together” enough to get them down that soon after bed.)
*sigh* At least they’re relatively resigned to it and it’s not a war every night.
(sorry, not trying to hijack thread)