I don’t write negative posts very often, but I’m not going to be a Pollyanna on here either. So here it is.
I’m experiencing a lot of frustration right now with a lot of things. My laptop gives me fits every time I sit down to use it and I’ve wanted to literally throw it more than a few times in recent months. I’ve had it for five and a half years which is ancient in computer years, especially considering the workout it gets each week. Everything is slow and we’ve done everything we can to make it run better. It is just old and therefore gives me all kinds of problems. So instead of blogging and emailing being enjoyable, I usually end up frustrated and with rising blood pressure.
I’m also frustrated by my lack of time and brain power. This continues to be the biggest adjustment for me in motherhood. I’m tired, I don’t feel like I can do even a fraction of what I used to be able to do mentally, and so I write insipid posts on here and continue to feel frustrated that there are some really good topics I want to write about and I just don’t get the time or mental energy to do so. Adding physical therapy to the mix twice a week just makes it worse since it takes what little free time I do have and necessitates me traveling to and from PT as well as doing all of my exercises and stretches at home. I know it is worth it to feel better and I’m already seeing good progress, but when you already feel crunched for time, it is frustrating.
And then there are the things I can’t write about here because they involve other people. But those situations kind of stink right now too and I’m thoroughly sick of dealing with the same things over and over again.
So there is my story. I already know it is pathetic to even complain about these things when so many people are facing so much worse. I know that everything will work out for my good in the end and God is using these situations for my good. It’s like I tell David – everything seems worse when you are tired. But that might help you understand where I’m coming from right now. I love my life, I love my husband, I love my daughter, I love who God has made me to be, but sometimes in spite of all the good I just find myself really battling some serious frustration with my limitations.
In the meantime, hang on and know that I’m trusting God in the midst of it all. 🙂
More Life With Caroline
So sorry to hear about your frustrations… I had said many times through the years that one of the hardest parts of motherhood is the constant fatigue. I’ve teased at many times during the years I’ve had children that I survived on Diet Coke and Advil. Adding these little people to our lives takes so much more from us than we’d ever imagined.
But it does get easier, and you do adapt and learn how to manage with the energy you have (and some days, you just go to bed really early). 🙂
Hang in there.
Sallie, hope things get a little more encouraging for you soon! 🙂
Dear Sallie,
I am 49 years old and my daughter is now 27 years old. It is hard as you get older, only the challenges are different to a babe in arms i.e. education, careers. Having that still, quiet place in my heart each day has made all the difference to me. When I don’t have my inner peace, the whole world knows! Everything, large and small is out of kilter. So, slow down and accept you are in therapy. Things will change, they always do.
Annie
Praying for you!
Feeling your pain, Sallie. I’ve got some of the same problems these days. I have things I’d like to write about, but it feels like I only have the time and energy to blog about the mundane, when it’s all said and done. Nap time is just too short…
It really does get better but then again, you are dealing with being the mom of a baby/toddler at the same time you’re dealing with going into your 40s (either of which can cause your brain to do strange things).
I was just thinking today of how things have changed because I used to be able to do many things at once and do them all well. Now it takes all of my attention to work at one thing. My baby is almost eighteen so I don’t think I can blame it on him, or can I?
I know it sounds trite but everything you are going through will benefit others as you learn how to handle it and use your wonderful communication skills as you learn how to handle the struggles and changes.
Sallie- thank you for being honest, and I want you to know how much I dearly love you!!! I know how you feel, so often I feel like I have to give everyone a happy, cheerful appearance because I am a Christian, and Christian’s are suppose to have it all together. Please don’t feel like you need to do that on your blog, I think a lot of women would feel better knowing that it is ok not to have everything in your life “perfect” all the time.
Thank you so much, please keep blogging when you can.
Blessings!
Sallie, I’m sorry to hear that things are rough right now. Just know you have a lot of blog friends praying for you!
One piece of news I’m sure you have been happy about today- your undefeated Spartans! Congrats! My Huskies didn’t do so well against Ohio State. 🙁
Yeah, Welcome to Motherhood………sorry that isn’t more comforting. 🙂
But if it makes you feel any better I really enjoy Sallie’s Stack.
Amie 🙂
I just said a prayer for you! Hang in there.
I know you already know this and I know it probably doesn’t help much, but everything you are feeling right now is absolutely normal for this stage of parenting. And more importantly…it will change. Hang on, don’t sweat the small stuff, and I know you hear it all the time but really. Enjoy that baby while you can.
Been there. thanks for sharing that you get frustrated too. some of us need the reminder to be “real” with our friends, especially our “online” friends. it’s far to easy to let everyone think we are “just fine” all the time.
I’ll be looking forward to whatever post is “cooking” durning the down times, & I really enjoy Sallies Stack too.
Mrs. N
Oh, I’m adding my prayers to those already spoken. This too shall pass. I was reading about Neimiah today and how he had a passion, and calling, to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem…yet he was criticized, people tried to stop him and all manner of bad things came to him. As I read your post I couldn’t help but think that even when you have a calling, or a passion of something from God, it doesn’t mean that you will have smooth sailing every moment while you’re on the journey. God just promises to be ‘with you’ no matter what. So, perhas you can think about God’s strong arms wrapping around you and holding you close to the bosom of His spirit, comforting you and uplifting you through this time.
Thanks for your honesty, Sallie! I’m really enjoying Sallie’s Stack- you find such great links! And the name and theme of your new blog is just too cute! 🙂
You can be thankful Grandparents are within driving distance…that’s what I miss the most when I’m tired! We keep moving, but never close to Grandparents, unfortunately.
(I also miss coffee now that I’m allergic to it, and more so when I’m tired)
They do get more helpful as they get older (although they are really cute at that age; however, there’s a reason God made them so cute–they’re a lot of work!)
At 5, they can get their own breakfast, fix a simple lunch when needed, help with younger siblings, read to you (if you start with a good phonics program and don’t teach any sight words), remind you of things you forget because you lost half your mind with each kid and not all of it has come back, unload the dishwasher, dress themselves, walk on backs (Dad says 40 pounds walking up and down the spine is the perfect therapy), and act as a semi-competent answering machine (there are a few glitches in the system.) 5 can also check the weather online and tell/show Grandma and Grandpa how to use their computer (this unsolicited help is not always appreciated, but is generally needed.)
2 can fetch things and put things in the garbage, although the mess they make generally exceeds anything they might throw away…however, again, they’re cute!