It’s been rather quiet around my online home this fall. As I’ve been watching this horror unfold, I couldn’t bring myself to write about organizing your pantry and homeschooling your gifted/2e child. They are valid topics and certainly continue to have a place here in pursuing a quiet and simple life. But I’ve been watching one of the biggest events in world history unfold in real time and observing that many people in my circles of influence in real life and online have virtually no comprehension of what is actually happening. Thinking about reminding people to check their spice expiration dates before the holidays while simultaneously watching the evil destruction slowly developing around the world as people are daily gaslighted and denied the truth about the apparent bioweapon being administered has left me in a place I never imagined I would be.
So it has been quiet here in this main area. I couldn’t continue on as though nothing was happening. I’ve posted every so often so people would know I hadn’t abandoned the place. I especially shared Scripture because it seems to be the best thing to do when you know other things you might say won’t be heard. I’ve consistently pointed people to my Telegram channel for actual news, even placing the feed in the blog sidebar so it was always right there. I encouraged people to find other sources of news in the hope that it would wake people up. I encouraged people to look at the information I was posting in the Forum with the hope it might bring about conversation there. I tried to keep all of the world events out of this main space while still trying to warn people.
I even researched publishing on Substack. But I quickly realized it made no sense to start writing on another platform when I already have one I completely control. I have methodically worked to free myself from the fear of being cancelled by changing my website hosting and lessening my dependence on big tech. I am nearly there with one more aspect to deal with this week. Why would I write about important topics somewhere else when I have my very own place that I’ve worked so hard on for fifteen years? Other than potentially reaching another audience, it makes no sense.
In the end, I always come back to this point where it simply isn’t possible for me to be silent. I’ve lost track of how many times I have circled around this cycle over the past fifteen years. Some of you know exactly what I’m talking about because you’ve seen me do it so many times it’s virtually predictable given the world in which we live.
I told a friend a number of weeks ago that I need one of two things from what I do here in order to make it worthwhile. I either need:
- interaction with readers so I know what I’m doing is worthwhile OR
I have to perceive there is some value to what I’m investing my life energy in.
However, I realized there is a third option I hadn’t previously considered. The third option is to build something here that I am proud of and represents a summary of my life work. Maybe it is like publishing a book but in an online form where I share all that God has given me in terms of life experience, gifts, abilities, insights, etc. In this instance, even if no one ever comments and I make no money from it, it still has lasting value even if it is only to share my life story with my child and grandchildren in the future. Naturally I hope people will comment and I will make money, but by removing those “goals” to establish value I actually freed myself quite a bit.
For example, no one will be able to read here in the future and ask why I remained silent during the events we are living through. I have not remained silent. If I have any regret, it is only that I didn’t make more things front and center sooner instead of sharing around the edges and encouraging people to look at them. What’s done is done, but I have not remained silent. Every single regular reader here has been shown the truth time and again from multiple places. I have done my Christian duty to love people by sharing the truth.
I made peace long ago with the fact that as a gifted woman, wired the way I am, I will never fit in. Like other gifted people, I don’t know life any other way. I’m blessed the Lord has put people in my life in recent years who have pointed out to me that I really do have unique gifts and abilities. Because this is the only way I know how to see and interact with the world, it seems “normal” to me. But to hear people I value and trust point out that I have a unique set of gifts that are not “normal” has been both helpful and reassuring.
To help tie it all together, God allowed me to discover the concept of “weird sheep” this week which I will write about in a separate post: On Being A Weird Sheep.
So over the past several weeks when I’ve barely published anything new I have been working steadily behind the scenes to change what is on this site so it more accurately reflects what I value. I’ve removed posts that represent things I do not wish to promote. I ruthlessly cleaned out my shop of products that don’t represent where I wish to go in the future (while also making it much easier to navigate). In the process, I actually removed some of my best selling products. I don’t care. If this website is going to represent the body of my life work over the coming weeks, months, and years, then whether or not I sell some of this or that is irrelevant.
Cleaning out products and posts came about from a conversation I had with a woman who has also closed her Teachers Pay Teachers shop over the anti-racism push and what I personally see as systematic censorship on that platform. We discussed how we had allowed selling to teachers on TPT to shape what we created and wrote about on our websites. We both regret it since our real audience is homeschoolers and mothers. For me, it has meant unwinding parts of my website since I started on TPT in 2012 and removing things I no longer wish to sell or promote. It also means republishing many posts that do fit with my life’s work that I had removed at some point. Many of them would fit more with old-fashioned blogging which also fits with my life work since being a blogger has been a big part of how God has worked and used me.
As I wrote yesterday in Closing Down The Forum, the forum will be going away in the next week. It isn’t being actively used and it doesn’t fit with my long-term vision of what I’m building here. I’m glad I tried it, but it’s time to close it down. I am going to take the content from probably a dozen of the best threads over there and publish it as blog posts so it won’t be lost.
I’ve also made cosmetic and functionality changes that will continue as I work out the vision of what I have for this place.
On the French memo board in front of my desk is a pewter colored metal bookmark with a dark green ribbon. Inscribed on it in dark green is this:
It is never to late to be what you might have been. – George Eliot
The same holds true for this website. I sincerely hope you find value in it moving forward.