My life has been governed by the school year calendar for the past 53 years. I started kindergarten in 1972. I lived through public school, college, teaching, college campus ministry work, teaching again, working on an unfinished masters, and doing contract work for a charter school company. David became an adjunct instructor at his alma mater. While he was still teaching, we moved into the homeschooling life.

In approximately 22 weeks, my life being ruled by a school year calendar will end.

Yes, I really am counting down the weeks. It won’t be too long before I will be counting in days.

I am so ready to move on to another part of my life. I am ready to not be governed by choosing curriculum, adapting curriculum, planning vacation schedules, and being a teacher. Catching up when we’re behind. Making adjustments.

Being responsible for all of it.

I am so ready to enjoy just being my daughter’s mom and not also my daughter’s teacher. 

I am so ready to enjoy being a family without having to factor in homeschooling all the time. 

I wrote back in October that I have a bad case of senioritis and I do. I am being diligent to the end, but I am so ready to be done.

Caroline laughed at me today and said she thinks I’m more excited about the end than she is.

Oh, yes. I am more excited to be done than she is.

Not because I regret homeschooling. I don’t. I would do it all over again. It’s arguably the most important thing I’ve accomplished in my life. But it has been a challenge in ways I never could have anticipated.

I wish I had understood some things much earlier. It would have made a difference for both Caroline and me.

No insane lockdowns by evil government leadership would have helped as well.

Yes, I am ready to be done. I am ready to not be thinking about homeschooling every day. Not having this vague sense of always being behind hanging over me. I may write more about that some day. Maybe not. I don’t know.

Homeschooling has been both a joy and a burden. It has been such a lonely journey as a homeschool mom. I’ve had almost no one to share my burdens with over these many years. There was no support group or anyone local I could go to who would understand the unique set of challenges I was facing. There have been a few friends who live far away that I could talk to but that’s about it.

I will always have opinions about education and homeschooling. Education has been my life work. Maybe when I’m no longer in the thick of things I’ll be ready to write more. I anticipate there are some things I will share when we are done as homeschoolers and then I’ll be mostly done discussing it in any detail. My story will have come to an end. Caroline’s story is hers to share or not.

There are many things I learned while homeschooling that I will probably never write about. The further we’ve gotten along in our homeschooling and parenting journey, the more reluctant I am to write about it. Some things are private. Not because there is anything to be ashamed of or embarrassed by, but simply because there is no obligation to discuss everything about our family in public.

I don’t know. Time will tell.

Maybe what I’m feeling is what others feel when they approach retirement from a job. It’s as if I’ve had two different teaching careers over the past 35 years. 

Anyway, I removed the word family from the tagline today. I also updated my About page. I realized I don’t want to set myself up here as someone writing about family. It’s too narrow and I want to reach more people than only parents and mothers. I’ve lived in that space for decades now. I want to give myself the freedom to do whatever I want. 

I want to think different thoughts. 

There were so many things I wanted to create and write about over the past 20 years. There simply wasn’t time. And now the time has past. So many printables I wanted to make. So many learning ideas to share. I just don’t know if that’s where I want to spend my time any longer.

I’m more of a commentator when it comes down to it. I connect dots and share how things relate and work. I observe and share. I think I’m ready to move more in that direction than anything else. I’d like to see where I could get my writing published online. 

I’m looking forward to discovering what my brain feels like when it’s not full of navigating school and homework and exams and teaching and students and a school calendar and homeschooling. 

It’s something I haven’t known in 53 years. 

I can’t wait.