I’m continuing my series of 40 Things I’ve Learned By Age 40.
21. Bad people happen to good Christians. Bad Christians happen to good Christians. Good Christians suffer for the sins of others.
22. Giving people the benefit of the doubt goes a long way. Trust but verify.
23. Hindsight is always 20/20.
24. Hindsight is not always 20/20.
25. Learn to detach yourself emotionally from decisions and be able to walk away if necessary.
26. Spiritual abuse is real, devastating, and hard to understand unless you experience it firsthand. Once you do experience it, you never look at things the same way again.
27. Life does not always make sense, even for Christians. Things will happen that seem to contradict the goodness and sovereignty of God, but it does not change God’s goodness and sovereignty.
28. Very few things in the world are as wonderful as holding a baby fresh from his or her bath.
29. Learning to say no and let go is the beginning of freedom.
30. You become an adult when you accept your parents for who they are and can be thankful for all they did for you, even if you don’t completely understand or agree with every decision they made when raising you.
See all of the posts in this series:
- 40 Things I’ve Learned By Age 40 – #1-7
- 40 Things I’ve Learned By Age 40 – #8-15
- 40 Things I’ve Learned By Age 40 – #16-19
- 40 Things I’ve Learned By Age 40 – #20
- 40 Things I’ve Learned By Age 40 – #21-30
- 40 Things I’ve Learned By Age 40 – #31-39
- 40 Things I’ve Learned By Age 40 – #40
40 Things I’ve Learned By Age 40 – #20
Thank you so much for this portion of your list. Number 21 and 26 ring true for us at this moment and my husband and children and I are in the process of healing. Praise the Lord for His faithfulness!
#30! For me, it took having kids of my own to realize how much my own parents (my mom especially) really, truly, love me! For years I struggled to buy my mom a mother’s day card, because I just couldn’t give the ones I knew I ought to give with honesty. Now I can. It’s been a wonderful thing in my life to learn to be thankful for them and know that they really did the best they could.
I’m really enjoying this series!
Angel
Re. #26: It sounds like you speak from experience. My family has been through this, and you’re right. You never look at things the same way again. Our feelings were confirmed partially through reading articles on the “Battered Sheep” site (even though I keep picturing a deep-fryer 😉
Well, lots of familiarity in that one! I’m with you on 21,23,24,26,27!! I don’t disagree with you on the others, they’re just not yet quite as “written on my heart”. I have no doubt they will be. 🙂
I was forwarded your blog and I’m so grateful. Thank you for this last post. #21 and 27 really spoke to me. You said exactly what I have been feeling for a while and trying to deal with. #30 is currently an issue for me. I’m nearly 32 and I still struggle so much with my parents at times. I know I have some growing to do.
I’m looking forward to reading some of your archives. You write from your heart and I look forward to learning from you!
Oh, I love Caroline’s room. My daughter is 3.5 and I’m just now getting her room in order and you’ve given me a lot of ideas! Thank you!
God Bless…
I can see myself needing to learn many of these items listed. I try but it is very hard to let go but I am learning to accept my parents for who they really are.
Ladies, thank you so much for leaving these comments. They really blessed me. 🙂
Stacy – Praise God that you are on the road to healing!
Angel – Thank you for sharing your encouraging mini-story. I would guess it will encourage someone else who is still struggling.
Sabine – Battered Sheep! LOL! I’ll never see that site again without thinking about hot oil! 🙂 Seriously, though, I am so glad you and your family have been delivered and are healing.
Susan – Thank you so much for saying hello! I hope you will stop back often. 🙂
Angela – I trust God has good things in store for you and He will be faithful to help you in this area as you desire to grow and change. He is so good! Hugs to you! 🙂
Sallie, on 21 and 26 I really appreciate your honesty and encouragement. I find it’s rare for people to talk about these things and while I understand it may be too personal/sensitive to post about this in detail I wonder if there is any reading or anything else you can recommend to your readers who may be struggling in this area right now? For myself, having been what I see retrospectively as an overly controlling and sometimes pharasaical environment I now feel confused about how I should think and respond to teaching on themes like submission, wholeheartedness and sacrifice.
I have loved your 40 series and it’s great to learn from your experience – congratulations on your birthday!