This afternoon I had an epiphany about my experience as a mom of an only child. I was rocking Caroline in her room, giving her a bottle before her nap. I was thinking about how big she was in my lap (97th percentile for length) and that while she meets all of her milestones within the “normal” range, she usually hits them very close to the late end.
At fourteen and a half months she’s cruising and just in the past two days she’s started standing alone for several seconds at at time. Table food is still a slow go except for anything related to bread or crackers or coffee cake or any other fab carb. She’s all about carbs right now! Milk is a no go. I am pretty sure she has an issue with milk such as an allergy or sensitivity. (Any suggestions from those who have gone before in this area?) I’m sure we’ll still be doing formula in the bottle when we go for her fifteen month appointment later this month. The only area where she seems to be on the early end of the curve is her vocabulary. She is saying new words all the time and is already well past the average of five words by eighteen months.
These things don’t bother me most of the time because I know she will do everything she is supposed to do when it is the right time. She’s just her own little person! But like most moms, especially a first-time mom, it is easy to feel that subtle pressure when people say, “Oh, isn’t she walking yet?” or “Isn’t she eating regular food yet?”
While I was thinking about what the pediatrician was going to say when she’s still not “there” yet at her fifteen month appointment, the Holy Spirit spoke to me. I know it was the Holy Spirit because it went straight to my heart and made me weepy. It was this.
God has made Caroline to hit her milestones a little later because it is allowing us more time to enjoy the baby/toddler times since this will be our only walk through them.
If Caroline had jumped to regular food early, walked early, and did everything early I think David and I would have felt like it flew by so quickly that it was over before it even got started. Instead, we’ve had time to really experience each stage with Caroline. Yes, there have been days I’m tired of washing bottles or I wish she would just eat what we eat, but this season is such a brief one in our lives. Each bottle is a precious reminder of what a sweet gift we have been given.
I was sharing my epiphany with David and he wrote back, “If it was all easy and quick, we’d be saying, it’s been too quick. Don’t you think these situations have forced us to focus on her and the moments instead of allowing us in our quest for efficiency and achievement to just ‘get by them’ and get down to business?”
I think David is absolutely right.
So I felt like this insight was such a precious gift from God. We’ve made it a priority to enjoy each day with Caroline. I think we’ve done a very good job. While thinking about all of this, I realized that sometimes what I write here might make it seem like we aren’t enjoying these times. I tend to write about issues as they come up instead of just writing about all the daily joys we experience. So I did want to share about this blessing from God and share this picture of us enjoying a fun moment on Sunday. Caroline is such a fun little girl and blesses us daily with her cute ways, hugs, and laughs. We are so thankful.
I can tell you my son has done everything later, because he is the LAST baby we’ll have. I haven’t pushed things too soon, too fast like I did with the first and second. Since you’ve pretty much known (and I’m going on what you’ve shared on the blog here) all along Caroline is your lovely only child, you have kind of operated out of the same mindset, and have extra cherished these baby days! I think it is great.
No worries. Enjoy the journey, right ??? I think I’ve heard that somewhere.
As for the bottles, the only reason I quit at 12 mos was simply because it was so gosh darn expensive having 2 in formula. I switched them to half formula/half milk for a few weeks and then totally to milk. It worked for us, but we didn’t have allergies to deal with.
What an adorable picture!
The world tends to have a standard or measuring rod for everything, from the size of your house to how soon your baby sleeps through the night. Sometimes these standards cause us to second guess ourselves when we know better. My 16 month old was a late walker, and late in cutting teeth, much to the dismay of “friends” who were “concerned” about his progress. With my older two, I would have been bothered, but I’ve finally got it figured out. My little boy is just fine, thank you, developing at the rate God has planned for him. Besides, I put quite a bit of work into bringing this little one into the world, why rush him off to college before his time? Whose standard am I trying to satisfy?
What a darling picture! 🙂
What a beautiful, meaningful post — I got weapy reading it. Thank you for sharing this. God is so gracious and loving and kind to use His spirit to reveal this to you. Continue to enjoy your little girl; celebrate each day of her precious life.
I, like Christian, felt a little teary-eyed as I read of your “Epiphany’……those of us who’ve gone before you have all felt the same.
Aren’t you glad that the God of all Comfort gave us examples in His Word of strong men and women who had ‘Epiphanies’ of their own? There was a reason Moses and the Children of Israel stopped by the way and built those small monuments. Similarly as you are doing in recording for others who come after you.
Blessings to your family in this wonderful Season of awe and revelation…..
Sounds like you are on the right track about not stressing about “lateness”. Really, in 10 years, does it really matter who walked early? Mine have all been late walkers, BTW.
On the milk issue, if you can get your hands on some raw goat milk you might give that a try. We use that due to my being allergic to cow’s milk; also pasteurization changes the protein structure and can be a problem. To find a source in your area, try http://www.realmilk.com. I know, I said “ick” at first to that idea, but now am used to it and it’s a much healthier alternative to soy (IMO).
Best wishes to you in figuring this out…food allergies/intolerances are a pain. I have lupus (SLE) and have found this out the hard way.
I can appreciate where you are coming from with wanting to enjoy each baby stage while it lasts. They do grow so fast and I am constantly reminding myself to take time out from my duties around the house and with homeschooling just to enjoy each of my children!
I sent you an email about the milk allergy. My son is severly allergic, so I have a lot of experience with that.
PS That is a beautiful picture you posted!
She is just a doll. BTW, my oldest (now 10) didn’t walk until 15 months and he did not TOUCH a single bite of table food until 17 months–not even a Cheerio. Now he’s our little brainiac–brilliant and funny and smart and a pure delight. Don’t let those “slow” milestones get you down.
Beautiful photo of both of you! My encouragement for you is to try not to be too focussed on the eating “issues”. They can take a long time to work through. My daughter is almost 3 and the past year has been a real challenge for me with meals b/c she so often will not eat the food I have made. She loves her carbs and her milk but will not touch anything that is “mixed together” such as casseroles, lasagnes,etc. She has a highly sensitive sense of smell and often rejects food simply once she smells it. Even as it is baking she will ask “what’s that smell” and say “that is yucky” just be smelling it. Hang in there and be patient with the meal times b/c it could be quite awhile before she develops her own interest in table food. Maybe that does not help you, I don’t know…
Sallie,
I did not hear defintively that my blessing would be a one and only, but I figured she might be, due to our ages, etc…
She took her first step 9 days before her first birthday. I’m sure I could have pushed her, but why?
I have enjoyed every stage, including the one we are in now.
The best advice I ever heard came from my former rabbi/pastor-he said “Don’t look forward, don’t look back. Enjoy each stage as it comes.”
I intend to keep doing that-I hope you do too.
I am so happy for you Sallie, you have such an amazing little girl there 🙂 Amie
About the milk thing. She may just not like it. My Mom claims she could never get it down me and I still don’t like it 45 years later!! If she eats other dairy fine, don’t worry about it!!
I’m right there with you. Seth is 10 months old, and he isn’t crawling yet. He’s recently started being happy for more than a minute on his stomach on the floor, and he’s rolling around some, but everyone else I know has a baby who was crawling long before him. Finger food is so slow. He would rather that I fed him baby food from a jar than eat the real thing mashed up! He loves pea baby food, but he turned his head away when I tried to give him mashed peas. Maybe I need a table food grinder? I don’t know… I really don’t think he’s behind, but it’s easy to compare. I just need to enjoy this time when he’s still a baby. After all, I did wait three years for this, why can’t I just enjoy it? This’ll be my only time to really focus on these stages, since I figure that we’ll have more children somehow, but I won’t be able to pay as close attention when I have more than one. Thanks for sharing…
My daughter, now 4, didn’t walk until she was almost 15 months. My youngest son
will beis 14 months today, and he just started walking like a week ago. Both worried us at first, because our oldest son started walking just after 10 months! Of course, he never did crawl … All kids are different. I stopped paying attention to the milestones a while ago, because they just freaked me out. God made each child exactly how He made them; I’m not going to be able to change that.For the milk thing, I second the goats milk suggestions. We haven’t personally had any problems, but my close friend and two of her five kids have problems with dairy, and goat’s milk works wonderfully.
By the way, your husband sounds very wonderful and wise. You are very blessed!
Lovely picture! Thank you!
What’s wrong with a diet comprised largely of “bread or crackers or coffee cake or any other fab carb” – I kinda prefer those things myself!:)
Seriously, she’ll begin to try more things, and like them. My son was slow to begin eating vegetables & meat but by the time he was 2-3, he had made the transition to choosing & liking many “adult” foods.
You’re enjoying her, and that’s so important.
All three of our were slow at absolutely everything. I came to the conclusion that the Lord was giving me a golden opportunity to let all my friends (who of course did not have such wonderful children as ours) feel good about their own. All three have done very well in life, so maybe slowness is an indicator of future greatness! Just as an example, our daughter never crawled, but only squirmed across the floor, until the day she finally, at long last, got up and walked. She is an engineer with Intel, working overseas, and to this day, she signs her letters to us, “with love from Lizzy” –which might seem odd, as her name is Sarah. But Liz has been her nickname since babyhood, as she ‘lizard-ed’ her way across the room on her tummy.
My suggestions for adding a food: offer it only when the child is hungriest; don’t make a production of it, just mix it sneakily with something already enjoyed; offer only one bite and follow it immediately with something wonderful; it helps to tell the child that ‘this is grown-up food and you can’t have it yet’–which makes it desireable–… ‘well, just ONE TINY NIBBLE with your applesauce.’
I just wanted to say that the picture of your little girl (and you) is just darling. I love it. 🙂
I have had children walk anywhere between 11 months and 15.5 months. All are fine, verbal, and can move around fine. 🙂 The one who walked at 11 months isn’t even necessarily all that athletic…
Susan (wife to one and mama to eight from 26 to ALMOST-5 — sniff sniff… DEFINITELY enjoy the time you have. It does go SOOO fast!)
Don’t you just love the way the Holy Spirit works…we’re minding our own business and BAM! epiphanies like this occur, and we can only sit back, and bask in God’s grace and glory that He is LORD, once again.
Myself, I personally love those moments. 🙂
Everyone does things on their own time….for example, I’m still getting my DH to learn to eat vegetables. And he’s almost 30! 😉
I have to agree with abrianna too…I love her gentle reminder of looking forward, and not back. 🙂
Caroline is getting to look more like you, Sallie! What a cute little lady. 🙂
I’d like to tell you how fortunate you are. Our grandson was born within an hour of Caroline. I’ve posted about him before. He is extremely active. Cheerful, but oh so active. He’s visiting next week, and my daughter asked us to bolt all bookshelves to the wall before his arrival. Yes, he’s a climber. Watching him is very entertaining – in small doses. Fortunately, he has a very tender heart, and wants to obey. So count your blessings, Sally, I think God knew what He was doing when he gave you your dear little girl.
My little guy is two weeks older than Caroline and just started walking Sunday. He has two cousins around his age who have been walking for months. But he didn’t want to. So be it.
He also had issues switching from formula to milk, but I really think it was preference. He just loved his formula, it was his comfort food. My pediatrician suggested moving down to 2 percent. Still no luck. Finally, he had strep throat, and the nice cold milk was the perfect thing for his sore throat. After that we had no problems – that was about a month or so ago. He was late to the party for that one, too.
I’d think that if Caroline had a milk issue, you’d have problems with your milk-based formula, too.
What a cutie pie she is!
We have earlier walkers around here (all so far have started at 10 months), and I don’t know that you would really want that. There is a lot of chasing involved. Especially with our youngest, as she is very quick, even when crawling. I am glad you are just enjoying it. 🙂
Milk: Two of our children have milk issues. I don’t know about the baby yet. Real, raw milk does usually help because of all the live enzymes, but it’s illegal in a lot of states. And in our state, though it is legal, it is between $10-$20 per gallon.
And you thought gas was expensive.
However, we weren’t comfortable with how soy milk impacts estrogen levels. So…goat’s milk it is. And we are even able to get it free from farmers sometimes! But we also buy it at the store. The kids had to acquire a taste for it, but now they think cow’s milk is “weird.” At Caroline’s age, I would think she could acquire the taste (for whatever you choose) by mixing it with formula in increasing amounts over time.
Just a thought. 🙂 You are a good mommy.
That picture is adorable! She looks a lot like you. 🙂
Sallie, you are indeed blessed to have Caroline. She is adorable. Enjoy all your moments with her. I’ve had several miscarriages, and my husband and I have never been able to have children. I’m now 46, and the door to being parents has probably closed for us.