Every day last week I opened up the browser tab to write my weekly newsletter to you all. Then I sat and stared at it. I wanted to write, but all I could come up with was a torrent of angry words. Over the years of blogging I’ve learned that I don’t want to write when I’m angry and so every day I closed up the tab and didn’t write anything.

The past two weeks I’ve vacillated between righteous anger and an overwhelming sense of something akin to despair. I say akin to despair because as a Christian who believes in God’s goodness and God’s sovereignty, I have no personal reason to despair. But the evil that has clearly manifested itself in every part of the world right now including churches, government, schools, etc. reached a point where I found it overwhelming.

Overwhelming because I see sheep being led to slaughter. I see people completely unaware of what is going on around them. I hear people parroting words that are blatantly false, but they don’t know they are false because the truth is systematically and ruthlessly hidden from them. It is enough to drive someone who understands what is going on and sees it for what it is, completely mad. To see the lies spread everywhere. To see the truth censored and deleted.

Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God.

Psalm 42:5 ESV

As I was struggling with what to do as the new week approached, someone shared this on Gab.

As you examine yourself before you go to bed, you do not just ask yourself if you have committed murder or adultery; or whether you have been guilty of this or that, and if you have not, thank God that all is well. No. You ask yourself rather, ‘Has God been supreme in my life today? Have I lived to the glory and the honor of God? Do I know Him better? Have I a zeal for His honor and glory? Has there been anything in me that has been unlike Christ–thoughts, imaginations, desires, impulses?’ That is the way. In other words, you examine yourself in the light of a living Person and not merely in terms of a mechanical code of rules and regulations.

Dr. D. Martyn Lloyd-Jones

It was the reminder I needed yesterday of who I serve and who I answer to. Yes, I already knew it. But I had become so concerned about offending people, turning people off, etc. that I was afraid to speak the truth. I had become more concerned with “not giving people what they want” when they come here, that I wasn’t considering that God might call me to write hard words here sometimes. Righteous anger might be what God is asking me to write and, if so, I have to write it. I don’t just have to write it. I want to write it. I’m called to be faithful with this opportunity to write online.

We each live our lives to an audience of one. The only approval we need to seek is the approval of our Lord.

Have I lived my life today in a way that pleases Him? Have I shared the truth with those who need to hear it? Do I speak of my Lord?

When I go to bed at night, it doesn’t matter if anyone liked what I wrote. It only matters that I wrote what I believe God led me to write. It doesn’t matter if my subscriber numbers dwindle because people don’t want to hear difficult words. It only matters if the difficult words were true and life-giving.

I would rather write to my audience of One and share it with 20 others who are eagerly seeking the same Lord in all circumstances than cautiously write and pander to thousands. That has always been my view and I was reminded of it again during the events of the past few weeks.

So you, too, live your life to an audience of One. Your daily choices should be what pleases Him.

God doesn’t call us to be faithful in order to please man. He doesn’t call us to do, speak, and write that which will most soothe and please the masses who don’t want to think about the call of God on their lives. God calls us to be faithful to Him and His Word. We leave the results to Him. It is far better to be faithful with the widow’s mite and receive our reward in the life to come than anything else we could do.

As we continue through the climax of this Fourth Turning, the foundations of our culture will continue to be shaken. Every institution is being scrutinized and the evil is being dismantled from it. This includes the church.

One of the greatest gifts of the past two years has been the steady unmasking of all who are fake Christian leaders. We can see more clearly every day those who love God, follow Jesus, and love His sheep. The wolves and false teachers are being exposed every week and my soul rejoices that this is true. I have been speaking out about some of these charlatans for years and I rejoice that people are finally seeing them for who they truly are. They are a subversive enemy who follows man, not Jesus. They have purposefully infiltrated the church to lie, deceive, and destroy. I rejoice that their empires are crumbling and God’s children are seeing the truth.

Yes, it is overwhelming to see these stories day after day. I have a folder called “Add to forum” that is filled with links to share about the church, the coronavirus, government, etc. They have piled up because I have felt an overwhelming sense of grief over the lies and lives destroyed by these evil men and women who serve only their own interests and the interests of their true lord who is not Jesus Christ.

The folder is also filled with stories of the truth about everything going on around us in the country and the world. Honestly, one of the only things keeping me sane in the midst of all this (beyond my faith) is the ability to access the truth on platforms like Gab and Telegram. When I see examples of the important information that Facebook and Twitter shut down on a daily basis, it is appalling.

More than that, it’s evil. It’s calculated evil, designed to deny people access to vital information they have a right to know.

Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you in turmoil within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my salvation and my God.

Psalm 42:11 ESV

God is on His throne. I ask Him to protect His sheep who are being led to slaughter. I ask Him to be gracious and defend those who are defenseless, partially due to the evil that makes them defenseless and partially because they have no idea how the enemies of their soul are arrayed against them.

If you’ve read this far, good for you. You understand. Now go live your life today for the audience of One. When you go to sleep tonight, reflect on whether or not you’ve lived your life for Him today. Did you speak for Him? Did you give to others in His name? Were you changed today because you walked in His light? Ask yourself these questions from Dr. Lloyd-Jones:

• Has God been supreme in my life today?
• Have I lived to the glory and the honor of God?
• Do I know Him better?
• Have I a zeal for His honor and glory?

If the answer is yes and continues to be yes, then you have done what God has asked. Give thanks and rest well.