Are there insights or tips you could share to help other parents with differently-wired children? It can be anything for any kind of differently-wired child.
- Did you ever have an aha moment that made parenting easier?
- Did you read a book that opened your eyes?
- Do you have a piece of advice a professional gave you that made it all click for your family?
- What about an answered prayer that made all the difference in the world?
I hope you will leave a comment and share a word of insight or encouragement with the other parents who are reading here. Remember that there are always people not as far along on their journeys as you are and they can benefit from what you have learned. 🙂
Thank you!
When People Call Your Child Your Idol
A book that transformed our lives was The Highly Sensitive Child by Elaine Aron. I devoured it and kept thinking, where did she meet my daughter? I gained so much insight and changed my paradigm for parenting her. Another book that truly opened my eyes is The Explosive Child by Ross Greene. The basic premise that “children do well if they can” has helped lay the groundwork for teaching my son the skills he needs to be less explosive and more flexible, rather than viewing things through a “make him behave” lens.
Amy – Isn’t it amazing how reading a book can completely change the way you view your child and your parenting paradigm? It’s like all the pieces come together for the first time.
I love Dr. Sydney Walker III’s comment about children and their seemingly difficult behavior at times. He says that, “Children Act How They Feel.” In other words, he thinks that these wonderful children are not feeling well. Their nervous system is in “disequilibrium”, is what I say in the talks I do on this subject. They are using way too much battery energy to keep themselves calm and happy. These kids struggle all day, and especially at night when it is time to go to sleep. Because of this stress, their adrenal gland turns out cortisol to “high” just before they should be getting ready for bed. There little nervous system is turned upside down as a result, which often makes them “high maintenance.” They would love to be calm, and peaceful, but this is hard to achieve for them. They seem “strong willed” because they are trying to keep their world as orderly as possible (in their own way) to avoid more stress. They have many “SI” (sensory integration issues) symptoms…so many small things bother them, and parents have to walk on eggshells.
The really good news, however, is that this can all be helped immensely. I have hundreds of testimonies from parents about the change they see in their child’s behavior and reactions to life once they identify the stressors. I give a talk at homeschool conventions called, “Is It Character or Chemistry?” So many times we assume it is a child’s character, when in reality they are so struggling to keep their nervous system happy because of an imbalance of chemistry/nutrition. These guys are often “carb lovers” and picky eaters. Often we find that they have either been exposed to an “agent” such as antibiotics in utero, or in the first 3 years of life. Dr. William Crook found that 85% of kids with behavior/sensory issues later in life had antibiotics in their early years. This cause is easy to correct. Other times the causes are a little sneakier, but not hard to uncover. All it takes is a little sleuthing by the parent. (not necessarily blood tests, in my experience). To find out more about this, please read the article, The Biology of Behavior on my website. You will find so many things you can do at home to give your child a better day. Also download the Convention Handout, The Biology of Behavior, and see the checklist of symptoms these kiddoes present, and some easy home remedies. As a Nutritionist, I have found that these wonderful kids are easy to figure out, once we have a list of the symptoms. Like Nathan’s mom said, “Our days have changed from angry to peaceful.” Or the mom of Isaac, an 11 year old with huge anxiety said, “He now can go into the public restrooms by himself, and even stay overnight at a friends house. His life has changed.” We hear this everyday. All with simple changes, and some very targeted nutritional supplements that you can get at your local health food store. Just believe. Believe that God is revealing answers to you. I love the scripture, 2 Timothy 2:7, “You will receive insight and understanding in everything you ask for.” Let’s ASK!!
For a free Nutritional/Physical Symptoms checklist, just email me at craft@ecentral.com. Put “Nutritional Checklist” in the subject line. I will have one of my gals attach the list, and send it to you, without dialogue. You may find it helpful to pinpoint the clues your child is giving you, telling you why their behavior is more difficult. Clues you may not have realized were there before. God bless your efforts. We all appreciate Sallie for helping us explore this fascinating topic of children who seem to be “differently wired.”