Simple Living

This was originally written in June 2009 at the height of the “homeschool or you are a terrible Christian and will lose your children forever” movement in Christian homeschool blogging. I was thinking about this topic again and found this post to republish. I have rewritten it a bit because the post I linked to originally is from a blog that no longer exists. But the truth is just the same today as it was nine years ago. By way of advanced postscript, the son in question now attends the U.S. Naval Academy.

A prominent Christian blogger with several children recently shared that she and her husband have decided to (gasp! choke!) have their oldest son attend a small school with several other Christian boys who will all be taught by one woman.

Oh the drama! Oh the humanity! Christian mother who homeschools decides to do something that veers off the narrow path! As you can imagine, this has elicited a flurry of comments and a hot discussion.

Okay, I’m exaggerating a bit. Most of the people who commented left very kind, intelligent comments and it was a thought-provoking discussion even with people pushing back and leaving warnings for her. I left a couple of comments and one of them is what I wanted to write about here. I said in comment 43:

Re: encouraging women to do the hard thing… Sometimes doing the hard thing is not homeschooling multiple children. Sometimes the hard thing is having your heart changed by God and going public with it. Sometimes doing the hard thing is not driving yourself into the ground to be the perfect Christian mother. Sometimes the hard thing is admitting to the world that God’s version of your calling does not look like those around you or even what you expected it would be.

That’s what I wanted to write about today. Doing hard things. And why so many Christians seem to think that the only good things are the hard things and that if it is less hard or even (gasp!) easier it must be intrinsically evil and not of God.

Think I’m making this up? No.

Are Hard Things Always From God?

I just received a homeschool newsletter today in which one of the columnists said something to that effect. This person said (in the context of persevering in homeschooling when things are difficult) and I quote, “The good stuff is tough. The easy stuff isn’t good.”

I simply don’t agree with that.

Yes, there may be an element of truth to it, but I think it is a statement that has the potential to add burdens to people who don’t need it. Yes, the Bible teaches that those who follow Christ will suffer and that God disciplines those He loves. Yes, we can expect trials and tribulations in this world. I’m certainly not going to say that those things aren’t in the Scriptures. Of course we are going to go through hard and challenging times.

But I wonder how often we make things harder than God wants them to be.

How many of the hard things that Christians carry (especially women) were never put there by God, but they have strapped a rock-filled backpack to their spiritual life and they are going to carry it no matter what.

• Because if it is hard and killing me it has to be of God and it has to be good!
• God would never give me a break! God would never graciously give me a gift that was easily received and to be enjoyed. No way! Not me!
• God’s going to crush me into the ground and, even if it kills me, I’m going to keep on doing X, Y, and Z. Yes, it is hard and killing me, but that’s what the Christian life is about. If you aren’t suffering, you aren’t living for Christ!

Maybe no one would come right out and say it, but how many people think that way and are driven by those kinds of thoughts?

Taking The “Easy” Way Out?

I never expected to have an only child. I never expected to be 39 when I had a child and discover that my body was not designed to produce lots of babies. Some people would look at our decision to not pursue any more children for the sake of my health and think, “Wow.  How selfish. She sure took the easy way out.”

Easy? No, it was not easy on many levels.

Yes, it was easy in that God in His grace made it abundantly clear this was the best route for us. David has never doubted or wavered in this decision. I have had brief seconds of wavering, but I’ve never seriously doubted we made the right choice. But what some people would call taking the easy way out was not easy. It is hard to go against the popular flow of having at least two or three children. It is hard to have one child and know she will never have siblings.

What is easy for one person can be excruciatingly difficult for someone else. And we tread in dangerous places spiritually when we think we can judge someone else’s faith and walk with Christ based on whether they are making the same decisions we would.

I have no doubt that there are lazy Christians who need to be admonished to press on and persevere when the going gets tough. But I would like to suggest that perhaps when the going gets tough, we need to see if we have veered from our communion with Christ and are in fact making it tough because of our own choices, not the calling God has on our lives.

Perhaps we are more motivated by the fear of man than the fear of God.

Maybe instead of seeing God as a giant, oppressive drill sergeant just waiting to drop another boulder into our backpack for the long trek up the mountain, we should ask Him to open our eyes to where He longs to bring delight and joy and – dare I say it? – a measure of ease into our lives?

Maybe, just maybe, if our life is killing us and the true joy of the Lord is gone, it’s possible we’ve brought some of it on ourselves.

Are you ready to add more joy to your life each day? It’s something all of us need and it doesn’t have to be complicated. Sometimes it’s simply making a deliberate choice to choose joy in the moment.

I’ve assembled a list of 100 ways to add joy to your life. I hope you find many that enrich your life starting today.

• Hold a sleeping baby
• Put a flower in a jar near the kitchen sink
• Burn a votive candle while you prepare dinner
• Choose to live simply
• Leave a love note on someone’s pillow
• Treat yourself to a special take out item
• Bake your favorite dessert
• Re-read a favorite book from childhood
• Sing your favorite hymn out loud to God
• Reflect on what the Bible says about peace, understanding, and joy
• Watch cat videos on YouTube
• Drive down a natural beauty road
• Do something kind for someone with a chronic illness
• Sit by a fire
• Smile at strangers
• Relax and browse at a bookstore

• Use an alarm clock and wake up to hymns or Scripture
• Keep a gratitude journal
• Hold the door for someone
• Download a free cozy book for your Kindle
• Watch squirrels playing
• Read a cheerful book of poetry
• Buy some cozy slippers for fun and warmth
• Cook something special
• Read a Psalm

• Sleep in
• Watch a favorite movie
• Call a friend from long ago
• Buy a cup of coffee and browse an uplifting magazine
• Watch birds
• Choose to live a deliberate life
• Engage in a favorite hobby
• Spend time with an elderly person
• Watch dogs playing at a dog park

• Send a card to someone just because
• Read children’s picture books at the library
• Start a new hobby
• Say thank you and you’re welcome
• Put a happy picture on your phone’s lock screen
• Find a new cozy blog to read for inspiration
• Take a long bath or shower

• Get into a tickling game with a child
• Tell your husband how much you love him
• Embrace the cozy life in America
• Take a bag of groceries to a food bank
• Have a screen free morning, afternoon, evening, or day
• Choose not to worry about things you can’t control
• Discover the freedom of learning to say “no”
• Pet a cat
• Put on a favorite song from the past and dance around

• Watch the sun rise or set over a lake or ocean
• Clean out a drawer
• Make a lunch or coffee date with a friend
• Take a walk
• Snuggle with someone you love
• Eliminate emotional drainers
• Do something nice for a checkout clerk
• Make a list of blessings in your life
• Take a day trip

• Make cookies for the police or fire station
• Help a mom with little ones
• Buy something small you’ve wanted and don’t feel guilty about it
• Watch the leaves in the breeze
• Watch the snowflakes falling
• Take the time to look good
• Listen to the rain
• Put a birdfeeder in your yard

• Go to bed early
• Paint a room
• Make a favorite meal
• Make your bed with fresh sheets
• Eat a good breakfast
• Look your child in the eye and say, “I love you so much”
• Bless others by donating things you no longer need
• Drive the back roads and see something new
• Pay for the toll, coffee, or order of the person behind you in line
• Take control of your online usage
• Send a gift card to someone anonymously
• Do one thing you’ve been putting off for too long
• Find someone in need at your church and do something for him/her

• Compliment other people
• Slow down and stop rushing
• Do a brain dump to clear your mind
• Discover a wonderful cozy book
• Buy a pretty notepad and use it
• Enjoy your favorite junk food
• See God in the beauty of nature
• Collect sea glass
• Eat a piece of pie

• Get a bird for a pet
• Splurge on a massage
• Paint your nails a pretty color
• Create a cozy life
• Surprise your child with a fun activity to do together
• Look at the stars