I’ve been thinking a lot the past year about my theological framework. Some of you may have noticed that I don’t write many theological posts. I regularly share Scripture. I write about how I apply my faith to various situations and decisions. But I haven’t gotten into theology in any significant way.
There’s been a reason for that and it’s fairly simple. Apart from a lack of time to write quality posts involving theology, David and I have never been fully settled into any one camp and so I was not going to write about things that felt unsettled.
We’ve been members of multiple churches during our marriage. We’ve never fully fit into any of them. Each time there was at least one major area where we had to compromise. We were always open about our differences with the doctrinal statement of each church where we became members so we never tried to hide anything. But it always felt like we were doing what we had to do to make the best of the most acceptable option available to us.
So we always had to squish down something that was important to us. Before we had Caroline we struggled to find a church where I would fit in. After Caroline was born, we had to find a church where I would fit in and would also work for Caroline’s sensory needs. Needless to say, we’ve never fit in anywhere all that well. There were a number of long stretches when we didn’t go anywhere on Sunday. Our current church is probably the best fit of all of them and we’re thankful for that. I would describe it as a moderately conservative country Baptist church. However, we are not in total doctrinal agreement with our current church. But it’s overall the best fit of probably all the churches where we’ve been members.
Because we’ve been in and out of so many different kinds of churches and denominations, I realized that I have residual junk lurking in my mind. Most of it is rooted in Calvinism and Reformed theology. My time on staff with InterVarsity had a lot of Reformed influence. Some of the pastors and teachers I’ve had were also Reformed leaning in various ways. David grew up Reformed. We’ve been members of two Christian Reformed (Calvinist) churches during our marriage.
But when it comes right down to it, neither one of us is Calvinistic in our theology. (We’re not Arminians either.) Yet I think the Calvinism lurks in ways that are unhealthy for me (and us). For me, running in Calvinistic and Reformed circles was depressing. That could be an entire post by itself. Of all the churches of various types we visited over the years, the most depressing one by far was a Reformed Baptist church. It was literally oppressive to be in the service. We went a couple of times to be fair to the church and even went to lunch at the home of one of the elders. It was so depressing and controlling. As an introvert and one who already thinks a lot, the last thing I needed was something like that.
We also knew that Calvinism wasn’t for us because we discerned it was not the best theological environment to raise Caroline. At one point we became members of a small CRC church near our home where we really liked the pastor. We even had Caroline baptized when she was a toddler so we could become members. That was a significant choice for me as a basically life-long Baptist. After we moved to Cute Little Town, we attended a different CRC church off and on as we tried to sort out what to do. She even went to GEMS there for a bit. In the end, the theology and service was just too much. We knew it would be a very bad fit for Caroline’s personality. So we ended up in the country Baptist church and it was definitely the right choice where she was concerned. I’m so thankful God led us away from Calvinistic theology. I shudder to think about what things might have been like if we had raised her in that theological framework. God graciously led us away from that.
So I’ve spent a lot of time in recent months identifying and naming the Calvinist things that I don’t agree with and why. It was like I had to look at each one and ask myself what I actually believed about it in order to formally reject it and put it behind me. It’s been good and liberating.
No, I’m not deconstructing my faith. Not even close. Just the opposite. I’m solidifying it in ways I haven’t had time to think about in recent years. There were several parts to it including deep dives into:
- the purpose and practice of the gathering of believers in the New Testament church
- how paganism influenced the church and the steps that led to it becoming an institution instead of a gathering of believers edifying each other
- the fact that the Reformers did not go nearly far enough in moving away from Rome and how that continues to be a problem today
- finding a theological structure for the book of Revelation that actually makes sense and is consistent with the whole of Scriptures
- observing what is going on with Reformed and Calvinist folks online and the impact this is having and will continue to have on women in the coming years (not good IMHO – another post coming on that)
It’s been a very good time of personal growth. I’ve toyed with the idea of posting a Christian video I’ve appreciated each day to share with my readers. I’ve watched countless good ones on a variety of theological topics. I’m thinking about that.
So that’s where I’ve been. Sometimes I haven’t blogged as much because I’ve been very busy and intentional with homeschooling the last couple of years. Sometimes it’s been due to reading and writing for my other website. And sometimes it’s because I’ve been working through my theology.
In the end, it’s all been very good. It boils down to the truth and reality that Jesus Christ is my Savior and Lord. That has never changed no matter which building I walked into on a given Sunday and what their doctrinal statement said. Jesus died for my sins. He rose from the dead and conquered death. He forgave my sins and changed me. He loves me and intercedes for me. The Holy Spirit guides me.
I am His and He is mine.
I pray He is your Savior, too.
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life. For God sent not his Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through him might be saved.
John 3:16-17




















