A Quiet Simple Life | Sallie Borrink

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:23

A Quiet Simple Life

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Sometimes I Really Resent the Whole Frugality, Couponing, Rebating, Multiple Transaction System


Lately I really resent having to play the frugal game. I resent having to waste valuable time clipping coupons, looking at ads, etc. I know I don’t HAVE to do it. It is something that I choose to do. But I resent the fact that if I don’t do it, I’m penalized.

Penalized, you say?

Yes, penalized. Let’s face it. Our grandmothers and great-grandmothers didn’t have to waste time stopping at two or three stores, Walgreens, CVS, etc. to pick up the loss leaders, watch the ads, and go to blogs or paid online services to find out the best place to combine this coupon with that special this week. They went to the store and bought what they wanted and what they could afford at the prices marked. Am I the only one who finds all of this hoop jumping just a little ridiculous when you really think about it?

If I don’t do those things, I am penalized. When people go to Walgreens and do some fantastic transaction that involves ringing up multiple items with coupons, rebates, earned dollar credit things and who knows what else, who do you think is paying for it? The corporation? I don’t think so. The corporation isn’t going to cut their profits because some mom in Michigan is making out like a bandit. Those savings come out of the pockets of everyone who doesn’t play the game and pays full price.

I know it is asking a lot, but wouldn’t it be easier if we all just got a fair price for the item in the first place? Should we really need to waste our precious life energy on things so stupid as couponing and rebating and whatever else is involved? Doesn’t anyone else resent this stupid system to we have to deal with?

I know why people play these games. It helps them stay home with their kids, it gives them money for other things, etc. I’m not saying they are bad people for playing the game and playing it very well in some cases. I’m just saying that I resent the fact that if I don’t play the game, I’m subsidizing someone else’s game playing.

On the other hand, when I do play the game, someone else is subsidizing me. And that bothers me, too.

Is it a Christ-like thing to do this? Would Christ buy ten tubes of toothpaste at once in five transactions so he could get ten dollars back in rebates and a five dollar gift card for some future purchase?

Does any of what I’m saying make sense to anyone else?

Category: 47 Comments

Wishing Paybacks On Your Children


Here’s a topic that’s been on my mind for a long time. I’ll throw this out here and see where the conversation goes. I want to state that this conversation should be in the context of Christianity because that is a large part of what I’m trying to reconcile in my mind.

We’re all familiar with the phrase “what goes around comes around.” It seems to me that there are some people who take special delight in seeing people’s children give them grief. Kind of the “you were like that as a child and now you are getting your payback.”

This has bothered me because it seems like there is something inherently wrong in wishing ill on someone else. I don’t know how else to describe this attitude. I’ve been around people who think it is extremely funny or rewarding or satisfying or something to see other people struggle with making their children behave, watching their children get into scrapes, etc. Now I understand that children are sinful creatures and are going to be naughty. I’m not expecting sinlessness out of any child. But to see people find it very satisfying to see others struggle with their children just bothers me.

I guess what bothers me (as best as I can articulate it right now) is that it seems completely the opposite of what I think would be a biblical attitude. Doesn’t it seem like each generation should be praying for and working towards families that are increasingly godly and raising up a generation of children who take walking with Christ to the next level?

I find it hard to believe that somehow I will rejoice and laugh if Caroline has a daughter who doesn’t sleep through the night for several months and consider this as “payback” for all the nights she kept us up. I would hope for her a baby that would sleep through the night starting with the first night home from the hospital! It is hard for me to imagine rejoicing in the fact that her children are giving her trouble so I can somehow feel better about myself or somehow feel vindicated.

That’s the best I can do in articulating what I’m thinking about. Maybe as the conversation gets flowing I can add more. Has anyone else experienced this? Does it bother you? What are your thoughts?

Category: 29 Comments

Should Bloggers Censor Reader Comments for the Sake of Biblical Accuracy?


I’m forty years old and I’ve experienced a lot of life in those forty years. And yet just when I think I’ve seen or heard it all, I discover (again) that I haven’t. I found something online a few days ago via some links that really took me aback. I had to walk away from the computer and start to process it because I was just so stunned by what I read.

I’m not going to link to what I read because my point in writing this post is not to develop an issue with any particular bloggers. If you know who I am talking about, please keep it to yourself. However, if you know who I am talking about and you think I have mischaracterized their viewpoint, please do indicate that. I am going to try to be as accurate as possible in describing their view for the sake of discussion here. I am intensely curious to know what people think of this.

A few bloggers have decided that they will censor readers’ comments if they feel the comments are not biblically accurate. They believe they will not only be held accountable to God for what they write on their blogs, but what others write as well. So if someone writes something in a comment that they feel is not biblical truth, they not only have the right but the responsibility to censor the comments. They will not edit them and make them say something different (which they say would be dishonest), but they will make it clear they have edited the comments in order to censor anything they feel is biblically inaccurate.

I’ve moved past my stunned disbelief and now would love to discuss this with whoever is interested.

I guess the thought I keep coming back to is that I would expect the world to silence Christians, but Christians silencing other Christians that they don’t agree with is very troubling to me. Am I missing something that would make this not only okay as Americans but required by the Word of God? If the apostle Paul had a blog, would he censor people’s comments to defend God’s truth or would he respond to them via reason and discussion? How would you feel if you left a comment here and I censored it because I felt it was not biblically accurate? (Trust me, I have no intention of starting!)

As I said, I’m intensely curious to hear what people think!

Category: 25 Comments

Why We Avoid Television Viewing


A few weeks ago, Susan left a comment after I linked to this article: To Raise Baby Einsteins, TLC Will Suffice. She said:

Hi Sallie-

This is an interesting comment because it dovetails with something else that I read on your blog the other day, and that I have been thinking about non-stop since then. When you were talking about the football game that you recently watched, you mentioned how you had to drag the TV set out of the closet, find the antena, set it up, etc, etc. Boy, that comment has had me thinking ever since. We have 5 children, from teenagers down to infant, and this TV thing has been a pretty constant source of struggle for our family. We’ve never had a problem, so far, with WHAT the kids watch, but we have had problems with how much they want to watch. And for the most part, it’s all pretty good stuff… they love to watch the History Channel, one son (who loves history and political science) loves to watch the political talk shows, etc. But I have struggled all summer with whether or not we should get rid of the TV completely, or just try and control it. I’d love it if you’d do a post on this topic. I am very curious as to why you and your husband are apparently not regualr TV watchers. Were you at one time? And if so, do you miss it now? One of my teen sons is affected a lot by the images and advertising he sees on some of the channels. We homeschool, but were he in public school, he is the one I think I’d have the most trouble with as far as peer pressure and wanting to fit in. At least, that’s what I think based on the way TV seems to influence him. Anyway, hope this sparks your interest enough to do a post on it!!
Susan

So here is my TV post as promised to Susan.

First off, I know how loaded a topic this is. If you even mention to some people that you don’t watch TV or have cable or what have you, they immediately become defensive. So I want to make it clear that I’m not writing this as prescriptive theology. I’m writing this as an overview of our practices, personal convictions, and preferences. I’m also going to be really frank about how strongly I feel about some of these things. If you disagree and don’t have the same convictions, that’s between you and God. Nobody who reads here answers to me. Each of us answers to God. But I am going to be direct about what I think.

We watch almost no network TV. Once in a blue moon we will watch a sporting event and that’s about it. We had only basic cable until April 2006 (I think) and we’ve had nothing since except an inexpensive antenna. Even with that we live in a river valley and get the worst reception of anywhere in the West Michigan area. So even if we do turn on the TV, it isn’t all that great to watch. We both have always watched TV regularly so this was a major change for us, although one that happened gradually.

We do have a VCR and DVD player. We also have a small inexpensive TV and DVD player in the basement that I use when I walk. So while I almost never watch TV, I do regularly watch DVDs while I walk on the treadmill. We have a small collection of favorite TV shows and movies that we enjoy watching over and over again.

So that’s where we are.

Our TV is in the closet for a couple of reasons. One, I hate the way most living spaces in homes are centered on and focus on the television, almost like it is some kind of altar. In many ways the TV has replaced the fireplace of old. People used to gather around the hearth to keep warm and enjoy each other’s company. Now they all sit like zombies and stare at an unreal and often profane world. Our goal is to have our rooms focus around fellowship and relationship, not “worshiping at the passive altar of entertainment” (as Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes called it).

The other reason the TV is in the closet is because like St. Augustine I understand this: “To many, total abstinence is easier than perfect moderation.” When the TV is out, it is too easy to flip in on and surf aimlessly to see what is on. I know what is on. Nothing. At least nothing that is more important or more edifying than other things in my life.

Which leads me to my next point. There are so many thing I would like to have time to do. This was true even before we had Caroline and now it is true times a thousand. Without even thinking I could come up with a list of more than twenty things I would like to have time to do. Most of them are far more edifying and creative than watching TV.

I know some people really like the home and garden shows, decorating shows, the cooking shows, etc. There is nothing necessarily wrong with them (unless they lead you to be dissatisfied with your own life). But I think it makes far more sense to actually DO something creative than spend time watching someone else being creative. I have enough creative material in my home (office, kitchen, etc.) to keep me busy for YEARS without needing to watch a show for more ideas.

Another reason we don’t watch television is I honestly have a hard time believing that Christ would spend much time watching it. The whole WWJD thing has been completely overdone and overcommercialized, but honestly… What would Jesus do? Would he watch CSI? Would He watch the absolutely graphic, gruesome and p*rn*gr*ph*c stuff that is on evening network TV? Twenty or thirty years ago this stuff would have been clearly rated R (or worse) for the theater. Now it is on network television every night and people think nothing of it. Where do you draw the line in terms of what is acceptable and what isn’t? I don’t know. But I do know that a lot of network TV has to cross the acceptable line for most, if not all, Christians.

Which leads me to my next reason: I don’t want to be desensitized. Several years ago, when we were first married, we didn’t watch any television for several months. This was before DVDs and we had very few VHS tapes so we didn’t watch anything at all. When we did turn it on or saw it other places, it literally made me queasy to watch it because of the speed and visual overload. I was no longer desensitized to it and it was literally overwhelming to watch it. Now because I do watch DVDs, I am not in the same place as I was when it comes to watching TV. The motion doesn’t get to me like it did at that time.

BUT I am still very sensitive to the content. Honestly, when we turn on the TV to watch a sporting event or some big news story (like Hurricane Katrina), just watching the commercials embarrasses, sickens, and/or horrifies me. Shows are no longer just about catching the bad guys. It is about titillation and voyeurism and just about every form of perversion known to man. I don’t want that stuff in my mind, even if it is just being exposed to the commercials.

Which is another reason: commercials. I don’t need to be reminded every day of what I don’t have or what someone thinks I need to have. The more TV I watch, the less satisfied I am with my own life and the material goods with which God has blessed me. Less TV = greater contentment.

And the last reason that comes to mind right now is that I want to set a good example for Caroline. She has zero, zilch, nada reason to watch TV. She does see glimpses of it at times and she has been in the room while we’ve had a DVD in or had a Tiger baseball game on. But that is very rare. We just don’t watch it while she is around. She does’t need to become attracted to it and there is no reason whatsoever she needs to watch “educational” shows. She’s got a daddy and a mama all day, a huge basket full of books, all kinds of creative toys, and a mother who is a former teacher who can’t wait to get going on the fun stuff with her! TV would be a poor and inferior replacement to all she can gain elsewhere with us.

One closing thought about spouses being on different pages regarding this issue. David and I were not on the same page about this in the beginning. I was ready to put the TV in the closet LONG before David was. At times it was a source of frustration for me, but this is his home too and my desire to pack it away didn’t necessarily trump his desire to keep it out. I don’t even remember when his perspective changed, but I do remember praying about it at times. We are on the same page now, but we weren’t at the beginning. So if you desire to make a change and your spouse doesn’t, I would suggest praying about it and doing whatever you can for yourself to make a change. But preaching about it and becoming contentious is not going to get you very far. I don’t have any words of wisdom for those who have older children and a spouse with different views. Perhaps someone else can share their experiences. But I do know that real change only comes through the conviction of the Holy Spirit so I would start on my knees whether it is for yourself or for your spouse.

I can honestly say that only a few times in the many months since we got rid of cable have I wished we’d had it. And I think in every case it was because I wished I could turn on a particular sporting event only available on expanded cable. Then when the event was over, it just didn’t matter any longer. Just as very few people will get to the end of their lives and wish they had spent more time at the office, I think very few people will wish they had spent more time watching TV. Life is just too full of wonderful opportunities to waste it.

And if those aren’t reasons enough, consider these:

How to Earn $1 Million by Not Watching TV

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

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