What would you do differently? Or what do you wish you could have done, but at the time were unable to do so?
We had a lovely wedding even though we were on a tight budget and tight timeframe. Overall I still like pretty much all of the choices we made. It was a joyous day. David’s grandmother said it was the happiest wedding she had ever been to.
I would have loved to have had a harpist and a string quartet. The only other thing I wish had been different was that someone would have taken a picture of our dessert buffet before everyone started. (We only had dessert for our reception.) By the time I saw it, it had been really worked over so I never saw it as it was presented. Everyone told me it was beautiful, but I wish I had seen it for myself.
Things I’m glad we spent money on… Professional video and professional photography. I’ve never regretted either.
So what would you do differently?
This is such a great question! I loved my wedding day for so many reasons, but my one regret is that we didn’t hire a videographer. We have lots of wonderful photos, but it would be nice to watch our ceremony again.
I was married at 21 and had never lived on my own except in the college dorms, so I lacked a lot of maturity that would have helped in making our wedding day better. But, really, I couldn’t have done *that* much differently, eh?
I do, however, wish I had understood better how the day is about much more than just the bride and groom, that it is also very much about their parents, too, at least when marrying as young adults. My relationship issues with my mom didn’t start at the wedding, but the day would have gone much more smoothly if I had realized how much the wedding was about her as the “mother of the bride” almost as much as it was about me. (*big sigh*)
That said, one thing I definitely would have done differently logistics-wise was the photography after the ceremony… we didn’t take charge like we should have, the photo-taking went on too long, and by the time we got down to our reception, which was cake and punch in the fellowship hall, many of our guests had left. I was so disappointed!
I *am* glad that we kept the wedding relatively small (mostly by necessity due to lack of funds!)… a relative had encouraged me to put off the wedding for six months or so more so that I could work a second job, save up more money, and spend that money on a more expensive dress, etc. Woo-wee am I glad I didn’t take that advice!! I was much more interested in getting to the “being married” part than I was about the details of the wedding ceremony. :biggrin:
That question is so easy to answer… elope! I wanted to elope at the time but my husband wouldn’t let us. So, we had a church wedding and it was good. But I still would have rather romantically eloped.
Oh! I still have some big regrets about our wedding day! I would have made sure the videographer got her directions from me–she missed the turnoff because she was confused and missed the WHOLE WEDDING. All we have is video from the reception dinner and dance.
Also, I would have hired a different photographer. He took all the photos of my husband and I alone on one roll of film. That roll ended up damaged, and so we have NO professional photos of my husband and I alone.
And finally, I would have made sure we had more shade. Our outdoor reception got a bit toasty for some of the guests. It was something I didn’t expect
But I never regretted the classical guitarist we hired. It was the only instrument we had for the whole wedding. He even played for a while at the reception while we were taking those photos I mentioned that didn’t turn out. It was so peaceful and beautiful.
My biggest regret is that we were not true Christians. We were church attenders, but that’s it. We had a big, beautiful wedding that impressed everyone, but if I had it to do again, I would have a wedding where Christ was glorified in the ceremony and the reception.
I really enjoyed my wedding, and really would change very little. One thing I would have done differently is to buy a package of pictures rather than buying individuals later, since after 14 years we never got around to buying the 8 x 10s. I also really wish the flat iron had been invented! My hair is quite poofy in my pictures.
I loved our wedding, and still daydream about it! However, we didn’t get a videographer, and I wish we had. We have tons of great pictures, though.
My favorite part of our wedding was when we had two congregational hymns. There were 350 people at our ceremony, and when everyone stood up and sang with us … it was magnificent.
I’d elope in a heartbeat! The older I get the more I hate the whole wedding scene! I love marriage, and am all for a couple putting lots of planning and prep for actual marriage relationships, it’s just the whole public wedding display (whether large or small) that is turning me off on the whole wedding shebang thingy. Especially when there is one in the family. I seems to cut into the whole year’s free time – the parties, showers, shopping, practices, clothing prep, travel. I keep wishing all my relatives would be ‘elopers’ – but alas, it is not to be so 🙂
My wedding was the FIRST wedding I ever attended, which was really neat, but also made me a bit nervous! The one thing I regret slightly is that I didn’t make CERTAIN I went around and talked to EVERY guest.
After we were married, a new friend told me (in a pleased way) that she had made sure she talked to EVERY guest… I thought, uh oh. Nobody told me that! Did I? Did I miss somebody?? I DID go around and talk to people, and people came and talked to me…but feeling nervous and insecure about that little issue didn’t help!
Oh well. Overall, it was just what I wanted.
One happy thing: I really had my heart set on a SILK wedding dress. We couldn’t find one…so we bought ten yards of silk at $20 a yard and my mother made it for me! That was actually WAY cheaper than even the discounted wedding dresses I saw (that I disliked). We used a Folkways Victorian type pattern, and I loved it. She used my grandmother’s tatted lace… Really cool.
Our entire wedding cost about $1000 — that included photography, dress, food, church tips to people, etc. Pretty neat. Even when we were marrying, people were routinely spending $10,000! It didn’t make them any more married! We had lots of help from lots of friends, which made it special.
Fun question! In Jesus, Susan (mama to eight)
My husband and I were both 19 when we married in 1978.
The only thing I would really want to change?
I wish that then I better understood what is meant by a marriage covenant. I would have understood more of the ceremony.
Now when I’m at a wedding, I can ‘visualize’ the meaning in the ceremony.
We had a pretty nice wedding, at ages 19 and 20 right after our sophomore year of college. But these days, I think I would prefer it to be a very small family affair or else to elope.
One thing that was perfect was the wedding cake…all sorts of neat flavors although we didn’t get to try them all; would like to change that!
Cathy
I look back on my wedding day with fondness and great memories.
The only thing that I think I would do differently would have been to invite more old friends. My dad always said people invited us to weddings for the gifts, so I just kind of assumed that people felt that way–so I left out a few old family friends that were hurt by the exclusion. (I hadn’t seen them for years though.)
And the other thing is that I wish the reception could have been in a nicer place. We had it down in our church basement, and the walls were unfinished.
But we’re married, and those two little things don’t mean anything now!
I absolutely loved our wedding day and have few regrets about it. The 2 things I would change now are to hire a better videographer (we paid good money and he did a lousy job) and not forget to include the necessary family members at the photography session (my husband forgot to invite his Dad and his wife until half way throught the session). That did not go over well… OTherwise, it was a perfect day in June and it was fantastic.
There are 3 major things I would have changed:
1: Using a professional photographer. We had a friend take pictures, and while they were nice, they were not professional quality. I look at my sister’s wedding photos and am brought to tears – her photographer was soooooooo good!!!!!!!!
2. I was very “anal” when it came to equal numbers of attendants, and because of that we ended up not having any children in our wedding. (It would have been “uneven” involving the children that we wanted to involve. ***rolling eyes*** ) I very much regret that decision – there was one family of children in particular that I was very close with, and 3.5 years after our wedding one of the little girls was shot and killed in the Paducah, KY, school shooting. 🙁
3. COMFY SHOES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My shoes were pretty and all, but they were soooooooo uncomfortable, and I only wore them that one time.
Well, for one, I wouldn’t have thrown up in the parking lot! LOL!
Next, I probably would have had the bridesmaids buy their dresses. We had them made by a seamstress and they just didn’t turn out as nice as I’d hoped.
Lastly, I’d have planned for more people at the reception. We ran out of food, so my dh and I never got to eat any of it!
But overall, looking back, it was a wonderful time. I will always remember it as being one of the most special days of my life.
Sallie, how nice to see you back from the break with so many posts!
We had a lovely wedding last summer. The only thing I’d change: I’d organise myself better before. A rather ambitious bride (;D) I planned some very complicated decorations and of course had scarsely time to put everything together. So the last days as a miss, instead of talking with my mother and calmly settling the last touches etc. that I had visioned, I was running a round and a nervous wreck… Well things (=I…) calmed down and the wedding day was just perfect & beautiful.
We had a very simple wedding almost 23 years ago. We managed to spend just about $1000 on everything, including my dress, rings, tux. Dh designed our invitations, a friend had them printed as a wedding gift, another friend provided the flowers as a gift, cake was a gift, food for reception was a gift from the church, photographer was a gift. My dress was on a 90% clearance rack and needed very little alteration. Our biggest expense were our rings which were custom made.
One thing I would change was the photographer. We were poor college students and accepted her offer to take pictures. We figured she’d do a good job – since she was the school photographer. But we have very few acceptable pictures from that day. And some of the best ones were double exposed or the last on a roll of film…
One other change would be to have my attendants dresses made by the same person. One of the girls dresses looked so different to the other 2, if was obvious it wasn’t made by someone who knew what they were doing. I’d probably also get dresses that they could wear again.
Even though we spent only $1000, I sometimes think it was too much.
I cringe when I see so much $$ spent on 8 hours of one day in your life. I guess it’s like prom too – the kids spend so much money on that one night and within a few years it’s all forgotten and not really that important.
We married late in life (40ish) so we chose a small wedding at a lovely old Antebellum/Plantation home. We still had all the traditions (wedding dress, attendants, sit down meal, music) but it was small. The whole event was exactly what I expected, and better than my dreams. The only thing I would change would to have included more people.
Mrs. S. – We sang hymns as well – Holy, Holy, Holy and Praise to the Lord, the Almighty. When we had Caroline dedicated a few weeks ago we asked if the congregation could sing Praise to the Lord, the Almighty and explained that we had also sung that at our wedding. So we sang it just before the dedication. It meant a lot to us.
Re: video and photos… My thought was that those were the two things we would cherish in the years ahead. The flowers would die, the food would all be eaten(and for the most part forgotten), but being able to watch our video and our daughter being able to watch it when she is old enough to especially appreciate it seemed priceless to me. I would have cut a lot of other things before I would have cut those items. 🙂
I had only been in one wedding before mine so I knew almost nothing about planning a wedding. But you could tell which was more important to me because we spent a LOT of time on the ceremony planning (wording, etc.) and just enough to have a nice reception, but nothing that anyone would consider a fabulous party. The ceremony was what mattered the most to us. 🙂
I’d be more confident in my walk down the aisle.
I was young and shy when we got married, and frankly all the people watching us unnerved me. I felt like a kid faking the role of an adult and just waiting to get caught!
But years together change all that. If we were to do it over again today, I don’t think I’d see anyone there but him.
Funny you should ask. I actually have taken vows three times (with the same man) The first we were married in a civil ceremony. The second, on our tenth anniversary, we had our marriage in the church (with three of our children present) and the latest was on Valentine’s day at Mass, couples were asked torepeat their vows. If you have read the Nicholas Sparks book the wedding- That is what I would love to have- a real ceremony with ll the trimmings!