A Quiet Simple Life | Sallie Borrink

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:23

A Quiet Simple Life

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My Number One Rule Of Homemaking


There are endless books, magazines, blogs and websites out there that tell women how to “properly” do homemaking. For me, it boils down to one rule. It’s a simple homemaking rule, but profound once you routinely put it into practice.

My Homemaking Rule

Put it all away, every day.

This is the cardinal rule around our house. We don’t leave the house unless it is picked up. We don’t go to bed unless the house is picked up.

That isn’t to say that things don’t look a bit lived in at various points during the day. We do have a toddler, you know. We are teaching Caroline to put things away before she gets something else out, but it is a lesson in progress.

But when we get up in the morning, it is to a picked up house. When we come home from church or grocery shopping or running errands, it is to a picked up house.

A Picked Up House

Notice I didn’t say clean or immaculate or pristine. I don’t dust as often as I would like. I don’t vacuum as often as I would like. I don’t clean the bathrooms as often as I would like. I don’t wipe down the floors as often as I would like. I have small piles on my desk at times.

But the house gets picked up every day. The dishes get washed before we go to bed. Everything is put in its place. I can probably count on two hands (maybe one) the number of times we’ve broken this rule due to illness and such over the past thirteen years. And once you get in the habit of picking everything up every day, it becomes second nature.

So, that is my tip. Put it all away, every day.

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Show Your Child God’s World Is Fascinating


If I lived to be 100 and had endless freetime, there still would not be enough time to explore, research and do everything that I find interesting. There are too many books to read, instruments to play, places to visit, back roads to drive, and people to talk with. I find the world a fascinating place.

That is why Anna’s post about Homeschooling Heresies resonated with me. When I read her philosophy and see what she does with her children, it seems very real and alive to me. I especially appreciate this thought that is applicable whether someone homeschools or not:

Live an interested life. I cannot put this in bold enough face. You are interpreting the world to your child. Is it fascinating for you? Are you engaged in creating, in thinking, in knowing people? Do you make music, take pictures, cook, teach yourself to sew, hike someplace new, learn to fish, eat at a new restaurant, take the back way into town? Are you reading about the history of mental illness, repairing furniture, learning to oil paint? *Show* your child how interesting the world is, and they will love to learn.

We try to live this every day with Caroline. We are always looking for interesting things to show her, point out, and help her discover. Today she:

  • went to the doctor with me
  • petted a kitten
  • pondered the puffy clouds
  • listened to the thunder
  • cut flowers from the garden with Daddy
  • played with my calculator
  • watched the birds at the birdfeeder outside her bedroom window

We have already started demonstrating to her that there is so much to see in the world and so much to ponder. Even at two and a half, she is already very much engaged in looking at the world around her and discussing it.

I absolutely love this part of being a mommy. It’s so rewarding to show your child that the world is truly a fascinating place with practically endless opportunities to explore, learn, examine, and ponder.

Showing a child to see and contemplate the wonders of the world is one of the greatest gifts you can give your child.

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Life With Little Miss Peanut


I haven’t done a Caroline post in a long time so thought I would sneak a few pictures in and share a little bit about life with our 33 month old daughter.

Yes, 33 months!!! I know some of you have been reading here since before I was ever pregnant and wondered if I ever would be. My Little Miss Peanut is going to be three years old in just a few months.

We’ve noticed in the last few weeks that Caroline’s lost that toddler look and is looking more and more like a preschooler/little girl. I will admit to feeling very slight pangs of “where is my baby?” but for the most part I am totally fine with it. I am enjoying the toddler stage so much more than I thought I would. In fact, it has been almost the opposite of what I expected. I thought I would love the baby/infant stage and dreaded the toddler stage. I have enjoyed the toddler stage much more than I expected and found the baby stage less enjoyable than I would have thought. Go figure.

Caroline also recently hit a growth spurt in terms of her language. I was SO looking forward to when she would start talking enough to have conversations with us. I absolutely love it! I love not having to wonder what is going on in that little brain of hers. LOL! She is a little chatter box, has a huge vocabulary, and loves to learn. I absolutely LOVE having conversations and being able to “discuss” things with her.

Lately we have been dissecting Pride and Prejudice. No, I am not joking. I watched it several times when I was sick and she is enthralled with the dancing and Mr. Darcy. She ASKS to watch Mr. Darcy with me. She puts on her fancy dress up dresses and prances around during the dancing scenes. She knows about Mr. Bingley, knows Mr. Wickham is a bad man, and probably knows more about the culture of that time than I did when I was eighteen!  LOL!

So my “complaint”? I can hardly get her to wear anything but a dress. And not just any dress. She has four casual cotton dresses I bought last year on sale from Land’s End and saved for this year.  She doesn’t want to wear anything but those four dresses (unless it is the jumper Grandma S. made her (which is not summery and looks awful with white sandals) or one of her nicer dresses for church. The only time she will put something else on is if she is going outside to help in the yard or going outside to play. Then she’ll put on her “outside play clothes” (denim capris and a top or something like that) without any argument. But as soon as she comes in, she wants them OFF. She wants her dress back on NOW. She couldn’t even sit down to lunch the other day until we had changed her from her outside clothes to her dress she was so distraught about it.

Now on the one hand, I’m a total girly girl. I vastly prefer dresses and skirts myself. I never thought I’d be in a situation where I would wish I could get her out of dresses and into some jeans! Oh well. I’m glad she likes her dresses. I just try to keep them washed. Hopefully they won’t be in shreds by the end of the summer from such frequent use!

The pictures of her in her blue and white checked dress are from the Frederik Meijer Gardens earlier this week. While we were there I was reminded yet again of the fact that I am a Girl Mom. I was never designed to have boys. There were so many active little boys there in the Children’s Garden that it just made me stand back and think all over again how grateful I am for my girl! God bless you moms with boys! One of you out there is raising up a godly man for Caroline to fall in love with someday and I’m so thankful you are there to do it. I’m just glad you got the boy job and I got the girl job!

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Listening To What Your Child Is Really Saying


We recently went through a period when Caroline was acting out a lot. I had been physically unwell for a few weeks and was feeling awful. My mom was staying with us for the week to help out. Nothing was “normal” around here. Every mealtime became a battleground. Caroline would come completely unglued if her chair wasn’t in the exact right spot at the table or if we weren’t sitting exactly where she thought we should be. I was already feeling terrible and this happening at almost every meal was adding significantly to my stress.

Some people would say that Caroline needed a spanking. She needed to be whipped into submission. She needed to put a smile on that little face, say “Yes, Ma’am” and sit wherever we deemed fit. Some would go so far as to put her where she doesn’t want to be just to prove that we’re in charge and she has to obey us immediately.

(Can I just say that even typing those words makes me sick to my stomach?)

Looking For What My Child Is Trying To Tell Me

Thank God, literally and truly, that we were not inclined to handle it that way. Whether it was the Holy Spirit, my mothering instinct, or my better judgment, I don’t know. But I knew deep down inside that she wasn’t being naughty. She wasn’t defying us. She was acting out because her world was turned upside down. The normalcy she expects in life was not there. Her mother was not available to take care of her in normal ways.

It was completely unlike her to be like this. The only time she has a meltdown is when she is over-tired or over-stimulated. Normally she’s a happy, helpful, compliant child who only occasionally tests the boundaries in a normal toddler way.

Somehow we got through those couple of weeks. It was extremely stressful at times, but we tried to accommodate her as much as possible and give in when she insisted on things like the fact that our placemats HAD to be touching at the table.

In fact, it was the insistence that our placemats be touching that confirmed to me this was a control and security issue for her. She was frightened by the way things were and trying to keep some level of control in whatever way she could.

Listening To What She Can’t Say

I’m happy to say that in the past two weeks since I’ve been making steady progress at getting better and life has been mostly normal, we’ve not had any meltdowns. Last week we had an almost normal week and did normal out and about things. We went to church yesterday.

Caroline has been a very happy camper.

I shudder to think the damage we would have done if we had cracked down on her and insisted on “happy obedience” when she was acting out those few weeks. 

Caroline is just a little person who can hardly understand all the emotions racing around in her heart and mind. It was hard enough for me as an adult to deal with the emotions and stress of being ill. How much more for a little one who has barely begun to grasp her world and how it works?

So among the many things I’ve learned through this physical trial, I’m thankful to have this experience that reinforced the importance of listening to what my child is really saying. It is something I’ve always believed, but having the opportunity to put it into practice in a situation that was already difficult and stressful reminded me again of how important it is to back off from a situation and really try to understand what is being said.

Have you had an experience where you had to take a different approach to listening to your child in order to understand what he or she was really saying?

This post is part of my larger collection of essays on raising gifted and 2e children as a Christian parent.

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