A Quiet Simple Life | Sallie Borrink

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:23

A Quiet Simple Life

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Sallie Borrink

Denominational Perspectives Are Funny Things


Update 2026: We’ve gone through a lot since I wrote this. I’m leaving it here for historical perspective. We no longer consider ourselves Reformed.

Denominational perspectives are funny things. And by funny I don’t mean any disrespect. But we’ve had a couple of interesting experiences lately that I thought I would share. And please don’t be offended if you belong to one of these denominations because I’m merely sharing some interesting stories.

For those who don’t know, I’ve been a member of a number of different flavors of Baptist churches as well as a Christian Reformed (CRC) church. (If you aren’t familiar with the CRC, it is from a Dutch background and Grand Rapids is the CRC mecca. There are literally dozens of CRC churches in the area.) I have also attended at length an Evangelical Covenant church and have visited to consider PCA, Evangelical Free, Brethren, Reformed Baptist, Orthodox Presbyterian… Seems like there were others that escape me now. The point being that I’m not exactly tied to any one particular theological view although I’m definitely more Reformed than anything else. Caroline has been dedicated (Baptist) and baptized (CRC). We’ve chosen to not major on the minors in recent years.

Anyway.

We recently ran into a woman from a Baptist church where we were members a few years ago. We chatted for a bit and she asked where we were attending. We told her at such and such Christian Reformed Church. I could see her mind go into mental overdrive as she tried to figure out how we were at a CRC church. I mean, we were members of a Baptist church. And now CRC. She seriously was trying to fathom this because if you are Baptist in Grand Rapids you are definitely not CRC and vice versa. She smiled and said something like, “Oh.” And that was about the end of the conversation.

We also recently had a conversation with a few CRC members. When one of them mentioned that Caroline would be going to preschool soon, I said that at this point we were planning on homeschooling her for preschool. Complete. blank. look. Absolutely zero frame of reference. CRC churches are very, very big on Christian school. Almost all CRC families send their children to Christian school. Homeschooling is really not on the radar and homeschooling preschool is just not even in their vocabulary.

Then there was the recent experience I had while researching preschools. I found one that interested me that was operated by two Lutheran churches near us. But as I read the denominational information (Missouri Synod), I was basically informed that if we attended a service we would not be allowed to take communion because they have very strict views on not taking communion with anyone who doesn’t hold to their Exact. Same. View. So, I concluded, that they would be more than happy to educate my child (the website said you don’t have to be Lutheran to attend). But she would be second class as a member of a CRC church. And if we ever attended either of the churches associated with the school, we would be denied communion. Hmmm. The lifelong Baptist in me just couldn’t fathom denying a fellow believer communion. Decided not to pursue that option any longer.

There really is no point to this post other than to share some stories about how we continue to try to navigate the waters of various denominations and hope that we will someday find a place that truly feels like home.

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We Went To Church Today!!!


Yes, we really did. (If you don’t know the context of this entry, read here about the child who doesn’t want to go to church).

Not only did we go to church, Caroline skipped ahead of us toward the sanctuary once we were in the building. She did a great job of sitting through most of the service. She went willingly, happily, and peacefully the whole time.

Praise God!

On the down side, I don’t think we want to visit that church again. But we’re just so thrilled to have apparently seen a breakthrough with whatever was bothering her that the other is completely secondary.

Thanks to those who have prayed for us and her about this!

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Raising a Spirited Child and Feeling Like a Bad Mother


I was reading on a spirited child discussion board the other day about how many of these children wake up early no matter what time they go to bed. Caroline is this way. No matter what time she falls asleep, she is awake almost every morning between 6:00 and 6:30. Keeping her up later does not make a bit of difference. In fact, it makes it worse. Once in a great while she will sleep until 7:30 or even 8:00 and I seriously feel like I’ve had a vacation. (A few mothers also mentioned the not knowing if they are going to get Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde each morning. Um, yes, I get that too.)

Spirited Children and Falling Asleep

Some moms were mentioning that they also experience the “might fall asleep in ten minutes, might be awake for two hours” problem that we also have. I cannot count on her to fall asleep within a particular amount of time no matter how tired or not tired she is. We’ve tried every trick in the book. It doesn’t matter.

Right now she is so tired (probably overtired because it took her forever to fall asleep last night) and she’s still awake after being in bed an hour. And she isn’t just in there quiet. She’s talking to herself, her animals/dolls, and whatever she’s reading. Telling her to not talk doesn’t work because I honestly don’t even think she realizes she’s doing it 90% of the time.

Spirited Children and Bedtimes

By the end of the day, I just want her to go. to. sleep. My patience is at the end by the time we get her in bed. I’m tired of the constant chatter, I’m tired of being on, I usually still have work to do in the evening, and I just want some time to myself. I cannot begin to unwind and decompress until she is asleep.

David is fortunate in that he can sit down and just start working as soon as she is in bed, even if she isn’t asleep. I cannot do it. So when she is awake until 9:00 or later, I stay up later because I need at least three hours in the evening to recover and unwind. So then I stay up too late which makes it impossible to get up before her because skipping sleep doesn’t work. So I don’t get enough sleep and then I have to get up when she wakes up and start all over again.

We’ve analyzed this every which way and the simple answer is: There is no solution. And it frustrates me to no end that we can’t find a way to make this work better. I’m frustrated and tired of it.

I suppose some people will think I’m just selfish. Being a mother means having children around. Duh. I know that.

I’m just trying to figure out how my personality and her personality are both going to survive the next fourteen and a half years.

I don’t know what the answer is when it comes to raising a spirited child. I’m just venting this evening about something that’s been driving me nuts for a long time. I hate ending the evening on a negative note. I feel like a terrible mother when I’m short with her in the evening when it is time to go to bed or something happens to necessitate her getting out of bed. I know I need to keep praying that God will give me the ability to suffer long when the evenings drag on.

So what makes you feel like a bad mother?

I have a follow-up post to this one:
Getting Spirited Children to Sleep and Related Challenges.

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Making the Choice to Homeschool When You Are Burned Out


I recently read a blog entry written by a mother who confessed she was beginning to think that she was not cut out to homeschool her children. She had had several children in quick succession and was seriously burnt out physically and emotionally. There were many comments on her post, but one stood out to me.

The commenter was admonishing the mother to basically suck it up and homeschool. This person said (and I think this is pretty close to the exact quote): “This isn’t about you. It’s about your child.”

I’ve thought about that comment for days. Mostly because I don’t agree with it.

It isn’t JUST about the children. Nothing in a family should be JUST about the children. The choice of schooling should be about the family. The children. The marriage. The father. The mother. It is a decision that effects everyone. To boil the question down to only what is good for the child… I don’t agree.

What a terrible burden to place on someone – to tell her that she basically has no choice and she is a selfish woman for being limited by her physical and emotional exhaustion.

Agree? Disagree? What would you tell someone in this position? Does the need of a child override everything in a family, including the health of the marriage or the mother and father?

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