• Skip to main content
  • Skip to after header navigation
  • Skip to site footer
  • Start Here
  • The Shop
    • The Lifetime Shopping Pass
    • Explore The Shop
    • Digital Products Terms of Use
    • Your Account Details
      • View Your Orders
      • Go To Your Downloads
      • My Account
    • Lost Password Help
  • Recent Comments
  • Tags
  • Donate
  • Subscribe
A Quiet Simple Life

A Quiet Simple Life

Sallie Schaaf Borrink

  • Audio Playlists
  • Beauty & Culture
    • Movies & Films
    • Old-Fashioned Blogging
    • Printable Poetry
    • Quote Collections
  • Bible & Devotionals
    • Morning Hope
    • Eventide Blessing
    • Streams in the Desert
  • Books
    • Book Lists for Adults
    • Book Lists for Children
    • Chapter Books for Children
    • Free Ebooks
    • Picture Books for Children
  • Christian Faith
    • Christian Faith
    • Faithful Christian Living In Difficult Times
    • From My Bible Notes
    • Journaling
    • Marriage
    • Prayer
  • Gifted & 2e
    • Gifted & 2e Homeschooling
    • Gifted & 2e Parenting For Christians
    • Gifted & 2e Women
  • Gracious Christian Parenting
  • Holidays
    • Thanksgiving
    • Christmas
    • It’s a Girl! Day
  • Homemaking
    • Homemaking
    • Homemaking – The Prudent & Prepared Homemaker
    • Comfort Food Recipes
    • Health
  • Homeschooling
    • Choosing to Homeschool
    • Creative Children
    • Curriculum Reviews
    • Discipleship Homeschooling
    • Elementary School
    • Encouragement for Moms
    • High School
    • Middle School
    • Our Curriculum Choices
    • Our Learning Room & Supplies
    • Planning
    • Preschoolers
    • Products from My Shop
    • Relaxed Homeschooling
    • Right Brained Learners
  • Homeschooling with Cozy Books
  • Linux
  • Our Cozy Family Life
    • In Our Cozy Home This Week
    • My Pregnancy & Baby Stories
    • Guest Columnist – David
  • Simple Living
    • Simple Living
    • Big Tech & Social Media
    • Home-Based Business
  • Unit Studies
    • Unit Studies
    • Unit Study Ideas
You are here: Home / Gifted & Twice-Exceptional (2e) - Parenting For Christians / Why I Don’t Worry About My Picky Eater

Post may contain affiliate links. Read my disclosure statement.

Why I Don’t Worry About My Picky Eater

Friday, April 10, 2015 by Sallie Borrink
2 Comments
131   
14
Shares
Print Friendly, PDF & Email

We have two picky eaters in our home. My daughter is a picky eater. I’m the other one. Because I’ve always been very particular about food, it makes it much easier to accept my daughter’s eating preferences. And she has had them from very early on.

Raising A Picky Eater

I remember one day when my in-laws were visiting  and Caroline was less than a year old. I had lined up four little bowls of various kinds of baby foods on the table, each with its own spoon. Caroline pointed to each one that she wanted, when she wanted it, and in the order she wanted it. David’s mom remarked that she had never seen a baby do that before.

The child knows her own mind. And she has from the womb.

I will say that Caroline has always been a good eater. She eats a variety of foods (although not many vegetables once we got off baby food). Eating a good variety was good enough for me (and our pediatrician). She eats meats, fruits, grains, dairy products, etc. so I make sure she has a variety of things she does like. But she does have a rather lengthy list of things that shall not pass her lips (as do I).

Thankfully around the time Caroline turned eight, she started asking out of the blue to try different foods. I’m not sure what changed, but something did. Sometimes she discovers something she really likes and other times she spits it out. But she’s trying and we always affirm the fact that she tried a new food.

If you aren’t a picky eater, it might be hard to understand why your child has such strong opinions about food. It would be easy to turn it into a power struggle instead of stepping back and really assessing why your child is reacting the way she is. So as a picky eater, here are things I would encourage the parents of picky eaters to consider.

Why I Don’t Micromanage My Picky Eater

“No” Means “No”

We have a very strong rule about “no” in our house. If someone says “no” or “stop” then we immediately respect that whether it is during tickling, playing chase or buying clothes. This includes food. If we offer Caroline something to eat and she says, “No, thank you” then we immediately drop it. We don’t try to cajole her or guilt her into eating something. And we definitely do not command her that she has to eat one bite of everything.

Do you want someone to harass you after you tell them “no?”

Is this hard sometimes? Yes. Sometimes I have had to bite my tongue. But given my own aversion to certain foods that I could not eat even to be polite in someone’s home, I’m not going to be a hypocrite and push her to eat something she doesn’t want.

I also want Caroline to grow up knowing that she has a right and responsibility to tell others “No” and expect them to honor that. If I want my adult child to know the power of saying “No” when someone tries to push her to do something she doesn’t want to do, it starts by giving her control over parts of her life when she is younger. In our home, this includes food.

Food Aversions Are Real

I have always had a strong aversion to many foods including fresh tomatoes. They are simply vile to me. It wasn’t until many years later that I realized that oral allergy syndrome is the reason. Raw tomatoes feel awful in my mouth and make me feel sick after eating them. Yet I can’t tell you how many times in my life people have pushed me to eat raw tomatoes, looked at me like I was weird when I didn’t want raw tomatoes, etc.

Sometimes little ones cannot articulate why they don’t like a food. It is possible they don’t like the way it makes them feel when they eat it, but they can’t fully express it to you. With the oral allergy syndrome there are no external physical symptoms like there are with an allergic reaction. It is all in the mouth and not visible.

Don’t be too quick to brush off your child’s aversion to certain foods. There may truly be a biological reason for it.

Let Children Determine If They Are Full

I have seen people boast that they have trained their children to eat whatever they put in front of them. I know there are people who insist that their children eat every bite on their plate when the child has had no say as to the food or the amount put on the plate.

We don’t do that.

Sometimes I will encourage Caroline to eat another bite or two if I think she’s just in a hurry to get back to playing instead of eating. If she asks for ice cream for dessert, but hasn’t finished her tuna, I will ask her to eat a few more spoonfuls of the tuna first. But for the most part, if she says she’s full then we accept that.

There is NO virtue in eating everything on your plate if you are already full. (As a Christian, I would call that gluttony.) If we constantly push our children to eat past the satiation point, we are teaching them to ignore the powerful and clear signals their brain is giving them. We should WANT them to learn to listen to their brain to know when they are full.

If parents are constantly overriding their child’s natural signals in an effort to control their child, then they are missing out on a crucial learning experience.

Choose Your Battles Carefully

One of my parenting mantras is that I choose my battles very carefully. I will ask myself if this is a hill I’m willing to die on. I save the hill dying for what I think is very important. Food is not a hill I’m willing to die on.

I’m not willing to turn mealtime into a battle of wits. It’s not good for anyone to eat while upset. Mealtime should be relaxing and an opportunity to enjoy being together.

Do I really want to invest my parenting capital into bullying/manipulating/guilting my child into eating something she doesn’t want?

No. Way.

There are other things that are going to matter far more to me than if my child wants to try carrots or scalloped potatoes tonight. I am saving my parenting capital for when there is something truly important at stake. In the grand scheme of things, having a picky eater is the least of my worries on this parenting journey.

You know how I know? I’m a picky eater and I’m doing just fine.

And so will your child.

Helpful Resources In My Shop

  • The Lifetime Shopping Pass
    The Lifetime Shopping Pass
    $97.00
  • Why Differently Wired Children Need a Simple Life
    Why Differently Wired Children Need a Simple Life
    $2.00
  • A Quiet Simple Life Planner & Guidebook (January 2022 - December 2023)
    A Quiet Simple Life Planner & Guidebook (January 2022 – December 2023)
    $8.95
  • Parenting Your Differently-Wired Child
    Parenting Your Differently-Wired Child
    $3.00
  • The Freedom of Learning to Say "No"
    The Freedom of Learning to Say “No”
    $3.00

Category: Gifted & Twice-Exceptional (2e) - Parenting For Christians | Gracious Christian Parenting
 

More Related Articles

Giftedness, Loneliness, and Faith – Christy’s Story

Disciplining Gifted & 2e Children In The Christian Faith

Parents of Differently-Wired Kids Share Their Wisdom

Children Who Struggle With Church – An Update

Previous Post:Occupational Therapy For Dysgraphia Or Writing Problems
Next Post:Raising Gifted Children In The Christian Faith

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Peggy

    Wednesday, April 15, 2015 at 1:14 pm

    We also don’t make a big deal about what or how much to eat…except for trying to get them to take reasonably-sized portions so that there is enough for everyone! The control that I exercise over food mostly happens at the grocery store while I’m shopping.

    Reply
  2. Dianna@ The Kennedy Adventures

    Sunday, February 28, 2016 at 11:55 am

    I came over to read this, because I have a super picky eater, and I was one myself too.
    I had to laugh at the comment about tomatoes. Who in the world says we have to eat everything that is offered? My MIL drives me a little bananas ..
    MIL – Want some zucchini?
    Me- No
    MIL – OH, it’s from the garden.
    Me – No thank you
    MIL – It’s REALLY good! You should try it.
    Me – NO THANK YOU — and then MIL looks at me like I’m nutso. 😉

    I had NEVER heard of oral allergy syndrome …. and guess what? It affects ME, and my picky eater son. His mouth breaks out with kiwi, while I can have trouble with watermelon and pineapple, if I eat too much. I was unaware it was connected with pollen … and we have many of those allergies as well.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

 

Thank you for your comment. I read and appreciate each one even if I am unable to respond.

Sidebar

I’m Sallie Schaaf Borrink, a Christian wife, mother, and homeschooler. Welcome to my cozy corner of the world. Our little family lives a quiet simple life of home education, self-employment, and laughter. I share what I've learned to help others navigate this world with truth and beauty. Please start here. ♥ 

Blog Categories

Categories in My Printables Shop

Support This Site – My Affiliate Links

If you use these links when you shop, I receive a small commission at no additional cost to you. Thank you!

  • Amazon - My Recommendations Storefront 
  • 7 Sisters Homeschool  
  • All About Learning Press
  • Answers in Genesis
  • Beautiful Feet Books
  • College Prep Science
  • Creation Crate
  • Deposit Photos 
  • Dover Publications
  • Homeschool in the Woods
  • The Hungry JPEG 
  • The Master and His Apprentices (Christian high school art history - We loved it!)
  • Pilgrim Institute (Providential American History)
  • Schoolhouse Teachers (Affordable homeschool curriculum for the entire family) & The Old Schoolhouse Magazine 
  • The Shop at Sullivan (Anne of Green Gables & more!)
  • Thrift Books 

New Post Notifications (Does Not Include My Newsletter)

Receive new post notifications from A Quiet Simple Life

Powered by follow.it

Your Shopping Cart

Popular Posts Today

  • Why I Reject Minimalism and Embrace My Cozy Living History SIMPLEWhy I Reject Minimalism
  • Free Printable Christmas Advent Calendar Pin 2Free Printable Christmas Advent Calendar
  • The Ultimate List of AIP Comfort Food Recipes 2The Ultimate List of AIP Comfort Food Recipes
  • The Cozy Life in America and Why I Prefer It To the Danish Hygge SIMPLE2The Cozy Life In America (and Why I Prefer It To the Danish Hygge)
  • Cozy Blogs I’m Reading SIMPLECozy Blogs I’m Reading
  • Fireside Chat No. 5 SIMPLEFireside Chat No. 5
  • Occupational Therapy for Dysgraphia or Writing Problems SIMPLEOccupational Therapy For Dysgraphia Or Writing Problems
  • The Ginghams Paper Dolls (Free) SIMPLEThe Ginghams Paper Dolls (Free!)
  • Why We’re Relaxed Homeschoolers and Not Unschoolers SIMPLEWhy We’re Relaxed Homeschoolers (and Not Unschoolers)
  • Homeschooling with Cozy Books SIMPLEHomeschooling with Cozy Books

Learning With Themes & Unit Studies

Sallie’s Rebuilding America

As in the Days of Noah, Genesis 6 – Chuck Missler
Saturday, December 2, 2023
The Book of Enoch
Saturday, December 2, 2023
The Great Taking – Free PDF
Saturday, December 2, 2023
Dr. Rosaria Butterfield at Liberty University
Saturday, December 2, 2023
Weaponization of Federal Government – Taibbi and Shellenberger
Saturday, December 2, 2023
There Are Also Fake Influencers
Tuesday, November 28, 2023
Sports Illustrated, The Street Caught With AI Generated Material and Fake Writers
Tuesday, November 28, 2023

For the Love of Pansies

Click to visit my other website

My Blogroll

  • Adventures In Keeping House
  • The Blessed Hearth
  • The Bluebirds Are Nesting On The Farm
  • By Sun and Candlelight 
  • The Charm of Home 
  • Coffee Tea Books and Me
  • Creekside Cottage
  • Elefantz
  • Exquisitely Unremarkable
  • Generations Before Us
  • Heavenstretch
  • Homemakers Thoughts
  • Hope and Thrift 
  • A Housewife Writes
  • Jane Austen's World
  • The Legacy of Home
  • Like Mother, Like Daughter
  • Love My Life
  • Mama's Learning Corner
  • The 1940s Experiment
  • Rural Revolution
  • Something From Almost Nothing
  • Strangers and Pilgrims on Earth
  • Stories of an Unschooling Family
  • Sugar Pie Cottage
  • Thinking About Home
  • A Working Pantry 

Blogging Is Better With Blinkies!

Archives

Lifetime Visits

17739232

Contact Me • Privacy Policy • Disclaimers & Affiliates

Copyright © 2005–2023 · A Quiet Simple Life · All Rights Reserved · Powered by Mai Theme

Scroll Up