Lately I really resent having to play the frugal game. I resent having to waste valuable time clipping coupons, looking at ads, etc. I know I don’t HAVE to do it. It is something that I choose to do. But I resent the fact that if I don’t do it, I’m penalized.
Penalized, you say?
Yes, penalized. Let’s face it. Our grandmothers and great-grandmothers didn’t have to waste time stopping at two or three stores, Walgreens, CVS, etc. to pick up the loss leaders, watch the ads, and go to blogs or paid online services to find out the best place to combine this coupon with that special this week. They went to the store and bought what they wanted and what they could afford at the prices marked. Am I the only one who finds all of this hoop jumping just a little ridiculous when you really think about it?
If I don’t do those things, I am penalized. When people go to Walgreens and do some fantastic transaction that involves ringing up multiple items with coupons, rebates, earned dollar credit things and who knows what else, who do you think is paying for it? The corporation? I don’t think so. The corporation isn’t going to cut their profits because some mom in Michigan is making out like a bandit. Those savings come out of the pockets of everyone who doesn’t play the game and pays full price.
I know it is asking a lot, but wouldn’t it be easier if we all just got a fair price for the item in the first place? Should we really need to waste our precious life energy on things so stupid as couponing and rebating and whatever else is involved? Doesn’t anyone else resent this stupid system to we have to deal with?
I know why people play these games. It helps them stay home with their kids, it gives them money for other things, etc. I’m not saying they are bad people for playing the game and playing it very well in some cases. I’m just saying that I resent the fact that if I don’t play the game, I’m subsidizing someone else’s game playing.
On the other hand, when I do play the game, someone else is subsidizing me. And that bothers me, too.
Is it a Christ-like thing to do this? Would Christ buy ten tubes of toothpaste at once in five transactions so he could get ten dollars back in rebates and a five dollar gift card for some future purchase?
Does any of what I’m saying make sense to anyone else?
Wishing Paybacks On Your Children
I just wanted to add to the conversation on sales. I don’t know about big businesses, but small businesses often run sales to keep the cash flowing. Even if they break even, it puts money in the bank to pay the next round of bills coming up. Ideally, it would be nice if every customer could pay full price. But the big, corporate companies have set peoples minds to think that there should always be a sale. Small businesses can’t afford to run sales like that. But they do need the customers to keep coming in regularly and the any amount of cash to keep flowing in. Discounting stuff does help to do that.
I work in a small, privately owned quilt shop and the business is about staying afloat, not about making loads of money.
What you’re saying does make sense, to a certain extent…
Does it irritate me to no end that manufacturers are marking things up, then issuing coupons so the prices of their products are more reasonable? Yes…it does.
Does it bother me that people assume if you coupon, you’re only feeding your family “junk”? You betcha. (But hey, not everyone grinds their own wheat, makes their own bread, yada yada. I save that for the bakery at the grocery store. They do a MUCH better job.:) )
Does it even bug me sometimes that I have to clip coupons and sort them….oh yeah. I hate it sometimes. 🙁
But…I enjoy couponing for the most part. I like to imagine myself as a “Robin Hood” of sorts – stealing from the rich to benefit the poor. I use my coupon/rebate smarts to get multiple items – one or two for my family, and then another 8 to the local Love Incorporated. If the big companies want to play games, it’s on! 🙂 That’s what I think Jesus would do. I’m not of the “stock up and sell it at a yard sale” mentality…I’m of the “Give to those who need it” mentality. 🙂
And for the record? Yes, I REALLY resent having to go to more than one grocery store. But I do because one is Aldi, and one has a butcher case. *sigh* That’s just how it is….
I think it’s fair if you pull back and look at it. People who are desperate enough and have time enough to coupon, stock up, go store to store etc. can do it and help themselves out. If it’s not worth it to you, then you probably don’t need the savings!
You say that you are penalized for not “playing the game.”
But I really think it is more correct to say that those who do coupon are rewarded for learning the system.
Only a tiny fraction of all the coupons printed are ever redeemed.
I’m surprised to see from these comments that many others (like me) don’t do coupons. When we were first married, I clipped coupons because I thought it was “the thing to do.” But, frankly, I couldn’t stand keeping track of all those coupons, ads, sales, etc. I really don’t think I’m “missing out,” because I made a conscious decision to stop “playing the game” for mental health reasons… it truly stressed me out and took time I wasn’t willing to give. I have four kids, stay home full time, my husband is in seminary and works part-time… and we’re able to make it work (b-a-r-e-l-y) in spite of not playing the game. In fact, I find many times that buying store brands or looking for the cheapest brand on the shelf during a shopping trip is not only less time consuming but often cheaper than couponing, etc. *Unless it’s buying that Great Northern bath tissue my dh prefers!*
My neighbor, who also stays home full time with four kids, plays the game. I think she really enjoys it, and I think truly playing the game to its fullest extent allows her to put her kids in some activities that she wouldn’t otherwise be able to afford. When this thought occurred to me, I began the “I should do that, too, then” thinking. But then we’re back to what someone above referred to as “the bottom line” … it being all about choices… I’m not willing to make the time and stress sacrifices in order to “play the game” hard enough to make it worth my while.
You shouldn’t feel bad bringing up the topic, Sallie. Maybe this is one of those issues that some people feel competitive, guilty, or judgmental about? … It’s never occurred to me to look down on someone who uses coupons because it means they’re feeding their kids junky convenience foods. When I start feeling competitive, guilty, or judgmental about some issue, I try to remember a saying I heard a few years ago, about being careful to not “tend in someone else’s garden” instead of my own… ha ha! Speaking of which, I should be in *bed*, not commenting on coupons!
Hi Sallie-
I am a long time reader and will continue to be. However, I still fail to seem why sales and coupons have generated such a negative response/blog from you. I don’t think you should just write happy, upbeat posts either. I was just surprised at how appeared through what you had written.
Just because you “don’t play the game” because of lack of interest, time, ect. doesn’t mean that you should complain about the game. Different people are good at different things.
I still say it’s like whining because “the early bird got the worm…”
Blessings,
Lacey
One quick comment before breakfast… Although people might not believe it, there was no whine in my attitude when I wrote this and I have nothing against people who do this stuff. Good grief! My Favorite Reads blogroll in my sidebar is full of people who do this stuff. If I disliked them or wished evil on them I certainly wouldn’t promote their blogs!
I knew some people would feel passionately about this topic on both sides. And this is fine. My point in bringing it up was to raise awareness that nothing is free! Someone, somewhere is paying for our great deal. Whether it is lower wages, jobs shipped to India, higher prices on other products, corporate downsizing, etc. that money has to come from somewhere. Why did my husband lose his job in 2001? Because he didn’t do a good job? No, he was an excellent, long-term employee. It was corporate restructuring to try to make a buck go further so Meijer could compete with WalMart. Nothing is free. It all costs something.
Someone correct me if I’m wrong (seriously!), but it is a zero sum game because businesses have to balance their ledgers. If someone is paying $0.75 for $50 worth of stuff, SOMEONE is paying for that stuff. Yes, as Meredith said, people who learn to play the game are being rewarded for doing so. She is absolutely right. But the business has to make it all work financially so where does that money come from?
If you got $50 worth of stuff from Walgreens for 25 cents, you would have to use manufacturers coupons. Walgreeens sends those to the manufacturer, who reimburses them for the amount of the coupon. The “free item” would be paid for by the store as well as the manufacturer, both of whom benefit because more than likely that same customer will shop at that store and buy things from that manufacturer in the future. Enough people do that it makes it worth their while.
For that deal you would also, more than likely, be using a rebate, more than likely receiving your rebate on a store card which doesn’t cost the store as much as rebating cash.
Jesus told the parable about the vineyard workers who agreed to work for a certain amount and then got upset because someone else was paid more. That doesn’t seem to jibe with your assessment of what he would do and think about this issue.
Ok, so I’m one of those “weirdos” who grinds her own locally-grown wheat berries and such. Our family does try to buy local as much as possible (we’re not in the best area of the country for it, but do our best). We definitely do not feed our children junk-food. But I have started using coupons just recently, thanks to the help on Biblical Womanhood, for items we DO use, such as shampoo, toothpaste, etc… . We tried washing our hair only with locally-made goat milk soap, but it just doesn’t cut it for me. So I figure if we’re buying those items anyway, why not get the best deal? As Jeana pointed out, Walgreen’s (or whichever merchant) sends those coupons in to the manufacturer and that is where they get their money from.
And no, I’m not someone with loads of extra time on my hands. We have three children (ages 14 months, 3 and 7) and a baby due in January. I homeschool the oldest and dh is military so is gone about every other year right now. But this is a productive “hobby”, so why not?
Going back to Sallie’s clarification in #32… doesn’t this assume that the store’s bottom line desired profit for an item is based on its MSRP-manufacturer’s suggested retail price? I’ve always shopped with the assumption that they really don’t intend to sell many of any one product at its MSRP. I don’t know much about business and economics, so perhaps your point just goes *w-a-y* over my head ;). But I don’t follow the logic that just because someone *does* pay the MSRP for a product, they have been robbed by the person who bought it on sale.
Maybe a personal “a-ha!” moment can explain my thoughts. I buy lotsa (i.e., too many?) books. I *rarely* buy them for retail. In fact, that Amy D. Tightwad Gazette book… a few years ago, I waited for *months* checking e-bay and half.com constantly until it came up for the price I was willing to pay. So I’m guessing I paid on the lower end of the spectrum for what that book has sold for. But my time cost put into that book was probably much higher than the average, too.
At the time, I really enjoyed the “e-bay” game. Today, I don’t spend nearly as much time on e-bay, and I would not spend the time waiting for the lowest dollar cost for as many books as I did a few years ago. And, sometimes, I buy a book for retail at Border’s because I don’t want to take the time to order it on sale or have it shipped to me. I don’t feel cheated, ripped off, or robbed when I do this, because I have made a conscious decision to forego the dollar investment to recoup the time investment. My mother-in-law, I’m guessing, pays retail quite often, but if you sat her down and pointed out how much more money she was spending than other people for the same products, I don’t think she’d feel robbed, either… she doesn’t have the time or inclination to play any grocery games, and I think she gets a lot of personal enjoyment and satisfaction out of “boutique shopping” or whatever she does, especially when she’s doing it for the people she loves. (Every time I roll my eyes at the prices she pays for some of our kids’ clothes, I try to remember this, and be grateful for her love, not judgmental of how much I used to tell myself she “wastes” on expensive kids’ clothes.)
I’d like to add a few more thoughts.
Comment #30 is spot on. For many of us women (and I’ll throw me in there too, once upon a time) it is a GAME. It is “cheap entertainment” with a pun very much intended. A great deal of frugal women enjoy playing the game very much so they continue doing it. Which is perfectly fine if you do enjoy it! For those of us, like me, who got tired of driving to 10 stores, keeping up witha coupon organizer the size of my pocketbook, arguing with cashiers that I did NOT steal coupons, print a million off the interenet illegally, etc, having managers “red flag” me for using too many coupons and having to override the system—-In a nutshell, I GOT SICK OF THE GAME. Period. End of story.
Like I said in my comment above, I’d rather spend $10 more a week and know I’ve supported local business and saved gas and time by not running around. This is just me, but I don’t mind the trade off. It might mean that for that week, we don’t get a box of Cocoa-Puffs, but hey I’m alot happier and the kids don’t even notice.
The older I get, the more I focus on CONTENTMENT. If something does not bring me contentment I don’t persue it. This includes the grocery game. If it does bring you contentment and you don’t mind doing it, I say all the better—as long as—which brings me back to another one of my points—
YOU DON”T FEED YOUR KIDS AND FAMILY JUNK. Tammy said above that you can find coupons for organic/good stuff. Yes, you can. And as the organic hype grows (it is a slick marketing tool if you don’t know what you’re buying organic and why!!!) there will be more and more products out there.
But here’s the deal. Yes, you can get organic gummy bears for $3.99 a box. And you might have a coupon for .99 off once in a blue moon, and you might be able to triple it at your store. So you bought the box for .99 when the stars aligned with the moon and the sale ads and stocked up. Great.
I’d rather just teach my kids to eat REAL FRUIT instead of gummy bears and buy a sack of apples from the local farmer for $5 because I’m a repeat customer and he knows I’m going to support him often. It does the farmer better and it does my kids better in the long run, EVERY SINGLE TIME.
AS for those organic gummy bears, yes, a good, maybe even great deal.
I’m just learning more and more that I’m a back-to-basics gal. I also remember that little proverb somebody taught me in school:
Good, better, best. Don’t let it rest—until your good is better, and your better is the best!
I go for the “best” things for my family, not just the good deals.
I realize this may come off as snotty or mean, and it isn’t my intention. But I think we all need to honestly ask ourselves WHY we feed our kids this stuff. Is it truly because it is good for them and us, or is it because it is a good deal???? Can you do better? Is there a better alternative out there?
Goodness, who would have thought this would be such a hot topic? Sallie – good post!
I use to play the game myself. Then, about 3 years ago, I stopped. Since we are empty nesters we rarely buy snacks, or pre-packaged food. Whatever baked goods or bread we want I either bake myself, or buy from an organic farmer’s market near us on Saturdays. Part of my personal decision was the price of gas, and time. We buy a lot of generic brands @ Sam’s, and cook the rest of our food from scratch with fresh foods from the Farmer’s Market or a local butcher. To me, saving $5.00 or $10.00 per week by spending 1 – 2 hours cutting coupons out of the Sunday paper, then spending gas $$ to drive to the different stores, just didn’t make sense to me any more. Until this posting, I haven’t really discussed it with the women in my church, nor neighborhood since it’s such a BIG deal here! Go figure.
Cathy as long as you enjoy it…
I never said I didn’t use a coupon. I do. I just don’t make it a big huge portion of my time to search out and do it to save .35 here and there. When it works and makes sense, I do it.
When it doesn’t, I pass up the “good deal” and move on. I don’t stockpile just to be doing it.
I don’t think the parable of the workers (Matthew 20:1–15) applies to this topic. As much as we can admire that Jesus talks about being gracious to the poor in this situation, the point of the story isn’t about how we should encourage re-distribution of wealth. The point of the parable is about how God’s grace gives salvation equally to those who receive it. It’s about the grace of God, not about how we are to run our businesses.
Jesus only used this story as a hypothetical situation in order to prove his point about how salvation is given.
As as someone else pointed out, we can be “rewarded” for situations, but that also means that somebody “loses”. Their isn’t an infinite money source out there. If you “pay Paul”, then you “rob Peter”. It all has to balance out, otherwise the shareholders aren’t happy and the stock price goes down.
In general, I’d like to add that having worked in retail for 20+ years in the stores and in advertising, I’ve seen plenty to know that retailers have to balance what they do to make a profit. When they give something away, they make up for it in other areas. They have to. And the point Sallie is making is this: someone is paying for it. They’re not benevolent social institutions, they’re businesses. I’ve seen plenty of attempts to make the customer think they’re getting an awesome deal when it’s just smoke and mirrors.
And it behooves us as Christian stewards to understand the games that companies play to part us with our money.
Hi Sallie-
I’m sorry that your husband lost his job, but in times where the economy is so bad, and people are just trying to do their best to feed their families I don’t think it is fair for you to assess that using coupons and such is un-christlike. You did ask “Is this what Christ would do” at the end of your initial blog post which lead me to believe that you felt that this was indeed a morality issue and other moms were out their taking advantage of you because they worked hard to save a few dollars.
I also don’t think it is fair for you to refer to coupons and being frugal as a game, or cheap entertainment. Because the military is paid so lously, providing food for my family is not a cheap thrill to me. I have to use the least amount of money possible so that I have money left over to also clothe my family. I’m sorry if you feel that you are paying for me doing this.
Blessings,
Lacey
Good grief!! C’mon people, don’t get so hot about this! I don’t think Sallie is trying to offend anyone. Remember, she’s got to get these ticked off posts in her inbox. A larger point is that she’s frustrated with the difficulty of making ends meet in our complicated global economy; am I right? I don’t coupon; I don’t think that those who do are evil, and neither does Sallie, from what I’m getting out of it. Let’s be sweet, y’all!
This is definitely a hot topic, and I seriously doubt Sallie is pointing fingers at anyone…she’s not calling anyone un-Christlike. She’s merely calling into question the motivations that the corporate giants and manufacturers have in issuing coupons and making fabulous sales to lure us into the store.
Personally, it isn’t an issue of frugality anymore. I’ve been thinking about this all morning – it is more of an issue of consumerism. As Lindsey said…”I get the BEST for my family.” I appreciate her desire to only serve her family what she deems best and appropriate. All of us want the same thing.
I’d LOVE to be able to feed Liam the whole, organic milk with cream on top from Fresh Market when he’s old enough. But fact of the matter is, I cannot afford, nor begin to justify, the $5 a bottle it is here where I live…and that isn’t even a gallon! I can get a gallon of 2% that is hormone free for 2.99. However, I CAN get my greens for just pennies more as organic, if I had the inclination and the motivation to buy organic. But fact of the matter? I don’t – my personal beliefs on organic food not only don’t fall in line with my grocery budget, they don’t fall in line with a few philosophical ones as well. 😉
David made a good point about smoke in mirrors – no one wants that. Those big companies AREN’T our friends – I find myself thinking this constantly when I am worrying about using too many coupons and rebates. They aren’t issuing those coupons to HELP me – they’re doing it to try and establish brand loyalty and suck me in. Whether someone doens’t mind paying full price, or if it gets your goat every time, we all have to realize that this IS a hot topic, and to keep it nice while we discuss it.
The only reason I coupon is this…my parents didn’t have a lot of money when they first got married. My mom told me that after their bills were paid every month, they had $40 left – for food and gas! They had two cars, and two mouths to feed (just themselves). She said that they could have bemoaned their circumstances, and ate a lot of cereal, or she could get creative. My grandma helped her put together a coupon box (which she still has. Kind of funny now… 😉 ), and she stretched the little bit of money she had for groceries. She said that her couponing and rebating habits just carried over once they had my brother and I. She cut coupons and hit the double coupons every week – we still had plenty of veggies and fruits to eat at every meal. She likes to say that couponing enabled her to get more GOOD food in us – we couldn’t have the Oreos she got for pennies if we hadn’t eaten the fruits and veggies that she prepared for us for the day.
So, there it is…we can bemoan how little some of us have every month, or we can make do with what we’re given. And while we’re at it, we can be a bit annoyed that big business is all about the bottom line. 🙁
Hi Sally,
I just thought I would tell youthat I was thinking about email you and asking if you knew any good coupon sites.
NO really I was………
*L* 🙂
Amie
Sallie, I apologize for not reading your words correctly. I did think you had said you resent the people you’re subsidizing when you don’t play the game.
When I re-read it, I didn’t see you use those actual words.
I was thinking again about this today. I think we/you are more directly subsidizing tax based programs and you’d have a better chance of changing that than the coupon/refund game.
I was able last week to get band-aids, toothpaste, and dish soap for less than the cost of the toothpaste at full retail. When my resources are so limited, I cannot feel badly about that. What a blessing it was to me to have the ability to purchase so many things I need for a few dollars.
My mom always said it’s your money or your time. If you don’t have time to hunt bargains you spend your money. If you don’t have money to pay full price you spend your time.
I “think” the is this Christ like question at the end of your post is what made the responses a little more intense.
I think using coupons and rebates can help me be a good steward.
There are a lot of things in this world that have made me angry and gotten under my skin. But I finally had to stop looking at the injustices and just look to Jesus. We have been studying Proverbs in our Bible study and it touched on God’s sovereignty. God has supreme authority over everything. He has made the world. He controls the times and the seasons. He has set up kings and authorities and he has removed them.
For whatever reasons, God has allowed these corporations to do business for a time. He has allowed coupons. He has allowed some to save money and others to spend money. He has given some many resources and others not many resources. In the end, He sees it all.
You could look at it this way… maybe I am not clipping coupons at the moment and you are. Then I am helping you to save money. Someday, the tables may turn and I will need your help to save me money. And you might be able to do that by paying full price on a product that I happen to need to purchase at a sale price.
In the end (now our Bible study is starting to study Ecclesiastes) it all is meaningless. What it all comes down to is how are our hearts? Am I grateful for what God has done in my life? Or am I going to grumble about my hardships. And believe me, I have done plenty of grumbling in my lifetime! But I am now being convicted often about whether or not I am fixing my eyes on Jesus and relying on him for all that I need and being grateful for what I have.
Just a few closing thoughts/replies and then I’m going to close the comments since I think enough has been said and then we can move on to other topics. (Paper towels anyone?)
Lacey (#40) – My question about whether something is Christlike was not a pronouncement. It was a question. Just like I recently asked if Christ would watch CSI. I don’t know the answer. I’m not Christ. But I do ask myself these questions and I raise them here because I think it makes us all step back and think. And I am in complete agreement with you that it is reprehensible the way this government wastes money and they pay their armed forces so poorly.
Ellen said:
Yes, you are exactly right.
Andrea said:
Yes, thank you!
Amie (#43) – No, I don’t but I’d be happy to post it as a question for you. Thanks for bringing a bit of levity to the discussion. 🙂
Lizzie – Thank you and I understand. I know that for some people coupons and such are a critical part of survival. I’m sorry if I caused anyone in those kinds of situations unnecessary pain.
Lizzie said:
After this I wouldn’t touch the topics of government entitlement programs, taxes and the redistribution of wealth with a twenty foot pole! We’ll just go back to toilet paper! LOL! But you are right.
Thanks to everyone for an interesting discussion. 🙂
I just wanted to say that I too am a faithful Walmart girl. It is by far the cheapest option in my little town I just go to one place for my groceries and I buy the storebrand most of the time. I successfully stay within a very small grocery budget each month by doing this and usually have some date money to spare at the end of the month too.