Patriarchy, Complementarianism, and Egalitarianism are all wrong for different reasons. Each one has glaring blind spots, inconsistencies, and/or ignores parts of Scripture.

The terms Mutuality and Complementarity Without Hierarchy are both better. But it’s exhausting to have to constantly explain to people why you reject the main terminology when everyone wants to immediately sort you into one of them. If absolutely pushed to pick one, I would pick Complementarity Without Hierarchy. I would not choose Mutuality because it is used by CBE International and I am not comfortable being associated with them.

I went with Conservative Biblical Egalitarian about nine years ago, but I have been reluctant to republish all my posts that use that terminology because I so strongly dislike the term Egalitarian. It was already toxic in conservative Christian circles in the 2011-2017 timeframe when I started writing about these things online. But I forced myself to use it in order to try to offer where my understanding was. After everything we’ve lived through the past several years? Egalitarian seems completely toxic to me now.

I wish there was a more pronounced movement within the body of Christ to sort this out because what we have at the moment doesn’t work. So much of what is believed and promoted by the three main camps is often more of a simplistic reaction against the parts of the culture they dislike or view as wrong than it is a careful exegesis of the Bible. This then leads the camps to do one of two things. Some move to extremes (way too conservative or way too liberal). The other ends up in the vague middle where the inconsistency of application alienates many people and forces them to feel they must either pick an increasingly unhealthy extreme in order to “fit in” or walk away.

I am one of those Christians who cannot embrace the groups that have become too extreme in either direction. And I cannot live in the aggravating mushy middle of inconsistencies. I know I am not alone in this.

So that is a little summary of my thinking about this issue based on both the current situation in the body of Christ and my past experiences and study. I do feel like the man in the meme. I currently reject the three main options for various biblical reasons and refuse to kowtow to anyone who demands I pick one.

Follow-up post: Your Ecclesiology Will Determine Your View of Women Functioning in the Church

Neither Complementarian nor Egalitarian: A Kingdom Corrective to the Evangelical Gender Debate