It’s summertime and that means everyone is busy making plans for the next school year. Homeschooling moms are looking at curriculum options and deciding what to buy. Optimism and anticipation will slowly rise over the coming weeks as new books and school supplies start filling up homes again.
But, truth be told, some moms are wondering if they even want to do this homeschool thing again. They have just finished up survived their first year and are struggling with a lot of emotions and experiences to process.
- They feel a little shell-shocked because it wasn’t what they expected. It wasn’t what they read about on all those perfect homeschool blogs and Instagram accounts.
- They aren’t sure that homeschooling is going to work for their family.
- They wonder if they should quit after the first year of homeschooling.
Do you relate to this?
Reasons People Quit After the First Year of Homeschooling
Why do people quit homeschooling? There are a number of reasons, but I think they generally fall into these groups.
- Less than enthusiastic kids
- Power struggles
- Overwhelm
- Learning difficulties
- Illness
- Money
- Or it might be a whole bunch of things
I think most homeschoolers have felt most of these at one time or another. I knew I wanted to homeschool before I had a child and yet there have been hours, days, and even weeks when I wished I could quit.
Even though I knew it was the best choice for my family and my child, I still didn’t want to do this any longer. At one point I even toured the local Christian school to see if it might be better for our daughter.
But we’ll be starting our fourth year in the fall and I’m glad we stuck with it.
So before you throw in the towel after one year, here are a few things to consider that might help you keep going.
1. It Takes Time to Deschool
If your children have been enrolled in school in the past, it takes time to undo the school mindset. Yes, it might even take a full year.
If you’ve had your children in traditional school for a few years and are now homeschooling, the first year should not be considered a “normal” year. You all are just starting to find your way free. It’s called deschooling and it’s very common.
Take this first year of homeschool and chalk it up to deschooling. Consider it prep time or boot camp for the real adventure.
2. Anything New Takes an Adjustment, Including Homeschooling
Whether it is a new job, a new church, a new city, marriage, or a baby, change always includes a period of adjustment. If you’ve gone from being just mom to mom and teacher, then it is going to take some adjustment for everyone.
It takes time to adjust to a new way of living. Homeschooling is a lifestyle. It takes time to figure out how to work everything into the day (home, meals, school, activities, etc.). No one figures it all out right away. Honest homeschooling moms will tell you that they are tweaking and adjusting every year as their family changes.
3. It Takes Time to Study Your Children and Figure Out What Makes Them Tick
One of the reasons so many people homeschool is the desire to give their child the education he/she needs. They realize that the traditional school route isn’t going to be optimal so they choose home education.
But knowing that your child won’t thrive in school and figuring out how he will thrive at home are two different things. It’s easier to recognize something that isn’t working. It’s a bit tougher to figure out what will work and how to make it happen.
I would guess that after spending a year at home with your children you know so much more about them. This is incredibly valuable information that will help you prepare more effectively for your second year. You will have a better idea of how they learn best, what kinds of materials work most effectively with them, etc.
Again, consider this preparation for the real adventure ahead.
4. Trial and Error Are a Part of Learning and Homeschooling
Just as we expect our children to try and fail as a part of the learning experience, so will we as homeschooling parents. I’ve purchased things that didn’t work. I’ve brought out activities I thought would go over well and were a dud. It’s part of the experience. It happens to all homeschooling parents. It’s part of the sunk cost of living life.
Accept that trial and error is part of being a homeschool parent. Use it as an opportunity to model failure to your children. Teach them how to reevaluate and learn from a mistake. Then move on to something else.
5. You’ve Already Invested Too Much to Walk Away Now
You have invested a lot of yourself into this first year. Your children have also invested into this first year (although they may not fully realize it). After putting so much time and energy into getting through the first year, you really owe it to yourself and your children to try one more year before you throw in the towel.
Take the time to figure out why you want to quit and brainstorm ways to overcome those issues.
- Do you need to rethink how you discipline? That is something you can work on changing over the summer before school starts.
- Do you have attitude problems in your home? Use the summer to work on that away from the formal learning environment so it isn’t necessarily associated with your homeschool time. (And to state the obvious, sending children with attitude problems to traditional school is not going to solve the attitude problem. You’re just giving the teacher the headache and then you still have to deal with them when they get home and are tired and cranky from being in school all day.)
- Do you need a different learning approach? Take the time to find realistic moms and learn from them. Maybe you want to use a certain curriculum or approach, but it really doesn’t fit with your children. (That’s my situation and why we are relaxed homeschoolers who homeschooled in the afternoon and not the morning.) Take the time to make the change for a fresh start.
Whatever the reason, look at all that you’ve invested so far in your homeschool pursuit and find a way to build on that investment.
Just One More Year
Homeschooling parents look at their commitment to homeschooling in a variety of ways. Some have an unshakable certainty that they will homeschool every child through high school. Some parents take it on a year by year, child by child basis. Others fall somewhere in the middle.
If you are feeling uncertain about homeschooling again next year, but still know deep down inside that you know the value of it for your family, tell yourself to think of just one more year.
Don’t put pressure on yourself to think beyond that. Just take it one year at a time. Expect that with some changes and adjustments that next year will be better.
And you know what? I bet the year after that will be even better.
I Can’t Homeschool Because I’m An Introvert
Whew. We just started our third year. The first was a shock. The second, utterly exhausting. Here’s to the third, “just one more year”. There are so many things that make it worth it n
Janette,
Thanks for your comment! I think every year throws us a different curve. I try to keep in mind the big overall picture during the hard days, weeks, and even months. I also remind myself that any other education choice for my daughter would have hard days, weeks and even months. And the benefits and joys of homeschooling outweigh the challenges.
I’m coming into my tenth year and homeschool three children (one more will be preschool age very soon). I am just getting into the high school years, which shook my confidence for a few months until I found Lee Binz’s resources.
We’ve been through me having two major knee surgeries, a devastating back injury that left me disabled and in serious chronic pain for a year, a very difficult pregnancy, my father having cancer, and job loss. It was really hard, but somehow we carried on through every crisis despite some saying I should give up homeschooling.
My biggest mistake as a new homeschool mom was trying to do *way too much* and exhausting myself plus frustrating my son who still needed a lot of free time to just play. As I became more confident and experienced I pared things down in the early years to reading, writing, math and a lot of good books and arts/crafts supplies. Kindergarten was at most 45 minutes of structured learning time in the morning. In the end my children all read above grade level and became amazing independent and self-motivated learners.
In many ways it gets easier as they get older! A lot of the bad attitude and discipline issues have faded away. They know school has to be done before they can pursue other interests during the day, so they wake up in the morning and get it done. I am now a tutor rather than a teacher. I can remember only one time my 13 year old son needed my help with math this year.
Outside of their formal school hours they are teaching themselves 3D modeling, computer animation, computer programming, arts and crafts, and my daughter is becoming a gifted vocalist and performer who loves to be on stage.
I usually don’t comment on blog posts, but wanted to leave this note in case it will encourage some other mothers out there who are feeling burned out and discouraged.
Thank you so much for this encouragement.
We are in our 6th year of homeschooling and I have to say that every year brings about different challenges. Some years run smoother than others. Life happens!
Looking back on our first year, I can remember thinking some of these same things you mentioned. I feel so blessed to be able to teach our kids and now look forward to the good and the …. not so good!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I hope anyone who needs encouragement after their first year of homeschool stumbles over to your blog.
This was what I needed to read today. I just barely survived our first year. Now I need to spend the summer recovering and prepping. This was WAY harder than I thought it’d be. I have four boys, so really, what did I expect? Oy!