When we met with our pediatrician, he recommended not taking Peanut out where there are a lot of people (mall, store, church, etc.) the first six weeks. I had vaguely heard something like this before, but have also seen a lot of people not practice this. For example, we’ve had a number of new babies in our church over the past six months, but they have all been in the service with their moms (not in the nursery) within literally a week or two of being born.
I’m sure the first couple of weeks I won’t be physically ready to even attempt church, but am wondering about not going for six weeks.
Just curious how other women handle this.
Choosing To Formula Feed
I wouldn’t take a formula-fed baby out for the first six weeks, no – they won’t have the immune system at all to deal with all of the germs that they’ll be encountering.
Another thing to consider is how overwhelming the baby will find various enviroments in the first six weeks, while you’re trying to get them used to the rythym of day and night – we even severely limit visitors for the first six weeks. I basically just spent that time in bed with them, nursing, bonding and watching a LOT of tv.
Personally, with my first baby, I didn’t take him to church until he was in his second month. He was born in January, and I was ultra sleep-deprived. I didn’t feel like going anywhere.
With my second, born 20 months after the first, I was SO READY to go out in public after having been on strict bedrest from week 25 until week 36. I took him to church when he was two weeks old, but I did not put him in the nursery. He stayed with me wherever I went. He usually slept pretty well through worship service, and if I needed to, I’d slip out of the service with him into a private place to nurse. (Our old church had a great nursing room where the service was piped in so moms could continue to listen in while they rocked their little ones.)
My advice would be to keep a mental check on if certain viruses are widespread in your area before you venture into too many public spaces. You can ask your pediatrician each time you go in if he/she has noticed any particular diseases or viruses being passed around. . . Trust me, docs know what’s rampant. One way to keep down germs and such is for you to keep baby in your possession instead of putting baby in nurseries. Don’t pass baby around, and explain why to friends so they won’t be so offended. And also, don’t use grocery or shopping carts. . . instead always use your travel system or stroller. (That way, you’re never touching all the grimey, germy cart handles, etc. while having to also deal with baby.) And just generally stay away from crowded areas.
Also, as much as I hate to say this. . . sometimes your own relatives are the world’s worst at not being sensitive about spreading germs to babies and the elderly members of the family. Be wary at holiday family gatherings. (I’ve heard way too many stories about, “Such and such didn’t want to miss the family gathering even though she had diarhhea and nausea!” You even hear horrible stories about huge family/friends birthday parties being celebrated for an elderly member of the family where tons of people show up with colds and respiratory viruses. . . and within weeks, Great Aunt Betty, age 100 succumbs to pneumonia that was caused by a cold she picked up at her own birthday party.)
Anyways, there’s my novel form answer! Good luck!
My daughter was adopted and we took custody when she was only 17 hours old. I, of course, didn’t have to recover from pregnancy and delivery and we had her in church when she was 4 days old. We put her in the nursery when she was only 11 days old and she did just fine. She never got sick and the nursery workers held and cuddled her. Our church had a great nursery with fantastic workers.
When my grandson was born, however, my daughter had suffered toxemia and had a rough delivery. She had trouble those first few weeks attending church. I think Elisha was 2 or 3 months old before Wendy left him in the nursery unless I was the worker.
I was always careful about people wanting to touch the baby. Most people (my mom included) always go for the baby’s hand first just to squeeze it and pat it. Instead, I ask them to touch either their upper arm or legs because the little one will probably be sticking their hands in their mouth later.
I always waited a few weeks before going out with them in public. And when we did go out, it was never for very long.
We are also expecting a baby but not until early Dec. This will be #3 for us.
One of the benefits of breasfeeding is that the mom’s antibodies are given as protection to her newborn for the first weeks and months of life. I concur with Rebecca and your pediatrician; I would not take a bottle baby out unnecessarily.
In my area, the protocol for a baby that develops a fever in the first eight weeks is a spinal tap (literally a needle into the spine to withdrawal cerebrospinal fluid for analysis) and then admission for a few days.
We didn’t take our son to church until he was 6 weeks old, and didn’t go out places all the time even after that. At every well-check-up, our pediatrician has said to me, “You don’t take him around other babies much, do you?” And I say, “No, I don’t.” We put him in the church nursery for the first time when he was about 6 months old. We’ve only had one sick visit to the doctor in his 11 months! Kids can pick up weird viruses anywhere, so you can’t shield them forever, but by being a little overprotective at first, you can give them a great head start on their immune system.
it’s different for every mom. it will really depend on how you feel and with a c-section you may need more recouperation time than others.
i didn’t take my baby out just everywhere, but we did take them all to church by the time they were 2 weeks old. they stayed with me though, not in the nursery. i also have a big family and i did not avoid family gatherings.
but, ultimately you will have to decide what you feel is best.
Call me crazy, but we took our formula fed babies out into the world when we felt we were ready to embrace it. Our children have never run our lives nor dictated what we do and don’t do, within reason. They have fit in nicely with our life and we’ve created this thing we call a FAMILY.
The first week or two I didn’t feel like going ANYWHERE (and honestly I was scared to death! The size of those huge diaper bags full o stuff intimidated me!) I had no desire to go anywhere for a few days.
But then, I needed to get out. I wanted to resume my life, our life….I needed to feel NORMAL again.
We went out. We did. No problems.
Preemies and others have different issues and I would be very careful about that.
We didn’t let others grab hold of our kids too much and hold and touch them, but honestly I’ve never been a huge germ freak antibacterializing everything within a 50 foot radius of my kid.
You know, 100 years ago people strapped the baby on their backs and went back to the fields because life HAD to go on.
Do what YOU think is best.
Just wanted to let you know that my 2nd child was breast-fed and still got sick (with me) shortly after birth. It was very frightening. I had her beside my bed in a little cot so I could, hopefully, hear her if she stopped trying to breathe. Infants will struggle to breathe through their noses, so she had to be syringed often.
No, you cannot sterilize everything or keep them away from all bad germs, for sure. But why not just take your doctor’s advice? That’s my advice.
You have to develop a bit of a thick skin when you’re a mother because you can’t please everyone, and everyone has an opinion. Personally I found that to be the hardest part of motherhood. Well, that and the doomsayers’ warning, “Enjoy her now, because when she gets older…”
Since my son is only three weeks old, I don’t have a lot of hindsight to know whether what we are doing is a bad idea, but here it is.
We took him to church when he was four days old. I had a fairly easy vaginal delivery and I felt great. I didn’t let anyone hold him at church though.
A week later my grandmother died suddenly and we traveled 8 hours to be with family and attend her funeral. He traveled great, mostly sleeping and waking up only to nurse. Of course all of my extended family had to hold him. My two year old cousin had a bad cold and so I tried to keep him away from her as much as possible.
I also take him with me to the store whenever I go, which is a couple times a week. Basically, he goes with me everywhere. He has been to Wal-mart, the mall, fabric stores, many restaurants and grandma and grandpa’s house that is in the process of being built.
He had a check up last week and the doctor said he is doing great. So far he has not come down with anything.
Thus far our philosophy has been similar to Lindsey’s. If we want to go somewhere we go…and we take the baby with us. We’ll have to wait and see if it is a bad idea.
Sabine,
You’re my kinda girl. Out of all the advice here, I like what you said. Thick skin, thick skin. I’m still learning that advice.
And, the older you get the easier it gets. Someone told me I would care less about other’s opinions as my kids aged and as I aged. It is really true!
I have had very difficult recoveries from C-sections, and remained at home for at least 6 weeks the first time, and 8 weeks the second (though my husband and son went to church without us). I used to feel so guilty when I met these women in the Cry Room at our church with two-day-old babies…and I felt like such a wimp!
But then I read Leviticus 12. It seems it was once forbidden for a woman to enter the sanctuary until 33 days after the birth of a boy and 66 after the birth of a girl. I am no expert on interpreting the Law, and I have no idea why this is, but I took comfort that the LORD once instructed women to stay home a while! 🙂
I love your questions, Sallie. Just , fyi.
Yes, “in the old days” people did very different things with their kids, but we live in the 21st century. There are valuable lessons we can learn from the past and there are valuable lessons we can learn from the present.
I didn’t take either of my babies out until they were about 4 weeks and I didn’t let any non-family members hold them. When I did take the baby out it was only to church and I held him the whole time. I am very protective of them when it comes to germs, but I am not nutty overprotective. I have seen breast fed babies get sick just as much as formula babies. Little things like colds can really affect a baby. Colds in an infant is scary, especially for a new mom.
Well, both of my kids were baptized within two weeks of birth, and went to the church nursery. And both of my kids made the walking pilgrimage to good old Seymour library the day after we got home from the hospital. Of course my children have had colds and illnesses, but not during the first six weeks. As long as the child is otherwise healthy and you’re sensible about people touching the baby — I generally tried to keep people away from the hands and face, but allowed head and foot touching — and limit the number of people actually holding the child, taking the baby out in public places is fine, perhaps even encouraged for your own sake. The child is not actually going to be grabbing the cart handle at Meijer or anything, after all.
Blessings,
Karen
Hi, Sallie. I think “to take or not to take” Peanut out largely depends upon where you live. When we lived in Southern California, I did not wait 6-8 weeks to venture out in public, nor did my pediatrician tell me to stay indoors. But we have also lived in West Michigan (where my 4th was born) and we treated him a little differently. Obviously, your pediatrician isn’t out to ruin anyone’s fun (!!) so I would say just go with his advice. Oh, and DO NOT FEEL GUILTY for asking visitors to please wash their hands before holding Peanut!!
I brought both of my formula fed kids with me several places before they were six weeks old. And to church our first Sunday home from the hospital (approximately 9 days old for each of them). Neither of them ever get sick (maybe one or two sick visits in their first year and an average of one sick visit every three years now that they are older.)
I think it depends. I come from incredibly healthy stock. Very few people in my family get sick often…and it rarely is serious when we do. But some people have stronger tendancies toward “catching” everything around.
I also think you should do what you feel comfortable doing. I do not think people are being overly cautios when they stay home more often with their newborns than I did. How easily to you get sick? What about your husband? And others in your family? And then of course, things like viruses that you know are spreading through your church, premature births, or other complications should definately impact your decision.
It is different for every mom and every pregnacy. My three were mostly formula fed, though the youngest two did nurse for a few weeks at the beginning, and all were early – though not techniclly premies. However, while my own outings were limited early on, due to MY recovery, they did go with me everywhere I went from very early on. All three were in chruch around 2 weeks of age – though not in the nursry. My oldest was in part time child care at 8 weeks. And we have not had hardly a sick day – with the one exception of a case of croup.
Now like I said it depends there are a lot of things to consider — Bethany above mentioned most of what I was going to say.
Wow! Lots of good thoughts!
One thing I should have added… The ped. also said not to let ***anyone*** else handle the baby during the first six weeks unless they washed their hands or used the waterless handwash stuff. He told me to buy a big bottle of it and insist that everyone who wanted to touch the baby had to use it. I don’t have a problem with that at all. He also said to minimize contact with children as much as possible. Makes sense to me.
I guess asking about the church thing was because 1. I hate the thought of missing that much church because I like being there! and 2. I’ve seen other women do things differently so I wondered if this ped. was just extra cautious or if this was the “norm”.
David and I both come from pretty healthy stock. We rarely get sick with colds and stuff so hopefully Peanut will inherit that trait from us.
I’m also thinking that depending on how things go with the delivery and Peanut’s temperment I might be REALLY glad that I can keep saying, “Oh, my pediatrician said to keep her at home and away from people as much as possible the first six weeks.” Nice built-in excuse if I need it! LOL! 😀
Our son was in church his second Sunday being born. I even let lots of people hold him. He was a healthy baby and didn’t really get sick until he was over 6 months old. He was left in the church nursery when he was two months old. I found myself one Sunday worshiping my son instead of the Lord. I decided it was time for him to go to the nursery. He was the only child in the nursery for a long, long time so I wasn’t worried about it. I did make sure anyone who held him washed their hands. My husband is the Jr High Pastor at church and I would have all the girls wash before holding him. One of them asked me “Why, is he sick?” I said “NO! and I want to keep it that way!”.
My daughter (who is now 13 months) went to church two weeks after being born, but I didn’t let anyone hold her. People could only look. I kept it that way till she was about 4 months old. I didn’t take her into the church nursery until she was about 10 months old. I think there was something about her being my “baby”.
We have the attitude that our kids come into our lives and they need to fit into our lives. We didn’t skip doing ministry because we had babies and life continued on. I found that going and doing thigns helped me get back into the grove of life instead of having all things stop just because we had a baby. Was it hard sometimes? Yep, but so worth it.
The reason for being cautious for the first few weeks is because babies only have a limited ability to make antibodies when they are very young. The first 3 weeks are even more important than the next three, as far as avoiding anywhere where germs might be (therefore people). Breastfeedig helps particularly to give the baby antibodies to a germ that somebody else in the house (such as other children) has. It is a small sacrifice considering how precious this new life will be to you.
Sorry, I didn’t mean the breastfeeding was a small sacrifice, I meant the part about 6 weeks of avoiding people.
I stayed home for 6 weeks with my last baby. It really is the only time in your life that you can kick back and relax and actually not feel pressured to fullfill regular obligations. I love going to church, but I also figured my baby would only be a few days to a month old for a very short amount of time and I’d rather lay in bed and stare at him and savor every single second than get my life back to normal. I don’t regret it at all. Once you start going back, it seems almost like you have to continue going back. I have a friend who didn’t bring her fullterm twins to church until they were FOUR months old. (a little extreme, but I can understand a little)
This is off topic, but I am writing to let you know that there is a 48 hour prayer chain started for Susan Godfrey (you are on her blog’s list of friends). Please spread the word so we can cover this family in prayer.
In Him,
Amy
First let me say that you are brave to ask!
I’m learning so much from your blog posts that I am passing on to my ‘first-time mom’ daughter, who does not read! Ah! How did I get a daughter who doesn’t like to read?!
My youngest son was just nine days old when he developed a fever. He is my third child, and I did not know that babies should NOT develop fevers. He ended up in the hospital, in isolation. Scary scary time. It all ended well though, and the very next day his 18 mo. old sister came down with an ear infection.
He was breast-fed, so even that isn’t the end-all in infection fighting.
You’ll make the right choice when the time comes. Really. Motherhood is just a whole lot of common sense, with which you seem to be well endowed!
I had never even considered that question and do not believe it was ever mentioned to me. Mind you, your ante natal care seems quite different to mine anyway. There must be reasons for the advice you are given, although it would be a shame to miss church for 6 whole weeks….maybe you could get some ministry on the web .
I took Daniel to church 4 days after he was born although only for tea, and honestly, it was too much for me. But I was out and about with him by 2 weeks and even took him to visit colleagues at the hospital (ok, maybe that wasn’t so wise, but I needed to get out of the house!)
It will really differ for each parent and child, so take the advice and go with what your body and baby tell you.
Reading this blog is leaving me with more questions for the second time round than I ever had first time round!! 🙂