Yes, we are still in full holiday mode around our home. We are also busy, busy, busy with work and clients. If you’ve been reading here for a while you know that this is a VERY WELCOME change. We’re just so glad to be busy with the business because things were pretty slow for months and months, even though it makes for a more complicated Christmas season.
Anyway, last week I hosted our women’s Bible study Christmas gathering at my house. We had a lovely time of great food and fellowship. One of our co-leaders had us share our worst Christmas and our best Christmas. It was interesting that every woman except one had at least one bad Christmas and several of the women indicated that they had more than one to choose from. When it was my turn I shared that my worst one as a child was when I was in third grade and got the chicken pox. I missed the entire week of school before Christmas vacation – all the parties, Christmas program, crafts, etc. Bummer. As an adult, David and I have had many bad Christmases and I left it at that.
I thought I would share this topic tonight because I’m sure in the midst of all the preparations and joy and celebrations there are more than a few people who read here who are not going to have a very merry Christmas. If you are like me in previous years, you may be dreading the whole thing. We had a few years where my stomach was literally in knots thinking about the holidays – starting in September and continuing right through when it was over. There were problems leading up to the holidays, problems that came out of the blue on the holiday itself, anger, tears, hard words, etc. Not between David and me, but in dealing with others. I would not wish these kinds of situations on anyone.
Personally I find great comfort in knowing others have suffered before me, come through it ok, and can find joy on the other side. No matter how much a holiday stinks and fails to live up to any of the peace on earth, goodwill towards men it is supposed to entail, Jesus is still Lord and the Christmas story is still an inspiring and universe changing event.
I’ll close with one of my best – this year. There have been other good ones in the past, but there is something so great about watching Christmas through the eyes of your child. Caroline is especially taken with the donkey in the nativity scene we have. But Caroline LOVES the lights. Every morning when we come downstairs she points out every Christmas tree, swag, and string of lights that needs to be turned on. We turn them off during her nap and as soon as she comes down again, she is right on the need to turn on the lights. We took her for a drive to see the lights a few nights ago and she kept sighing and aahing and such. It was priceless. I’m so looking forward to her opening her gifts and can’t wait to see her reaction to some of the things we bought her.
So does anyone want to share a worst or best story to encourage anyone else?
Edited to add: Major bonus points if your worst story makes us LOL! 🙂
Best:
Our first Christmas as a married couple, just the two of us, half a country away from our family (and glad for it!). Our family were kind enough to send us presents in the mail so that we would have something under the tree to open on Christmas morning. We made and decorated cut-out sugar cookies in the afternoon. We ate “pork chops l’orange” from the Starving Students Cookbook on TV trays that had been a wedding present. We were in Syracuse, so I’m sure there was a ton of snow on the ground. Simple and quite lovely.
Worst:
Some holiday season in which we tried to “make everyone happy” and ended up making *no one* happy, and allowed them to dump the blame on us, even though our decisions were *ours* to make. All of our family lives in the same town, and my parents are divorced, thereby giving us three families plus some assorted grandparents to visit in our whirlwind holiday tours of our hometown. After 15 or so years, I think we’re finally coming around to making firm plans, notifying everyone in advance, and not accepting responsibility for their dislike of our planning… if you don’t *act* like a child, then eventually your parents perhaps stop *treating* you like a child!
I really have a hard time looking forward to the holidays for this reason… there’s no way to see everyone *and* start creating holiday traditions for our *own* family of six that don’t involve memories of highway rest areas.
OK worst:
I was in college and home at my parents for the Christmas break. We had a house full of family, including a rented Santa to pass out the gifts. The fireplace was lit and the house filled with smoke because the chimney had something in it. My dad went up on the roof to clear out the chimney. He slipped on some ice, fell off the roof, sailed past the living room windows where we were all standing — landing on his belly on the ground face in the snow. He had an obviously broken arm (praise God he was otherwise unharmed — just humbled). I spent the rest of the night in the Emergency Room with dad getting his arm put in a cast.
Best — every Christmas since our kids have been born. Watching their excitement and wonder is heart warming every year!
One year I worked my tail off gathering pictures of the kids (err, make that KID at the time) for a video presentation. (this was before the miracle of photoshop and all those fancy editing programs on the computer, and before the digital photo age) I gathered all my photos, sent them off far, far away to be scanned and then added to video with music. I spent about $100 on it and then had copies made for all the grandparents.
God must have wanted to smite my pride because, well, I was so EXCITED to see the grandparents reactions. I just knew they’d love it and I’d be praised like never before.
Well, 2 out of 3 sets loved it. One did NOT. My MIL blew me and my husband out on Christmas day, and I was in tears. Why? She said it was full of pictures of MY family and not enough of their family. I tried real hard to balance it, but obviously not enough.
She cried, yelled, cussed, and I cried. I wanted to hide under something.
I vowed that year to never, ever give her a personalized gift like that ever again. I will stick to clothes and bath bubbles and other “non emotional” things.
It was AWFUL.
I didn’t mention the best…
The year I was a kid and got my hot pink ten speed. I thought I was so sassy. 🙂
And as an adult, the years watching the kids open their gifts on Christmas morning. No matter the drama, that always takes the cake, year after year.
Worst Christmas: Four years ago when my mother had surgery for, and was diagnosed with, advanced ovarian cancer just five days before Christmas. It was a bolt from the blue- just the week before I had been happily planning our early Christmas get-together with my parents before they left town to visit my sister and her family. Everything changed in a phone call. Sadly, that was our last Christmas with my mother. It still makes me sad every time this year.
Best Christmas: I remember a wonderful Christmas at my grandparents’ farm when I was little- cutting the tree, visiting with all fifteen of my cousins- I think it was the only time that we were all together for the holiday, presents everywhere. It was like a movie ( it was in the sixties but my grandparents were so old-fashioned that it was more like the thirties).
Best:
When I was little, perhaps 6 or 7. I wanted a Barbie doll so bad…everyone girl on our block had one! But, our family didn’t have money for many toys, so I was the only one on my block who didn’t have a Barbie doll. I asked Santa for one. During the night on Christmas Eve I just couldn’t sleep. I kept getting up through the night, sneaking about half way down the staircase and peeping through the spindles to see the Christmas tree & the presents underneath (my parents did not wrap the gifts from Santa!)… On one of my trips down I saw that the milk & cookies were gone – and while there were toys for my brothers (bike & train set) there wasn’t a Barbie doll. I went back to my bed, cried a little and fell asleep. On Christmas morning, as usual, we three kids ran into Mom & Dad’s bedroom, jumped up on the bed and begged them to let us go downstairs and open gifts. I remember Mom looking at the clock. I’m sure it was some ungodly hour since it was still dark out. Dad just laughed and said ok – we jumped up and down on the bed squealing. We ran down the stairs to the tree. There, right in front was a Barbie doll with several outfits surrounding her! I broke out crying! Years later Mom told me that my Dad had worked a few extra hours a week to get me those gifts. Obviously, I was a Daddy’s girl!!! I will never forget that morning. Later in life, while going through a period of adversity, and financial hardship, God used tha memory to remind me that if my earthly Father loved me so much that he sacrificed his time for me, couldn’t my Heavenly Father provide even more for me?
Worst:
One year (when I was single) while living in a city away from my family, I became very ill 3 days before Christmas. By Christmas Day I had the worst case of flu I have ever experienced. I was not able to travel home, nor were any of my close friends in the city, they had all gone to their family homes. I felt so isolated, lonely and gave into a terrible self-pity party. My family called me on the phone to wish me a Merry Christmas, but to be honest, it didn’t help at all!
Worst: two years ago, my sister-in-law died in a car crash just before Christmas, coming home from a shopping trip. Her birthday was on Christmas Day, and her birthday party was always a big event, but that year it was a funeral instead. My inlaws are still dealing with the aftermath of her death. The only good thing is that God has used it to greatly increase my compassion and love for them.
Worst Christmases were the first couple of years that my Dad was in jail. after we stopped putting gifts under the tree for him in the hope that he’d “be home for christmas this year” it got a lot easier. that would have been my 13th and 14th year.
Best Christmases are the ones where we get the kids something fabulous and watch their eyes light up as they open thier presents.
This year is going to be a hard one for my MIL. she lost her dad on the 16th. if you happen to think of me, please pray for my MIL. He was her only family (& her stepmom & sibs always let her know it)
Mrs. Nehemiah
I meant to add an addendum to my best/worst list… I had a Christmas that wasn’t “best” or “worst,” but “bittersweet.” I was pregnant with our second child and found out 4 days before Christmas at an ultrasound check-up that the baby had died. My choices were to wait for the miscarriage to happen naturally, probably some time in the following few weeks, or have a D&C.
I didn’t think I could handle the emotional turmoil of carrying my baby with no heartbeat over Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, etc… I was afraid I’d create my own little pity party and shut Christ out of my heart… so after confirming on the 22nd that the baby had indeed died, we had the D&C on December 23. It was sooo hard to watch everyone walking around in Santa hats talking about their plans, while I’m on a gurney next to some guy having, I don’t know, outpatient toe surgery or something.
But… I’m so glad we had the surgery. Clay sat next to me, reading Psalm 145, while waiting for the doctor. (I looove Psalm 145 now!) And my pastor, a dear friend, came to pray with us and sit with Clay. I went to our church’s Christmas Eve and Christmas Day services, grieving and teary, but grateful and worshipful. We decided to stay in town and not visit family, and some wonderful friends invited us over to their home for Christmas Day to celebrate with their family. Then the three of us, mom, dad, and 18-month daughter, took a long winter’s nap in the afternoon.
Lindsey, I’m so sorry about your MIL story… it just takes the wind out of your sails for gift-giving, doesn’t it? At least gift cards are en vogue, eh?
Merry Christmas everyone… I’m off to tie up all those last minute loose ends!
Renae –
Are you sure your MIL and my StepMIL aren’t from the same family. That sounds JUST like her….
Lisa – It shouldn’t be funny, but I laughed so hard I cried when I read about your dad falling off the roof. All I could think about was National Lampoon’s Christmas…or my father (who is DEATHLY afraid of heights. He’d probably have a heart attack on the way down…) doing the same thing.
My best Christmas: Well, I had a TON growing up. I was an oblivious kid, so I never knew if money was tight. I have 30+ cousins on my mom’s side, so any time spent on Christmas with that part of the family was golden. Although I think my BEST Christmas is also my worst Christmas….
Worst: Last year, my Nana died. I wasn’t incredibly close with her like my grandma from my mom’s side, but what was so heartbreaking was getting the call from the hospital at my parent’s home on Christmas eve just as we were starting to serve dinner, and watching my Granpa’s heart break. I’d be a horrible person to say I didn’t grieve for my Nana’s death, but I honestly cried more for my Granpa and his loneliness after 55+ years. It was heartbreaking for me to watch. But, it was also the best Christmas because…
We found out we were pregnant with Liam on the 26th of December. We weren’t trying at all (in fact, were trying to wait for a while!), so finding out I was pregnant was a total shocker. And then, being able to tell my Dad (who just lost his mom) and my Granpa, who wanted nothing more than to be a great Granpa made it very bittersweet indeed. I’m of the firm belief that if the Lord sees fit to take one soul from our family, He replaces it with another.
Although, any Christmas spent with FIL and SMIL could turn ugly quick…. Lots of prayers to you ladies who have trouble with family at this time of year. I know what you are going through!
Oops. I meant to direct that SMIL/ MIL comment to Lindsey. I know how you feel dear, I know how you feel.
Worst:
I have to say my first Christmas married. We had no money and had to wait for our Christmas bonus to do our shopping, which left me 3 days to shop for a ton of people. If that wasn’t stressful enough, I told my mom I’d do all the baking for our Christmas get togethers. Fast forward to Christmas Eve. There I was, sitting in the middle of my parent’s living room sobbing because I had way to many presents to wrap, tons of cookies to bake and only 2 hours to do everything before the Christmas Eve service. My wonderful husband and daddy did the cookies for me, while my mom and sisters in law sat in the living room and helped me wrap presents. I have such a great family!
Best:
When I was in 3rd grade, we went to Ohio for Christmas to be with some family that lives there. It had snowed all day at my aunt and uncles house and this California girl was beside herself with excitement about the snow.
When we pulled up to their house and I got out of the car, I just stood in the middle of the road and took in my surroundings. The air was still and I could hear Christmas music playing from the neighbor’s house and the church bells were ringing. I felt like I was transposed into a Currier and Ive’s Christmas card.
To top it all off, I woke up Christmas morning and it was snowing! So far, that’s the only white Christmas I have ever experienced.
Well- first off reading a lot of these worst Christmas stories help me to realize that it can always be so much more worse!
I have two worse Christmas’s. The first one is the first Christmas my husband and I spent together as a married couple. My maiden name was Whiteman. My husband’s family and mine are different in so many ways, but for this story, one of the ways they are different is financially. Well, in the middle of opening gifts at my in-laws my MIL leans over to me and says so everyone can hear “This isn’t Christmas at the Whiteman’s”. Before this comment I had told them how much I loved each gift they had gotten me, went on and on about everything, so this comment was very unexpected!
My second bad story occured last year. My step-daughter had come to spend Christmas with us. It was the first year she had ever spent Christmas with us, so we went overboard trying to make it perfect for my daughter and her. It was such a major dissapointment when after all the work we did, she opened her gifts and said things like “I already have this one” “Another Littliest Pet Shop” “I don’t need to take these things home with me, I’ll just leave them here” It really ruined the day!
My best Christmas is when we were homeless! We are a military family, and over Christmas we were moving, so we stayed with friends. It was also our daughter’s favorite Christmas. It was awesome, and I really can’t say exactly why, other than it was just so wonderful, our first Christmas as a family with our new little blessing!
Worst Christmas ever….20 years ago, 1987. Our dear pastor and his family had been forced out of our church and had been desperately looking for a new one. They got the call to move 1000 miles away and were leaving after Christmas. Our family spent those days helping them pack, watching as they drove out the driveway and we stayed and cleaned the parsonage. My children learned much about compassion from that experience. This Christmas will be hard, too, as we remember this dear family because the wife died of breast cancer exactly 3 years later and now we have learned that a week ago this dear man took his own life, leaving his 5 children orphaned. The holidays can be so difficult for so many, the memories of happier times or great loss being unbearable when others around you are so happy. Please, if you read this, pray for this family.
Best Christmas ever…too many to count them all. God has been wayyyyy too good to me!
One year, my son and his wife and children drove 14 hours to surprise us so we had all the children and grandchildren under one roof, about 18 of us at the time. It was wonderful, hectic, but wonderful. Except that they brought their puppy!
I’ve had very few bad Christmases over the years and many good, but my “worst” and “best came back to back.
My worst Christmas was in 2003. I was 30 and still single. My younger brother and sister-in-law were expecting their second child and I was feeling very alone; like life was passing me by. Little did I know that I would meet my future husband in only a few days and would be married just before Christmas the following year.
My best Christmas was in 2004. I had just married exactly a week before Christmas. It was my first Christmas together with my husband. We spent part of our honeymoon in Northern Michigan at a B&B. When we returned home 2 days before Christmas, we had so much fun opening both wedding and Christmas gifts. It seemed our gift opening went on for days! Our time together on Christmas morning was very sweet. We started establishing some traditions and we both had so much fun visiting our new families.
Worst: the Christmas I was 8 years old. My uncle was going through a terribly nasty divorce, and all the adults (my parents/grandparents/uncle) spent the whole Christmas vacation carrying on hushed conversations, and crying. I didn’t understand at the time what was going on. And to top it all off, my dad had been influenced by someone in our church who didn’t “do” Christmas, and our gifts under the tree were greatly reduced from previous years, so my sisters and I only had a few small things to open.
Best: probably the year that I got engaged. We got engaged on Dec. 18th, and got to spend Christmas with my family. I was oblivious to everything around me. LOL