Over the past couple of years, there have been times I’ve been frustrated because circumstances were not what I wanted them to be, especially as it relates to our business and finances. One of the things that is challenging for me about having our own business is feeling quite out of control regarding the amount of work we have (and therefore our income level). It isn’t like we work at a retail establishment and can simply ask the manager for more hours if we want to make some extra money. While we can actively look for new clients and opportunities, we really have to wait for them to come. So while we may be very motivated and wishing for more work, it isn’t always there. And when the work isn’t there, the money isn’t there either. Funny how that works.
And so there have been moments when I’ve been tempted to wish that David had a regular job so we had a regular paycheck. Or I fantasize about David having a regular job and Caroline going to school so I am home all day by myself rather than all of us being together all the time.
But when I think about those possibilities, I really don’t want any of them. In truth, we are living out the life we wanted and prayed for. We can see how God answered those prayers so specifically and in His own time and way. We have a loving marriage, a home, a business that we can do from home, and a daughter that we already love to teach.
Whenever I become discouraged because things aren’t going exactly as I think they should, I just have to ask myself this: If God offered to change anything in my life such as giving David a regular job, would I want him to do it? The answer is always no.
When we make choices, we have to be willing to fully embrace them, including the natural outworkings of them. I think it is easy to wish for something, pray for it, receive it, and somehow forget that we have to live with some of the negatives associated with it.
Contentment comes for me when I remind myself that these are the choices that we’ve made. Choices that God has apparently blessed. We need to live out our lives in joy and contentment and trust that God in His sovereignty is still working out the details for our good and ongoing sanctification and His glory.