Have you ever bought what you thought was the perfect homeschool curriculum, only to discover a few weeks or months later that it just isn’t a good fit for your family? This almost always leads to a back and forth with yourself about what to do. You spent so much time, energy, and/or money on this choice that you feel obligated to keep using it. At the same time, your children are unhappy and asking for something different. You know deep down inside they are probably right.

If that’s you, I want you to know that I’ve been there. Most homeschoolers have at one point or another. I also want you to know that as a relaxed homeschooler, I believe you not only have permission to change course but that you should whenever something isn’t serving your child or family. Don’t allow guilt or regret to make your decisions. In fact, learning to adapt is at the heart of a peaceful, relationship-focused homeschool.

So let’s look together at:

• why making changes is an important part of the relaxed homeschool journey
• how to overcome homeschool guilt and buyer’s remorse
• practical steps you can take for a happier, more authentic family learning experience that works for your children and you

And then you will hopefully be ready to move forward in freedom! 

What if My Homeschool Curriculum Isn’t Working? Recognizing When It’s Time to Change Course

In some ways it makes sense that those of us who are thoughtful parents feel like we have to stick with things after we’ve invested time researching and spending often no small amount of money. Maybe it’s a popular math program. Maybe it’s a co-op class your child dreads attending. Maybe it’s an online course you dropped a bundle on. 

(Or maybe it’s a curriculum that everyone was talking about on social media that you got sucked into buying without doing your normal due diligence. It happens. We’re all human. And sometimes when we’re tired we make mistakes and don’t think things through. It’s okay.)

But here’s the truth: Your child’s needs and your family relationships come first. Continuing with something that isn’t working will only lead to frustration, resentment, and lost opportunities to learn with real joy.

So as relaxed homeschoolers we make changes when necessary. 

How do you know if it’s a legitimate time to change and not just a low point in the year? Do any of these sound familiar?

• Everyone dreads the subject or activity.
• It’s causing conflict in your relationship with your child.
• Your child is anxious about the subject or activity.
• Despite your best efforts, you see little or no real learning progress happening.

If it’s not just a low point in the year and you sense that everyone has made an honest effort, it may be necessary to move in another direction and not feel guilty about it. 

Curriculum Guilt and Buyer’s Remorse: Why We Feel It and Why You Can Let Go

If you feel guilty about quitting a curriculum or activity, you’re not alone. I’ve been homeschooling for 15 years and I’ve made numerous purchases that didn’t work out. It has included everything from physical learning materials to curriculum to even a co-op class. Each time I was tempted to feel badly about the money spent on them that could have been spent on something else. 

Here’s why it happens.

• We sincerely want to be good stewards of our limited time and money.
• We wrongly hold ourselves to a higher standard than we would ever expect of anyone else. 
• We fear looking foolish if we quit or drop out of something that everyone else loves and makes work for their family.
• We are concerned about setting a bad example to our children when we quit something.

But this isn’t God’s heart for us as parents! Your investment wasn’t wasted if you learned something and if it brings you closer to the approach your child truly needs.

God’s grace covers our learning curves and honest mistakes. Being a good steward isn’t about never making mistakes. It’s about asking God for guidance and being faithful with the next step to the best of our understanding at that moment. 

How to Release Homeschool Guilt and Move Forward—The Relaxed Homeschool Way

So if you are a homeschooling mom who struggles with letting go and moving in a different direction, here are some suggestions. Take what applies to your particular family and ignore the rest. 

Recognize the Guilt for What It Is

• Pray and ask God to give you discernment and peace.
• Remind yourself that every family’s homeschool journey is unique. You are not “behind” or “failing.” You are simply making a course correction. 

Talk With Your Children

• Share what you’re noticing about the particular situation. 
• Ask for their honest feedback about what’s not working and what they might like to try instead. They might surprise you with their insight and solutions! 

Take Practical Next Steps

• Reframe your “mistakes” as lessons in discernment and flexibility that will serve you well moving forward.
• Sell, swap, or donate curriculum that isn’t serving your family. I often simply donate homeschool curriculum to a local charity and pray God will bring the right person to find it as a specific answer to prayer. 

Model Authenticity and Adaptability

• Explain your thought process to your children so they understand it and can learn from it. They will be making adjustments in their own lives when they grow up. Seeing you model it well is an important life skill to share! 
• When you thoughtfully change course, you show your children that it’s wise and healthy to make adjustments when things aren’t working.

The Heart of Relaxed Homeschooling

Relaxed Homeschooling is about trusting that God is guiding us as we steward our children’s hearts and prioritize what matters most.

• Choose discipleship over perfection: Healthy family relationships are foundational.
• Flexibility is a strength: God calls us to faith, not rigidity.
• There is grace for today: Every “mistake” is covered by His mercy. Your willingness to pivot is a sign of growth.

You are not wasting anything by making a change that blesses your family! Every step you take in love and wisdom is preparing you and your children for the future God has in store.

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