Sunday we formally dedicated Caroline at church. We had a lovely day, surrounded by many dear family members and friends. After the service we had everyone over to our home for lunch and enjoyed a time of fellowship and celebrating our wonderful little blessing.
I decided to make things easy on myself so we ordered trays with various deli sandwiches as well as a fruit and gourmet cheese tray. We also ordered fabulous cheesecakes from a local cheesecake company. My mom helped me with the rest of the food. It was a great decision as I truly enjoyed the day and wasn’t worn out from trying to do everything myself. I’ve included a few pictures in this post so everyone will know why I’ve been MIA the past few days. I’ve been busy getting ready to celebrate and actually celebrating!
My mind is just swirling with things I’d like to blog about. Some of them I can and probably will eventually. Some of them I cannot. That’s the weird thing about blogging. You open up a large part of your life to whoever stops by to read it. On the other hand, there are significant parts of my life that I cannot blog about at all. So people know much about you when you blog and yet there are things you can never share here in this format. There are stories I would like to tell, experiences I would like to relate, etc. that would probably shed a lot of light as to why I hold to some of the views I do about certain matters.
But although I can choose to make my life a bit of an open book, so to speak, I don’t have the right to write about others. It is one thing to mention positive bits about others in your life. It is something completely different to write about issues and troubles you have with other people. The same thing holds true in how I write and will write about Caroline. It is not my intention to write “negative” things about her here, either now or in the future. She has a right to her privacy and I don’t have the right to violate it. In fact, the older she gets I will probably write about her less and less.
I’ve been thinking a lot about Caroline and raising her. We’re starting to head into the season where we need to make a plan and have a clear idea of how we are going to discipline her. We’ve talked about it in general ways, but haven’t gotten into the nitty gritty of how we will actually handle things. Several years ago I purchased Shepherding a Child’s Heart. I need to pull it off the shelf again and look at it. The basic premise (being under authority) made sense to me although I’m not so sure I would subscribe to the teachings of the book any longer. Does anyone recommend any other good books/materials/websites? (Later update – We did not follow that book.)
One of the things I long for for Caroline is the opportunity to have an imaginative, creative, peaceful childhood. I struggle almost daily with not wanting to raise her where we live now.
Last night I realized that for the first five years of her life, the location really isn’t going to matter at all. She won’t remember where she lived before she was five years old. The only thing that will matter will be the love and security she gets from David and me.
It is easy for me to feel frustrated that we can’t move NOW and for that to grow into a sense of hopelessness that we will ever be able to move at all. I know people raise godly children in the midst of much, much worse places than where we live, but I still long for more for her.
By “more” I don’t mean a McMansion, a new SUV, and four vacations every year. I mean things like a big window seat where she can read a good book on a rainy day, a room to do homeschooling with lots of room and lots of windows, a playhouse outside, an area for a vegetable garden, fruit trees, a fireplace for us to gather around as a family on a snowy night, a lovely view outside the windows, a large studio for David where she can set up her own easel and draw like Daddy… Those are the kinds of things I want for her. Are any of them necessary? No. She can still grow up to be a godly young woman without all those things. But that doesn’t change the longings I have for her – and us – as a family.
Only time will tell. 🙂
What To Do With Old Journals?
Sallie, your spread looks yummy! What a great way to entertain. I’m sure doing it the way you did certainly saved you much time in the kitchen, and offered a less stressful way to serve food to your family and friends!
Your family picture is very pretty! Caroline is getting so big! She’s adorable!!!
You are so right about blogging. There is only so much that one should share in a public forum such as blogging. In some ways, people may think a blogger is being “hypocritical” by sharing mostly positive things, and they may think a certain blogger’s life is a “bed of roses”, but in reality, who wants to read about all the negative in anyone’s life? I certainly do not enjoy reading blogs which focus on all the nitty gritty of the blogger’s life. And mostly, the negativity focuses on other people. Whenever I read someone’s blog and they are talking about their mother or neighbor or friend or husband in a bad light I cannot help but think how the person they were writing about would feel if they came across their blog!
Well, I’ve rambled on quite long enough. 🙂 Have a great day!
If you like “Shepherding A Child’s Heart” by Tedd Tripp, you may also want to check out “Don’t Make Me Count to Three” by Ginger Plowman. She also has a companion chart “Wise Words for Moms”. Our whole family (dad, mom,9y0 boys) has benefited from the video series (also in book format) “Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes . . . in you and your kids!” by Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller. We have learned so much about HONOR from this resource. Both suggestions are biblically based with practical hands-on ideas that help children change their hearts not just their behavior.
Sallie,
Anything by Sallie Clarkson is GREAT. I love their stuff. They are more from the “gentle parenting” side of the coin (and yes, we do spank) but I glean so much from her writings. Mission and Ministry of Motherhood are two great books she has done.
Secondly, can I just say YUM???? Cheesecake buffet??? Oh my heavens!
Caroline is blessed to have such a wonderful family. You are doing great. Keep pressing on, and you will raise that confident young lady. The fact you’re already preparing for years ahead is such a testiment that you love and care for her deeply.
I hope Caroline enjoyed her very special day! Our first born, we did a big party afterwards with BBQ and all the fixings. Our second and third got dinner at a local restaurant with friends and family because we were so tired! 🙂
Hi Sallie,
My top two book suggestions are:
Families Where Grace Is In Place (VanVonderen)
How to Really Love Your Child (Campbell)
I too wanted to ask about baby dedication. In our church, it seems to be more of a dedication of the parents and congregation, to commit to providing a Christian upbringing for the child, rather than the presentation of the (firstborn) child to the Lord that I see in the Bible (not that I’ve looked into it lately). What happens at baby dedications in your church?
Two of my favorite books om parenting so far have already been mentioned: Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Tripp and Don’t Make me Count to Three by Ginger Plowman. However, I also recommend Grace Based Parenting by Tim Kimmel and Romancing Your Child’s Heart by Monte Swan. I am currently making my way through a large stack of books we’ve picked up but these are the ones that really stick out!
Oh my goodness! I am getting hungry just looking at your photos today! Especially that dessert table….mmmmm…..
Your pictures were beautiful … and that food looks scrumptious!
Shepherding a Child’s Heart is one of our favorite books.
There is also a series of tapes from a sister church, which are now being offered online. The series is called “How Not to Foul Up the Training of Your Children,” and is preached by Pastor Albert Martin.
https://www.tbcnj.org/training-your-children.html
Sallie, I think you’re so right about the memories thing. I only have three memories from before I was 5 and they are all incidents in which my mom or my grandma was very very upset, and her emotions influenced mine. for instance one memory was the eruption of Mt. St. Helens. it was my Grandma’s birthday, she was hurt that my Aunt chose to go to the mountain instead of spend time with her, then when the mountain blew, she Really was worried. My grandma didn’t “freak out”(she was not one to display her emotions) but she was upset and I could tell, and it had something to do with the TV news about the mountain.
Anyway I think my point was that until she’s about 5 or so, Caroline’s memories will be based more on your (& her daddy’s) perception of/reaction to things than on anything else.
By the way, I *ALWAYS* wanted a “book nook” when I was a kid. in my imagination it was a window seat on a landing with bookshelves on either side, and comfy pillows.
& regarding the blogging, I think this is why I don’t blog much. I get it written out then think. How would this person feel if he/she came across my blog and found this? it’s the 21st century adaptation of the “thumper rule” If you can’t say (blog) somethin’ nice…
Mrs N
Sallie,
What you have said about blogging is so true. It is such a fine line to balance letting who we are come through while still being conscious of others. I have some very strong opinions, and I have to remember to keep them in check while blogging. Sometimes I’m more successful than others, I’m sure.
I do not have any book reccomendations for child rearing. I would suggest you look into Waldorf. I will be very upfront and say that Waldorf is not Christian based. However, it is a very gentle, art-focused discipline. Most early childhood resources will focus on keeping the child in childhood.
Our little family moved several states away last summer, and while it was a wonderful, God-led choice, it has also been difficult. I was worried at the time about how our youngest (who is three now) would handle the move. She’s always been much less willing to interact with strangers than our eldest, and I was concerned that she wouldn’t adapt well to our new surroundings or to her new daycare situation.
As it turns out, she loves her new room, adores her new house and can’t get enough of her new friends at daycare. She’s done fine. And she won’t recall our previous home at all (which breaks this mama’s heart a little bit), and so this is home to her.
It was our 8-year-old (and the mama, of course) who has missed his friends and old room and such. But even he is adapting well.
That’s all to say that you’re right… where you live doesn’t affect a child, in my opinion, nearly as much as the love that surrounds him or her.
Sallie,
I could list off about 20 books that have all contributed something to my parenting style… but to sum it up, whatever you do, be consistent. Set your guidelines and then enforce them. Inconsistency is one of the biggest problems I see in parents of young children.
On a much more cheerful note, Caroline is such a precious little baby. Her little face is just so sweet!
Blessings,
Jess @ Making Home
Thank you all for the book titles and other resources mentioned!
Peggy – Our pastor did both. He did talk about the fact that we were recognizing that Caroline was a gift from God and belonged to Him. He prayed for her salvation. He also talked about our commitment to raise Caroline for Christ and what that would entail. Lastly, he talked about the fact that the congregation was to hold us accountable to the commitment we made that day and if we were to stray from it, they had a responsibility to remind us that they were there and they heard us commit to raising Caroline for Christ.
I’m trying to get an audio copy of the service so I can transcribe our pastor’s comments and prayer. I would like to hang them on the wall. We have the prayer of blessing our friend, Jo Anne, prayed over us at our wedding framed and hanging in the living room. I would like to do the same with Caroline’s dedication.
Sallie,
I have that same tablecloth!
We moved cross country almost a year ago, and my blessing is 3 and every so often, she does act homesick. Not for the house we had before, but out of the blue she will mention Grandma, or one of her friends back home. So little ones can remember things.