We currently live in the city. In approximately 23 days (!) we will no longer own this house. The buyer has generously given us ample time to get out. But the questions are what and where? Buy or rent? City or country?
We’ve talked for years about city versus country. We’ve looked at numerous houses in both locations over the years and waxed eloquent about the pros and cons of each. Now we’re actually faced with making the decision and it’s a hard one. We don’t plan on moving again for a long time so whatever we choose we’ll be stuck with it enjoying for a long time.
So what do we consider?
The positive of the city/suburbs is that it is familiar. It is home. It is convenient. There is variety. We are a family that likes to do things. We like to go to museums and concerts and bookstores and coffee shops. We like to stop at Panera for a bagel and coffee or Starbucks for a snack while we are out doing errands. We’re a doing family and living in the city makes it easy to do a wide variety of things.
Another thing I think about is the fact that if homeschooling doesn’t work out for whatever reason, we have many options in the city. There are many Christian schools in our area so we would have choices.
The negatives of the city/suburbs? I miss the sky. I would like to be somewhere were I can see the sky clearly and enjoy lots of stars. I miss the quiet. I miss the views. I refuse to buy a house in a development that requires me to look at the two or three story backs of three or four or ten other cookie cutter houses. I cannot begin to explain how that sucks the life right out of me. It depresses me. I looked at a beautiful house today but the newer development depressed me. No trees. No views. Just rows of houses. Plain houses with no imagination or beauty.
In the city there are very few opportunities for Caroline to run freely. And by run freely I don’t mean wander around unsupervised. I mean run down a hill or across a large open spot of lawn. Even an acre or two provides more places for her to explore and garden and dig in the mud and do all the things little children should do. A place to put a hammock. A place to put a playhouse.
So the negatives of the country. The distance. The isolation. Those are probably the two big ones. I wonder if we would seriously weary of having to drive back into the city every time we wanted to do something. If we’re entering a time of much higher gas prices in history, this could become a very big negative for us.
And the idea of living in the country also makes me feel isolated and vulnerable. Whether it is true or not isn’t what I’m thinking. It is just the feeling of it being that way. Buying a house in a small development might alleviate some of that, but I’m not sure. I’m used to having lots of neighbors nearby and find a measure of security in the nearness of the other people.
If we move to the country, we’ll need another car. In the city we are able to easily get by with one (although there are times I would like a second car now).
If we move to the country, we will have to look for another church. After we finally found this one.
I think we are leaning toward city. We’ve lived in the NE part of GR for fourteen years now. This really does feel like home to me. The thought of starting all over again by moving to a new part of town or a new town is not very appealing at this moment. We live in a nice area, by far the nicest part of the GR area. I like it that the people know me at Starbucks and Meijer and Qdoba and the other places we frequent. I don’t know that I want to give all that up.
So we’re looking at rentals and looking online at houses. We’re praying for direction. After we close on selling our house, I’ll be more at liberty to discuss the process and so on. But until we have actually sold, I don’t want to discuss any details. But we’re excited to see where God will lead us next!
Dealing With Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and My Number One Health Rule
We live in the country about 30 minutes south of Jackson ,we love the isolation , the yard work ,the sights of farming (and accept the smells and sounds as farmers plant and fertilize and harvest all night long)) ,if I have to go into town more than twice a week it feels burdensome . From what you are saying I would encourage you to continue looking near the city / suburbs, it sounds as though the things we enjoy about being out in the country would be burdensome to you. A friend of mine has a wonderful house on 10 acres in the “country” less than 5 minutes from the mall , so it doesn’t have to be an either- or decision, how exciting and good for you that there is so much more to choose from at this time. Maybe look for something that is next to the parks or state land so you are in a wide open setting without actually having to own the whole thing and it won’t be developed as soon as you move in.
Both sound very nice the way you write about them!
I’ve thought about moving a bit farther out and being able to buy more land (a lot more land). The thing that stops me is the fact that we get winter here. If we didn’t have winter, I would totally do it, but the thought of being farther out from things in the winter is just too much for me.
I don’t find distances very useful in comparing city vs. country, and think in terms of driving times instead. Things are farther apart in the country, but also you can cover distances more quickly–much less traffic and many fewer intersections. City driving is very hard on both cars and drivers.
If you don’t want to move again for a long time, you will probably be better off buying. I also think it’s easier for owners to assimilate into a new neighborhood. Rentals have a (relatively) much higher turnover rate, and often have a stigma attached to them in a mixed owner-renter neighborhood.
Maybe instead of just thinking of city vs. country, you might consider small towns as well. That would give you some of the benefits of both.
Also, comparing services between big city and small towns, I think that smaller towns often offer better services, on a per capita basis. Our town of 50,000 does not have a library that is fifty times bigger or better than what a town of 1,000 would have. We have only one post office with three or four workers at the counter, at most.
I’d encourage you to remain close to your new church. Finding the “right fit” is a wonderful gift, and not easily replicated.
Hi! I am new here but love your posts! I can absolutely identify with your where-to-live struggle. My husband is a pastor, and God has called us to a blighted urban community on the outskirts of Denver, but we so long for wide open spaces, trees, and an innocent childhood for our kids. Our partial solution is to live in the city but escape to our little tiny acre of peace and quiet in the mountains whenever we can. (I’ve actually written a lot about the agonizing we’ve faced over this on my blog.)
One thing to consider: you mention your church. Don’t think solely in terms of what it’s meant to you, but what you mean to them. I know from painful experience that when a family leaves our church (which is a newer church plant hanging on by a thread) it leaves a deep vaccuum. You are valued there! And as you pour out your life to God, He will be faithful to fill you up by those quiet streams and green pastures (Plenty of stars there!)
I just wrote you a long comment that got lost! ARRRRGHHH!
Ok, I grew up on 20 acres in the country, had a beautiful, idyllic childhood of building tree forts and roaming the woods and riding my horse… but I wouldn’t live there now. It was lovely… and also lonely.
Our local homeschool group was 30 minutes away. Everything was 30 minutes away. We didn’t have many people over because they didn’t want to come that far. I didn’t have a lot of friends. It mattered to people that we were far out.
I like visiting my parents, and I wish my children could roam freely like I did… but it’s not worth it. We are get out and do things people. I like having neighbors and being close to friends.
We have some privacy and a large yard in the city. Our yard has trees, and it’s not horribly cookie cutter. You can find something like this if you look hard, I bet.
I also just wrote you a long comment and it got eaten!!!
Pretty much, I second what Ellen is saying. From what you’ve said, I think your cons would really be highlighted if you moved to the country. We live where any half-decent towns are 40 minutes in each direction. Also, with an only child, I’d comment on that aspect too. We have an 8 year old “only” and our town of a couple hundred (literally) is isolating enough for an only child–and we don’t even homeschool him (can’t, due to family situation). You probably won’t find many people in your networks that want to travel out to you so Caroline would probably find it very isolating.
Also, if you don’t want to move again for a long time, don’t rent!! You just never know when your landlord will sell out from under you or decide they don’t want to rent anymore…been there, done that!