There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.
Ecclesiastes 3:1
One of the great things about living in Michigan is that there are four very definite seasons. In Michigan, winter is winter – cold and snowy. In the summer it is hot and humid. Fall is beautiful with cooler temperatures and colorful leaves. Spring is a gentle season full of blooming flowers and trees. Each season lasts just long enough to make me long for the next one. I find comfort in the changing of the seasons and knowing what to expect of them.
I also trust that there is a season for everything in my life. The problem is that these seasons don’t seem to “fit” the norm! Aren’t we supposed to marry and have babies in the spring of our lives? Aren’t we supposed to look forward to sending our children off on their own and those adorable grandchildren when we are entering the late summer and early fall of our lives?
So why am I having my first baby at mid-summer?
I didn’t freak out when I found my first gray hairs in my mid-20’s. I just did something about it. I was almost 30 when I got married and I didn’t feel “old”. And I’ve chosen not to obsess about my weight as I’ve moved through my thirties and have realized I’m never going to be “that small” again.
But having a baby at 39? I don’t care what the trends are and how many women are doing it. And people can tell me I’m “young” til the cows come home. I’m still almost 40 and doing something that is normally done in the teens (historically) and twenties (more recently). This season thing in my life seems really out of whack.
So when I look at this coming baby with a worldly perspective I think that this is crazy. David and I will hopefully live long enough to see our grandchildren, but it is very, very unlikely we will live to seem them old enough to graduate high school and have families of their own. When I think about things like that, I feel totally out of step with the way things are “supposed to be”.
But this is the plan God has for me. He’s done some major shifting of my life’s seasons. The purpose of doing this? Only He can know for sure. I think perhaps it is because God knows it will help me to age gracefully. Having this little one come is going to bring joy and youthfulness to our lives at a time when most people are thinking of only making it to the light at the end of the tunnel (empty nest and retirement). I think having a baby now is going to help me focus not on the fact that I’m getting older and moving on to the next season, but on enjoying the fact that in some ways this being an older parent will extend my youth.
I’ve watched many women become depressed about getting older. It depresses them that they fight the battle of the bulge, the gray hair battle, the battle of sagging faces, etc. I could probably be the same way. But I’m hoping that I’ll be too wrapped up in enjoying being a mommy so that although some of these same things will be happening to me, I’ll be too focused on the thrill of FINALLY being a mommy that they just won’t matter as much. Rather than focusing on these natural parts of aging that our culture tells us we must banish at any cost ($$$), I will hopefully age gracefully and will be too wrapped up in enjoying the child of my “youth”.
So I’m looking forward to meeting this little one, this one that God held back for so long. This baby is obviously being sent at a time appointed by God for reasons only He knows. I look forward to being a “late summer mommy” and seeing what unique blessings will be in store as I walk this road called life where the seasons have been adjusted for God’s purposes. And it is my prayer that I will do it in a gracious and graceful way that brings glory to Him.
Cultivating Contentment
Sallie,
My youngest child was born when I was 38 and it was the best delivery of them all, though he weighed in at 10 lbs. 14 oz!
Sniff, sniff, sniff, he will be 15 next week!
Even though I might not have the energy I did when my oldest was a teenager, (she is 30 now!) I think he benefits from the greater wisdom I have now than I had 15 years ago!
Now, here is the only downside as I see it. If you have a girl, you could possibly be going through menopause at the same time she begins have cycles. If that is the case, I would suggest that David build a little shanty in the back yard so he can have a place of peace when the inevitable occurs!
🙂
Very funny, Karen! LOL!
LOL @ Karen
You have a great perspective on it all Sallie. It’s really such a blessing, I know God has wonderful plans for your growing family. A lot of women say they enjoy their ‘later in life’ babies way more because they are not as tense and feel as if they have to do it perfectly. (I was one of those late in life babies in fact!)
I need to stop complaining about my age. I whine too much about all those things you mentioned!! lol
Enjoy your break!
Christie
What a wonderful way to look at life! It can easily be applied to those of us (eg, me) who are still stingle and not by choice. 🙂 And you know all about that for a while, I know, which is encouraging in itself. Thanks for the encouragement! 🙂
Hi Sallie. I came over from Carol’s blog to see what you had to say. Very good and well written. I had our first daughter at 37 and our second at 39. Personally, I’m glad I was older. I had gotten all the “silly stuff” out and was able to handle motherhood better AND more calmly.
Sallie, you aren’t going to have time to worry about growing old! You are going to be busy! And, that might be a blessing. I have a friend who didn’t marry until she was 37, had her first child at 42 and another one 3 years later! Both of those boys are brilliant; one is working on his Doctorate, and the other one is graduating soon and off to go for a PHD. She’s YOUNG in her thinking and doesn’t look her age at all. She just worries if she’ll ever be a grandmother, since the boys are in NO hurry to get married.
I had my children at the age of 25 1/2 and 28 – much older than most of the girls in my age group. And, along comes my daughter and had 4 before she was the age I was with my first one.She says she’s going to ‘grow old’ OR is that ‘grow up’ with her kids! She will have a Senior and a Junior next year.
AMEN! Aging gracefully can be a struggle in today’s society. The funny thing is though – the more I watch Godly Women walk through aging, the more I am convinced that they are the ones of beauty. I look at some women in their 30’s & 40’s who are without Christ – no grace, little peace, and so much stress that their faces are always drawn, tense and dark. The contrast of that to a woman who is secure in Christ, walking in peace with a joyful countenance is extreme. Many of the sages in my life are either in their 70’s or 80’s. Most of them look like they are barely 50. So – walk in grace my sisters in Christ, with your head held high because you are a daughter of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords!
They say “kids keep ya young” – I’m not sure I’m totally convinced of that myself lol. God’s timing is always perfect and yes, I think you will be far to busy to concern yourself with “aging”. Maybe that actually is a good thing lol.
Sallie,
I had my first two children in my early twenties and felt so at sea! My third was born last summer and I am going to be 28 next week. The difference (even in just the years between 21 and 28) is amazing to me. I am so much more relaxed with our baby than I was when my first two were babies. I attributed that to experience, but I think age has a lot to do with it, too. I didn’t really “settle” into motherhood until I was 25. I can only imagine how much more prepared you must be having your baby in your 30’s. Your perspective will make all the difference!
LOL @ Karen’s comments. My dd is a bit of drama queen at 6. I can only imagine the teen years — and that without me going through “the change!”
I was 30 when I had my son. I felt like I had been trying forever to have a baby. But God did in deed know when I was ready and that I would only be able to handle one child in my life. You have such a wonderful outlook on this pregnancy and the timing that God has chosen for you. I view age as only a number. And I agree with you in that for the next several years you are going to be way to busy to notice the changes life has in store for your body and mind. Good Luck!
I told Sallie that I think I figured out over the last few days why God might be giving Sallie a “late summer baby”. Our favorite season is the fall, so it only makes sense that we have children that go into the “fall season”. 🙂
Hi There –
I just read this post and had to comment…although it’s several months after you posted it!
My mom had me when she was 27 and my brother when she was 29 and then she went through a season of miscarriages but…finally she was able to conceive and deliver 2 more babies (girls!) at ages 39 and 41. Those births were her easiest and fastest. I am 14 years older then my youngest sister and those babies are now young women.
my mom said she has only one regret. that she didnt have MORE children! GOD BLESS YOU as you fill your home with love. Your baby is BLESSED!
16.5 years later… There was a lot of truth in this. Having Caroline when we were older has definitely made us feel “younger” than we are. We sometimes forget our actual ages.