There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven.
One of the great things about living in Michigan is that there are four very definite seasons. In Michigan, winter is winter – cold and snowy. In the summer it is hot and humid. Fall is beautiful with cooler temperatures and colorful leaves. Spring is a gentle season full of blooming flowers and trees. Each season lasts just long enough to make me long for the next one. I find comfort in the changing of the seasons and knowing what to expect of them.
I also trust that there is a season for everything in my life. The problem is that these seasons don’t seem to “fit” the norm! Aren’t we supposed to marry and have babies in the spring of our lives? Aren’t we supposed to look forward to sending our children off on their own and those adorable grandchildren when we are entering the late summer and early fall of our lives?
So why am I having my first baby at mid-summer?
I didn’t freak out when I found my first gray hairs in my mid-20’s. I just did something about it. I was almost 30 when I got married and I didn’t feel “old”. And I’ve chosen not to obsess about my weight as I’ve moved through my thirties and have realized I’m never going to be “that small” again.
But having a baby at 39? I don’t care what the trends are and how many women are doing it. And people can tell me I’m “young” til the cows come home. I’m still almost 40 and doing something that is normally done in the teens (historically) and twenties (more recently). This season thing in my life seems really out of whack.
So when I look at this coming baby with a worldly perspective I think that this is crazy. David and I will hopefully live long enough to see our grandchildren, but it is very, very unlikely we will live to seem them old enough to graduate high school and have families of their own. When I think about things like that, I feel totally out of step with the way things are “supposed to be”.
But this is the plan God has for me. He’s done some major shifting of my life’s seasons. The purpose of doing this? Only He can know for sure. I think perhaps it is because God knows it will help me to age gracefully. Having this little one come is going to bring joy and youthfulness to our lives at a time when most people are thinking of only making it to the light at the end of the tunnel (empty nest and retirement). I think having a baby now is going to help me focus not on the fact that I’m getting older and moving on to the next season, but on enjoying the fact that in some ways this being an older parent will extend my youth.
I’ve watched many women become depressed about getting older. It depresses them that they fight the battle of the bulge, the gray hair battle, the battle of sagging faces, etc. I could probably be the same way. But I’m hoping that I’ll be too wrapped up in enjoying being a mommy so that although some of these same things will be happening to me, I’ll be too focused on the thrill of FINALLY being a mommy that they just won’t matter as much. Rather than focusing on these natural parts of aging that our culture tells us we must banish at any cost ($$$), I will hopefully age gracefully and will be too wrapped up in enjoying the child of my “youth”.
So I’m looking forward to meeting this little one, this one that God held back for so long. This baby is obviously being sent at a time appointed by God for reasons only He knows. I look forward to being a “late summer mommy” and seeing what unique blessings will be in store as I walk this road called life where the seasons have been adjusted for God’s purposes. And it is my prayer that I will do it in a gracious and graceful way that brings glory to Him.