This summer I reached the point in our homeschooling journey where I realized I needed an extended reset. I thought about just pushing through the last two years and keeping to our summer homeschooling plan. But I decided the next two years would probably be much better if I took a step back and gave myself room to breathe.
I’m the one who has written about the need for margin for the past 18 years. I’m the one who warns other women about burnout. I’m the one who advocates for the very real needs of introverts.
So I decided maybe I should listen to myself.
We changed our summer plans a bit and are taking more weeks off than we had anticipated. I need it. I think Caroline needs it as well.
The artwork I chose for this post is a good illustration of what it means to be a homeschooling mom. The child is delighted to have her own little watering can so she can participate in real life. The mother willingly shares her water with her child. But the mother can only fill her child’s watering can if her own can is full. She cannot pour what she doesn’t have.
Likewise a mother can only give to her child if she stops to replenish her own spiritual, physical, and emotional resources.
My watering can has been running low. I’ve documented our homeschooling journey quite thoroughly so I’m not going to retell it here. Between our own family’s life and the world around us, it feels like nothing ever ends or is resolved. It feels like there are so many partially finished tasks in my life. There are many open tabs that need to be closed. At the same time, I’ve recently seen how helpful it has been to reset our kitchen work zones. Changes like that can make a big difference. But overall it seems there is never time to simply focus for extended periods of time and deal with many of the things that hang over me.
One would think with a year round homeschooling approach there would be more opportunities to attend to other aspects of life. However, I’ve learned that one of the pitfalls of this approach to homeschooling is you fill up the “off” weeks with things you don’t want disrupting your “homeschool” weeks. So your “off” weeks really aren’t “down” weeks or “free” weeks. They are simply filled in other ways with appointments and other things you’ve put off. There is never time to simply be.
We’ve been off the past three weeks and I plan on taking next week off as well. I’m to the point where I think one more week without the responsibility of homeschooling will get me to where I need to be. I’ve spent a good portion of the last three weeks working on the final pivot. Next week I’ll tie up the loose ends with that. The bulk of the time will be doing some decluttering around the house and extended homeschool planning. I have allowed myself the freedom of not thinking about homeschooling the past three weeks other than as it came up working on this website. I did not realize how badly I needed that mental break until I took it. Today and next week I’ll begin thinking about those responsibilities again.
I never want to be a hypocrite so I’m endeavoring to practice what I preach this summer.
Have you ever done a homeschool mom reset? What helped you the most? I think it’s one of those things we convince ourselves we don’t have the time to do, but that’s when we probably need it the most.
P.S. One of the things I did was go back and tag all the posts with artwork. If you go to the Tags page, you can see them. The posts are all tagged at the end of each post as well. I might have missed a few and I’ll add them as I come across them. Was it necessary to do this? No. Did it matter to me? Yes. I hope you enjoy the beautiful art.
Artwork: “The Young Gardener” by George Dunlop Leslie
You Belong to Your Father, the Devil
Hello Sallie,
I love the analogy with watering cans! Yes, we cannot pour into others if we are empty! Amen! We also practiced a year round homeschool. I was especially burned out during the holidays with my anniversary and birthday also in December, both our families in town with festivities, and any extra church Christmas events. I recall several post holiday times when I was not ready to resume our homeschool schedule. I would take more time off to de-decorate and store/organize our Christmas decorations, which were minimal compared to most everyone I know: declutter and organize my boys closets and rooms; and do a deep cleaning. I was more motivated then than during the Spring. We also often traveled in January, a nice break from the routine. We lived in a semi-rural area where my children did not have neighborhood playmates, so there was no pressure during summers to come out and play. We enjoyed boating on Wednesdays during the summer months, and did our regular school days the other four days of the week. Our co-op followed the public school calendar, which was fine. Thanks for all you do! You deserve time to refresh, refill, renew! Blessings!
Hi Vicki,
Thank you for the words of encouragement and sharing your own experience. I like your idea of taking more time off post-holiday to clean and organize. I can see how that would work very well.
I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no homeschool plan or routine that works every year. I can see that as Caroline has changed and our work situations have changed that we’ve needed to adjust accordingly. Throw in the lockdowns and insanity of the past few years and it’s like changing tires on a moving car (as David often says). LOL!
Sallie
Dear Sallie,
Over several years I have checked in with your lovely website. I want to thank you for all the your efforts, creativity, and thoughts here. It has been such an encouragement to me and a refreshing place on the internet. May the Lord give your family every grace and blessing.
Hi Elizabeth,
Thank you for taking the time to say hello and leave an encouraging comment. I’ve very focused on making this a place of beauty and encouragement. I’m glad you find it so.
Blessings to you as well.
Sallie
Yes!!! Changing tires on a moving vehicle explains the recent years of chaos for sure! The beauty of homeschooling is personalizing the teach style to the learning style and taking breaks when student or teacher needs it. As a boy younger brother fretted over school. We were in a wonderful public school back in the day. When he would get upset, my daddy, in all his wisdom, sent him out to play! The homework some students are burdened with does not allow for playtime at the end of the school day. Thank God for the freedom to homeschool and allow our children to play while still getting a high quality education. Your daughter is blessed!
Vicki
Hi Vicki,
This post of mine from 10 years ago speaks to the homework issue. I cannot imagine how much worse it is now. It’s insane what parents will allow others to do to their children.
Sallie
https://sallieborrink.com/homeschooling-homework-and-excessive-expectations-on-children-today
Sallie, I always appreciate your perspective on homeschooling. We just got back from a vacation out West (Wyoming and Colorado), and a visit with family. My niece is currently homeschooling my great nieces, ages 7 and 5. It was great to talk with her and hopefully offer encouragement. So many people don’t understand that homeschooling is about the hearts of our children, and not about moving through a prescribed curriculum. I hope and pray that I was able to leave my niece with that “nugget”. It certainly was fun to play with little girls again, and that did my heart good! I hope you and Caroline enjoy the rest of your Summer. 🙂
“So many people don’t understand that homeschooling is about the hearts of our children, and not about moving through a prescribed curriculum.”
This is what so many people miss. And this is what makes their homeschooling (and parenting) so much more difficult. Thank you for stating this. ♥
Sallie
Hi Sallie, that is a beautiful painting and, oh, so true. We can’t pour out if we are not filled up! Why, then, do we always feel like refueling is a waste of “valuable” time? My homeschooling journey ended over a decade ago, as my kids finished up high school in 2008 and 2010 (really?). But I well remember the feeling of needing time for a reset. We always schooled through the summer (as I hate the heat and prefer to be indoors in the AC), so fall was always time for a reset, before beginning our new school year in November.
Although I am now in a different season of life (babysitting my baby granddaughter 3 days a week), I find that I still need reset time. Just because I can’t pour into her life if I am not filled up myself. So, today is one of those days. I am reading inspiring blogs (yours being one of them), listening to soft music, and seeking the Lord.
Blessings to you!
Thank you, Patti, for taking the time to leave encouraging words for everyone who reads this. ♥