Update 2026: We’ve gone through a lot since I wrote this. I’m leaving it here for historical perspective. We no longer consider ourselves Reformed.
Denominational perspectives are funny things. And by funny I don’t mean any disrespect. But we’ve had a couple of interesting experiences lately that I thought I would share. And please don’t be offended if you belong to one of these denominations because I’m merely sharing some interesting stories.
For those who don’t know, I’ve been a member of a number of different flavors of Baptist churches as well as a Christian Reformed (CRC) church. (If you aren’t familiar with the CRC, it is from a Dutch background and Grand Rapids is the CRC mecca. There are literally dozens of CRC churches in the area.) I have also attended at length an Evangelical Covenant church and have visited to consider PCA, Evangelical Free, Brethren, Reformed Baptist, Orthodox Presbyterian… Seems like there were others that escape me now. The point being that I’m not exactly tied to any one particular theological view although I’m definitely more Reformed than anything else. Caroline has been dedicated (Baptist) and baptized (CRC). We’ve chosen to not major on the minors in recent years.
Anyway.
We recently ran into a woman from a Baptist church where we were members a few years ago. We chatted for a bit and she asked where we were attending. We told her at such and such Christian Reformed Church. I could see her mind go into mental overdrive as she tried to figure out how we were at a CRC church. I mean, we were members of a Baptist church. And now CRC. She seriously was trying to fathom this because if you are Baptist in Grand Rapids you are definitely not CRC and vice versa. She smiled and said something like, “Oh.” And that was about the end of the conversation.
We also recently had a conversation with a few CRC members. When one of them mentioned that Caroline would be going to preschool soon, I said that at this point we were planning on homeschooling her for preschool. Complete. blank. look. Absolutely zero frame of reference. CRC churches are very, very big on Christian school. Almost all CRC families send their children to Christian school. Homeschooling is really not on the radar and homeschooling preschool is just not even in their vocabulary.
Then there was the recent experience I had while researching preschools. I found one that interested me that was operated by two Lutheran churches near us. But as I read the denominational information (Missouri Synod), I was basically informed that if we attended a service we would not be allowed to take communion because they have very strict views on not taking communion with anyone who doesn’t hold to their Exact. Same. View. So, I concluded, that they would be more than happy to educate my child (the website said you don’t have to be Lutheran to attend). But she would be second class as a member of a CRC church. And if we ever attended either of the churches associated with the school, we would be denied communion. Hmmm. The lifelong Baptist in me just couldn’t fathom denying a fellow believer communion. Decided not to pursue that option any longer.
There really is no point to this post other than to share some stories about how we continue to try to navigate the waters of various denominations and hope that we will someday find a place that truly feels like home.
I grew up Lutheran (Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada, a sister church of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America), attended Brethren and Mennonite Brethren churches in university, a Mennonite church post-university and now attend a non-denominational evangelical church. I know enough church vocabulary to fit in almost anywhere! 🙂
I get what you mean about some things being out of the question in certain denominations. It’s funny, and yet kind of sad all at the same time. I really wish that Christians weren’t so good at majoring in the minors.
I grew up Lutheran (Evangelical Lutheran Church in Canada, a sister church of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America), attended Brethren and Mennonite Brethren churches in university, a Mennonite church post-university and now attend a non-denominational evangelical church. I know enough church vocabulary to fit in almost anywhere! 🙂
I get what you mean about some things being out of the question in certain denominations. It’s funny, and yet kind of sad all at the same time. I really wish that Christians weren’t so good at majoring in the minors.
Hey! I thought I might encourage you not to run screaming from the church school right away. Some individual churches don’t adhere as strictly to those statements, and it seems likely to me that most of the teachers aren’t thinking of them when they’re teaching their students. I guess I wouldn’t assume that she would be considered a second class citizen because she isn’t Lutheran. I taught preschool, and I never really knew which children in my class went to the church I taught at, and I didn’t really care. They were kids that I enjoyed teaching because of their own unique personalities, and I don’t think any of the teachers at that school thought of it any differently than I did. Flavor of denomination just wasn’t on our minds…. Anyway, that’s my two cents. Take it or leave it. =)
Hey! I thought I might encourage you not to run screaming from the church school right away. Some individual churches don’t adhere as strictly to those statements, and it seems likely to me that most of the teachers aren’t thinking of them when they’re teaching their students. I guess I wouldn’t assume that she would be considered a second class citizen because she isn’t Lutheran. I taught preschool, and I never really knew which children in my class went to the church I taught at, and I didn’t really care. They were kids that I enjoyed teaching because of their own unique personalities, and I don’t think any of the teachers at that school thought of it any differently than I did. Flavor of denomination just wasn’t on our minds…. Anyway, that’s my two cents. Take it or leave it. =)
My family lives in Grand Rapids. We’re CRC. We homeschool, as does another family in my congregation, and while it’s unusual, it’s not unheard of. For the most part I have not gotten the response you did, but I think it’s only partly about the Christian school thing. When you tell anyone, CRC or not, that you homeschool, there’s all kinds of questions and criticisms that cross his/her mind about its legality, its effectiveness, and so on. Once in a while they’ll verbalize them.
Anyway, homeschooling is less of an anomaly now. It might surprise you to know that Madison Square CRC — about as far from the Homeschool Building as you can get both demographically and conviction-wise — runs a fairly large homeschooling co-op for some classes, including science taught by young-earth teachers (and that’s all I’m going to say about that (except that my elementary kids go to a couple of the other classes)).
My family lives in Grand Rapids. We’re CRC. We homeschool, as does another family in my congregation, and while it’s unusual, it’s not unheard of. For the most part I have not gotten the response you did, but I think it’s only partly about the Christian school thing. When you tell anyone, CRC or not, that you homeschool, there’s all kinds of questions and criticisms that cross his/her mind about its legality, its effectiveness, and so on. Once in a while they’ll verbalize them.
Anyway, homeschooling is less of an anomaly now. It might surprise you to know that Madison Square CRC — about as far from the Homeschool Building as you can get both demographically and conviction-wise — runs a fairly large homeschooling co-op for some classes, including science taught by young-earth teachers (and that’s all I’m going to say about that (except that my elementary kids go to a couple of the other classes)).
Ellen – I understand what you are saying and I agree. I guess the communion view was just too big of a cut in stone essential on their end for me to be comfortable with it.
Karen – Hello fellow Grand Rapidian! I’m not familiar with Madison Square CRC, mostly because that quarter of town is unfamiliar to me. I don’t really know anything about the Homeschool Building other than they exist and have classes and curriculum sales. I’m not even sure which end of the spectrum they tend to fall on. Again, they are on the far other end of town so I haven’t had any real contact with them. But thanks for the info about MSCRC. That might come in handy in the future when we actually get rolling with homeschooling. 😀
Ellen – I understand what you are saying and I agree. I guess the communion view was just too big of a cut in stone essential on their end for me to be comfortable with it.
Karen – Hello fellow Grand Rapidian! I’m not familiar with Madison Square CRC, mostly because that quarter of town is unfamiliar to me. I don’t really know anything about the Homeschool Building other than they exist and have classes and curriculum sales. I’m not even sure which end of the spectrum they tend to fall on. Again, they are on the far other end of town so I haven’t had any real contact with them. But thanks for the info about MSCRC. That might come in handy in the future when we actually get rolling with homeschooling. 😀
I am clueless about the differences in the denominatons you write about here. I’ve been a member of a Southern Baptist church since I was 8 and gave my life publically to my Saviour. I did have insurance through the Lutherans (Thrivent) for some years during my newlywed days (as my in-laws had some connections to the Lutheran church), and I find it surprising they’d do business with me but deny my practice of taking communion. I did not know this!
I am clueless about the differences in the denominatons you write about here. I’ve been a member of a Southern Baptist church since I was 8 and gave my life publically to my Saviour. I did have insurance through the Lutherans (Thrivent) for some years during my newlywed days (as my in-laws had some connections to the Lutheran church), and I find it surprising they’d do business with me but deny my practice of taking communion. I did not know this!
Interesting.
I was raised nondenominational. 🙂 I attended a Baptist church, and later a Grace Brethren church, while in college and graduate school. I remember being mystified by denominationalism. I still sort of am, I suppose…
Interesting.
I was raised nondenominational. 🙂 I attended a Baptist church, and later a Grace Brethren church, while in college and graduate school. I remember being mystified by denominationalism. I still sort of am, I suppose…
I just find it sad, sad, sad. I have been in many different situations and there always seems to be someone pointing fingers at another church/denomination. Which is pretty much why we attend a non-denominational, community-driven, non-organized church now. We worship, serve the community we live in, and there is little else we have to “organize” or adhere to. Works for some, not others.
I just find it sad, sad, sad. I have been in many different situations and there always seems to be someone pointing fingers at another church/denomination. Which is pretty much why we attend a non-denominational, community-driven, non-organized church now. We worship, serve the community we live in, and there is little else we have to “organize” or adhere to. Works for some, not others.
Lindsey, it is pretty bad that we can’t see beyond all the nitty gritty “nonessentials”, and just seek unity with other believers. I think this is something the Church (as in the body of believers, regardless of denomination) needs to do to be more effective.
Lindsey, it is pretty bad that we can’t see beyond all the nitty gritty “nonessentials”, and just seek unity with other believers. I think this is something the Church (as in the body of believers, regardless of denomination) needs to do to be more effective.
I wanted to add that when a church denomination begins to act like a country club, I wonder if that is pleasing to God?
I wanted to add that when a church denomination begins to act like a country club, I wonder if that is pleasing to God?