This is one of those things that is so brilliant I wish I had thought of it!

The setup in case you aren’t familiar…

The Danvers Statement on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood is the complementarian manifesto put out by the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood. You can read it here: Danvers Statement.

This is the link to The Inverse Statement on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood which includes:

1) Creation, masculinity and femininity

1.1 Male neediness of a woman is not because of the fall, but God-ordained. A world without women was called “not good” (Gen 2:18) while the same was never said of a world without men.

1.2 God makes man from dust, (Gen 2:7) and turns the dust into something higher. God makes woman from man, (Gen 2:22) and turns the man into something higher.

1.3 Eve is called a helper, (Gen 2:18,20) as God is called the helper (Deu 33:7; Ps 33:20) of needy men. Strength, aide, rescuer, and strong ally are other ways to understand the word helper. This denotes that woman is superior to man as God is superior to him.

1.4 Eve sins by deception (1 Ti 2:14), while Adam is the deliberate sinner (1 Ti 2:14; Rom 5:14-19). God has mercy on non-deliberate sin (1 Ti 1:13), but the world is cursed and sin enters it through Adam (Gen 3:17; Rom 5:15-19), with his deliberate sin.

1.5 This sin introduced distortions in the male/female relationship:

1.5.1 In marriage, the humble, thankful submission of man to his strong benefactor, the woman, is replaced by a desire to rule over her (Gen 3:16). And the wife’s intelligent, willing strength (Proverbs 31) is replaced with a doormat attitude or domination.

It ends with:

3.8 Men should not despair when hearing of the female-centredness of God’s plan, as God also made them in His image, (Gen 1:26-27) and they share equally in the gift of salvation (Gal. 3:28), if they rejoice in and willingly submit to his plans. These plans include the plan of thankfully submitting (Heb 13:17) to their rescuers, both God who rescued them from sin, (Jas 4:7) and women, who rescued them from loneliness (Gen 2:18) and is the enemy of Satan, watching over the souls of men ( Gen 3:15a, Heb 13:17).

Yes, it is satire. Brilliant.