This week I received an invitation to write on a website dedicated to Christian egalitarian marriage. David and I have always had an egalitarian marriage except for a brief, depressing foray into a patriarchal period. But even though we’ve almost always had an egalitarian marriage, we never publicly called ourselves egalitarian in any way, shape or form until recently.

In reflecting on why that is, I realized there are a number of ways that biblical egalitarians undermine the message they are trying to get out. Many of these were obstacles I had to overcome myself over the period of many years. Here are six ways I think egalitarians sometimes detract from their message.

1. Using profanity on their blogs.

You won’t find profanity on the major egalitarian websites, but a significant number of the most popular egalitarian blogs that I’ve come across use profanity. Obviously they believe they have the freedom to do so. Unfortunately I think it is a big turnoff and even a stumbling block to many complementarians who visit their site. I have hesitated to even link to some blogs because of the presence of profanity. It distracts from the message and, in my opinion, probably drives seeking complementarians away.

2. Neglecting to address the fear issue.

In all my reading about Christian egalitarianism I don’t think I’ve ever read a post about helping people face the fear of moving from a complementarian position to egalitarian. The fear issue is a major obstacle for many to overcome (and I would count myself in this camp).

• It almost always means a loss of friends if you run in any kind of complementarian circle.
• It means facing suspicion from other church members.
• It can mean a loss of leadership opportunities at church.

If you label yourself egalitarian in many circles, you will immediately be written off. Period. End of discussion. Addressing how to overcome this fear and how to effectively deal with the fallout would be beneficial.

3. Failure to promote the beauty and health of biblical egalitarianism.

Many of the blogs I have read can tend toward being more reactionary in their tone. I think part of this is because people write out of their pain. They are so glad to be experiencing their new freedom that they can write rather harshly about the views they previously held rather than writing beautifully about the views they now embrace. If biblical egalitarianism is viewed primarily as a rejection of complementarianism instead of the embracing of something biblical and beautiful, then a great opportunity is lost.

4. Not dealing with the plain reading of the text issue.

I think this is one of the main obstacles that must be overcome. Unfortunately so many Christians today have such a poor understanding of the Scriptures that they are not equipped to deal with issues such as the language, setting, etc. of the Bible. Many people in the pew think that the English version they are holding is an exact word for word translation from the original language. It seems so obvious to them that the plain reading of the text is right there, written in easy to understand English. In their mind, people must have unholy motives or rebellious spirits not to see what is as plain as the nose on their face. Simply educating people on how we get our Bible versions would be a start.

5. Too much sarcasm and belittling of the complementarian view.

Sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ is best done in a kind and thoughtful way. In the same way, writing about and discussing the ideas of biblical egalitarianism should be done in a kind and thoughtful way. If someone who embraces a complementarian view comes to a blog filled with sarcasm and negative references to that view, how likely are they to stay and participate? The blogger and commenters are attacking this person’s deeply held belief. If people have stepped out of their comfort zone enough to read about biblical egalitarianism, they should be met with graciousness and encouragement.

6. Failing to bridge the gap from academic study.

Most people do not have the time to read endless books on the reasons egalitarianism is a viable view that honors the Scriptures and God. Egalitarians need to do a better job of breaking down their view into easy to understand ideas. They can’t assume that everyone reading their blog will have spent hours pouring over the theological background of the view.

After years of reading about this topic I can read an article promoting complementarianism and refute much of it off the top of my head. But the average person is not going to spend years studying this topic unless it impacts them directly. Somehow egalitarians need to do a better job of telling the story of the Scriptures and history that makes clear the validity of the egalitarian view.