With the advent of the current health situation and now other developing circumstances, many parents are facing a dilemma regarding school this fall. For the first time, you may be seriously considering pulling your child from traditional school and pursuing homeschooling.
In this post, I’m going to help you begin to sort out the big questions. It’s virtually impossible to answer all of the questions that could be asked in only one post. However, I can help you significantly narrow down your thinking so you are better equipped to move forward. First, I’m going to give you some basic clarification questions to ask yourself. Then I’m going to give you some things to think about based on my personal perspective.
In case you’ve never read anything I’ve written before this, here’s a tiny bit of my background so you’ll know where I’ve been and where I am now. I’ve spent my entire adult life in education and homeschooling so I do believe I can help many families trying to sort this out.
- I’m a former elementary school teacher in private, Christian, and classical Christian schools.
- I have always homeschooled our only child, a daughter who is currently 13 and will be starting 8th grade.
- We are Relaxed Homeschoolers meaning that we see ourselves as a family first and education flows out of that.
- My daughter is gifted/2e which means she has tested as both gifted and has a learning difference.
So let’s jump in!
Questions To Help You Think About Potentially Homeschooling
I’ve put together a series of questions to help you clarify what you want to accomplish this year. There is no right or wrong answer. These are simply geared toward helping you clarify for yourself exactly what it is you want.
Knowing the answers to these questions will also be helpful as you read about homeschooling and talk to other homeschoolers. Telling someone that you want to homeschool is kind of like telling someone you want to buy a car. There are lots of questions that a car dealer would ask you in order to get you in the right car. These are questions that will help point you down the right homeschooling path.
Why are you considering homeschooling this fall?
- I’m concerned about medical safety and/or physical safety
- I think the social distancing plans for the schools are not appropriate for my children
- I realized during the lockdown that I want to homeschool my kids
- My kids have asked to be homeschooled
What are your goals for this year?
- Give things time to settle down so I can send my child back to school second semester or next year
- Basically do school at home but without the school telling us what to do
- Try homeschooling, but keep the option of going back to school
- Switch to homeschooling permanently
What is your goal for next year?
- Send my children back to school full-time
- Continue homeschooling
- It depends on how things go
What do your kids need academically?
- School curriculum that aligns with Common Core
- Accountability to someone other than me
- Structure, but in a homeschool kind of way
- Freedom to explore their interests with input from me
- Time to heal from a bad school experience
- My kids receive special services for learning challenges
- My child is gifted/2e
What do you need as a homeschooling mom?
- I need to be able to work from/at home so my kids need something highly self-directed
- I need something that will walk me through every step since I find the idea of being responsible for my kids’ education overwhelming
- I need something that helps me relax and enjoy my kids
- I have no idea what I need because there are so many conflicting opinions about homeschool methods and philosophies
What will successful homeschooling look like to you at the end of the year?
- We complete the curriculum I buy
- My kids are ready to join their age cohort in school next fall and don’t lose any ground in the Common Core process
- We will have successfully transitioned to a homeschooling family
What is your biggest worry about homeschooling?
- Socialization for my kids
- Financial
- My own well-being
- Not being able to meet my kid’s academic needs
- Not being able to make my kids do the work
- My kids will fall behind the Common Core and struggle the rest of their school lives
Reflecting On Your Answers
As I said, there are no right and wrong answers. The right answers are the honest ones that will help you make the best choice. I’m going to guess that after doing that exercise, you fall into one of these general camps.
- I will keep my kids home for their well-being, but plan on sending them back as soon as possible and don’t want them to lose any ground in the Common Core process.
- I am pretty sure I will send them back, but Common Core requirements aren’t a concern and I just want them to learn and keep up.
- I think I want to keep homeschooling, but I am uncertain or nervous.
- I am all in on homeschooling.
Those four general camps make it a bit easier to provide general direction. And please recognize that this is very general advice to just get you started. I could write multiple posts about all of these options.
- If you are in the first camp, then you probably want to look at an online school with teachers/proctors or boxed grade level curriculum that is aligned with Common Core. You can also look into distance learning options that align with Common Core.
- If you are in the second group and don’t have to consider Common Core in your plans, then you have a bit more flexibility. You will want to pay close attention to math because that is the one highly sequential subject that would make it more challenging for your students to slide back into school if you do decide to send them back at some point.
- If you are in the third or fourth groups, you have the most flexibility. You can take a deep breath and give yourself the opportunity to think about what you truly want for your family, your children, and their education. Since you are not focused on keeping them in step with their age cohort, you have a lot more leeway.
5 Things I Think You Should Consider
In closing, I want to share a few things I think everyone should consider.
(This is the part where I’m offering my personal opinions as a parent, homeschooler, and former educator. This is also the part where I try to persuade at least some of you to go all in on homeschooling.)
Understand That Homeschoolers Are Struggling, Too
The lockdown has taken a toll on homeschoolers, too. Contrary to what homeschool detractors like to say, homeschooling is not about staying home all the time. Most homeschoolers are actively involved in many outside activities. (This is why we laugh at the socialization question/objection.) My child lost out on her homeschool co-op, volunteer positions, and other outside activities. She misses seeing her friends and activity leaders.
So switching to homeschooling under the current circumstances is not going to be what homeschooling usually looks like. Depending on the state of things in the fall, many of the activities that homeschoolers enjoy could also be shut down. So I strongly encourage you not to judge your potential homeschooling experience by what is going on now. This has been tough on all of us.
There are opportunities for homeschoolers to interact with others. Are they ideal or what we normally expect? No. We are all having to think outside the box right now. But we are and we will because we are a creative and resilient group of people.
So, no, you may not be able to replace the activities your children love. If your child wants to be in marching band, there are homeschool marching bands. But they may or may not be happening. There are choirs, sports teams, debate groups, and all kinds of homeschool activities that most kids slide into when they leave a traditional school. You may not be able to do that in the current situation. You may have to find alternatives just like current homeschoolers have had to do in recent months.
The Guidelines Being Issued For Schools Are Inhumane
I’m not pulling any punches with this one. I’ve seen the guidelines that are surfacing regarding what will be happening in the schools this fall and they are horrible. There is no other way to spin this.
I’m not going to apologize for being truthful. In fact, I would guess that this is one of the reasons you are reading this post and still with me. You KNOW they are inhumane.
No recess, no gym, no lunchroom, no art, no music, no library, no social interaction, no sharing supplies, no leaving the classroom. Staying at your desk all day. Days at school and days not at school so no flow or continuity with the days and weeks.
There is NO ONE who thinks this is good for kids. I know that there are families who will have no other choice and I grieve for them. But no one in their right mind would suggest this will lead to children flourishing.
But if you have a choice, then exercise that choice for the sake of your kids – even if you have to sacrifice to do it. Believe me when I say that there are a lot of homeschoolers who have sacrificed a great deal to educate their children at home. A lot. Careers, retirement savings, vacations, a nice home in a nice neighborhood, etc. The list goes on and on.
If your gut is telling you that this socially distanced school plan would be bad for your kid, LISTEN TO YOUR GUT. You know your child. This is going to be psychologically damaging for many kids. If you think you should keep your child out, then find a way to do it.
Give Your Child The Greatest Freedom
You need to choose what will benefit your child the most and I believe this includes giving your child the greatest freedom. Freedom may look different now, but there is far more freedom at home than in school.
I spent most of my teaching years in the lower elementary grades and I will tell you this. These guidelines being issued are especially horrific for little ones. If you have a PK, K, 1st, or 2nd grade child, please strongly consider keeping him/her home. Yes, I am literally begging you to not send your little one to school if you have the option.
Your little child needs to be able to run around outside, play, be creative, etc. That cannot happen effectively in a socially distanced and highly controlled school. It simply cannot.
You can teach your small child to read, write, and do math. If you have access to books, a computer, the internet, a printer, creative supplies, and the ability to play outside, you have enough. Truly. The internet is full of posts helping homeschoolers work with their small children. It is truly doable if you desire to do it.
School At Home Is The Worst Of Both Worlds
This isn’t to disparage the teachers who had distance teaching thrust on them. I am certain the vast majority of them are trying to do the best they can. But from a learning standpoint, it is the worst.
Teachers are trained to teach to a group. That is the essence of the current classroom – teach to the middle of the pack and catch as many as you can. It simply doesn’t effectively replicate over a computer screen.
As a parent, you also get the worst of it. You are expected to keep your children occupied at home, make sure they keep to the schedule when they need to sign in, and you get no input over your children’s education. You are constantly waiting for someone to give you permission to do something or tell you what to do. Most parents are capable of much more.
There is also the issue of equity and this is a big one. I read discussions online of teachers being told they could not teach anything because if they weren’t delivering an equitable education to every child in their class, the school could be sued. I’m not going to get into the philosophical arguments about this. Just know that the buzzword equity is driving a lot of what is or isn’t happening in your child’s remote public education and it may not have your child’s best interest in mind at all.
In a Crazy Time, Peace Of Mind Is Best For Your and Your Child
If you believe that things are going to be crazy for some time, then homeschooling is probably your best option starting now. Make the decision now and run with it. There are three overarching reasons I’ll leave you with.
- Continuity – Your family will have a structure and plan. Rather than starting traditional school, being forced to switch to school at home, and then desperately trying to switch mid-year to homeschooling, go all-in with homeschooling in whatever form you are comfortable with. Make the decision and go with it. You can always change your mind and go back to traditional school next year if things improve.
- Psychological – Do not underestimate the impact all of this is having on you and your kids. Choosing to homeschool gives you and your children a measure of control over your lives. In times of difficulty, it’s important to feel that you have control over aspects of your life.
- Physical – Kids need room to be kids. They need to play outside. We all need to be out in nature. Traditional school already takes this away from kids. With these new socially distanced guidelines it will be truly horrific from the physical standpoint. Homeschool your kids and know that they can play outside every day, something they truly need.
I sincerely wish you the best as you make decisions for your family. Feel free to leave a comment or question and I’ll try to do my best to point you to any additional information you need. I want you and your children to be happy, successful, and confident in your choices.
Micki Santiago
I swear you wrote this article just for me, Sallie! All these things have crossed my mind. My biggest fear is failing my kids in all of this. But, I am almost certain the school they left March 12, 2020, will not exist for quite some time, if ever again. So much to consider, but this article is super helpful! Thank you for taking the time to write it.
Sallie Borrink
Hi Micki,
I’m glad this was helpful. I’ve been thinking about it for a few weeks and started writing this a few days ago.
People reading our comments won’t be aware of this, but we know each other in real life (and are related by marriage). I can confidently say knowing you and your family that you can do this and you’ll do it well. You want to do well and you are conscientious. I have zero doubts you can homeschool your kids.
Feel free to ask questions. I have lots of information on my site I can point you to and I know so many homeschoolers of different types that I can help you find whatever you need.
Sallie
Micki
Thank you for the vote of confidence. I was feeling pretty good about my capabilities until I looked at the amount of curriculum available, and it overwhelms me and makes me rethink everything.
If you wouldn’t mind pointing me to other areas on your blog about all this, I’d really appreciate that.
Also, with Ryan going into high school in the fall, if I home school, I want to provide him with similar, or equal, opportunities he’d get in a traditional school. He’s an extremely talented musician (and Amy seems to be on a similar path with her musical abilities), and right now he’s leaning toward the music field as a profession. And that is what makes me the most hesitant. The music education program is off the chain at Plainwell, and I don’t want to short change the kids in that area.
Any help weeding through any portion of this is much appreciated.
Sallie Borrink
Hi Micki,
Think of this like a flowchart of decision making if that will help make it less confusing and overwhelming.
First question (and tell me if I’m wrong) – It sounds like you would prefer to send him back to school at some point when you feel it is appropriate/safe/wise. It also sounds like he will be college track to possibly pursue a music degree.
So if I’m understanding you correctly, you would want to determine the academic classes he would be taking at school this coming year and duplicate them at home. That is the “easy” part. There’s a million options out there and that can be sorted out. Back to that in a minute.
The second part is the music aspect. That is much trickier if homeschool co-ops and such are not operating. There are many ways to do private lessons online so there is no reason he can’t continue to develop as a musician. He will miss out on the group aspect for a year. But I cannot imagine any college or university holding that against him given the circumstances. He’ll miss out on the fun and experience of it, but I can’t see how it would hold him back in the future in terms of college. If he’s gifted and continues to work on his skills, he’ll be fine. (Given that colleges and universities are in the process of collapsing, admissions will probably be greatly changed by the time he applies anyway.)
Then it becomes a question of if you trust the state/Whitmer/local schools to do the right thing this fall. If the music aspect of it is so overwhelming for Ryan that he’s willing to put up with all of the social distancing stuff in order to participate, then that would be your answer. It’s a trade off you all will have to decide to make or not. Does the desire to (potentially) participate in school music programs outweigh all of the other potential garbage? (Sorry, but this is Whitmer leading this so I cannot see anything going well no matter how great your local public school district is.)
Music (symphonic band, marching band, choir, chorale) was everything to me in high school and I was a music major at Michigan State for a while so I’m very sympathetic. Homeschooling didn’t exist then, but music was what ordered my high school experience more than anything. On the other hand, I have always abhorred upheaval so I’m not sure the music would have been enough to make me want to go to school if given the option. I know this is a tough call.
Re: the academic subjects. That’s easy to figure out once you make a decision. Do you want text books? Online learning? Do you want to oversee it or do you want to pay someone to oversee it? Once you make a few big decisions like that, you can quickly narrow things down in terms of what is best. I know it doesn’t seem simple, but if you want to follow the public school academic guidance, you can easily set that up for homeschooling.
Thoughts?
Sallie
Sallie Borrink
One other thought re: the music. There are many people who deliberately choose to homeschool their musically inclined kids so they have more time to invest in their music. The same goes for kids with other creative skills and interests.
For example, David has said many times that Caroline is far beyond his artistic abilities at the same age. She’s had massive amounts of time to develop her skills that he never had because he was stuck in school.
Homeschoolers have way more time to invest in their individual interests than those who attend traditional schools. It won’t look the same, but it actually can give them many more opportunities.
Sallie