INFJ burnout is a real thing. There are loads of articles and videos about it online so I’m not fleshing that out here. I realize writing this kind of post is probably counter-productive in some ways. I probably write too many posts about the challenges of life at the moment. However, that’s where my life is and has been for some time. For the past 20 years, I’ve always been honest. I abhor hypocrisy and so I am honest about my life.
At one time, I wrote these kinds of posts because they resonated with people. I could see God leading people here to read particular posts at the right time because they would leave comments or send me emails. Now? No one can even find my website. So I’m not sure if this will help anyone. But this is my blog and this post can serve as a marker of what’s been going on the past year or so, especially over the summer.
If anything has happened over the past five years that truly concerns me, it is the fact that I have found myself increasingly apathetic and even numb to the problems and suffering of others outside of the four walls of my home. This is not like me and I attribute it to INFJ burnout.
Pouring your life into things that are emotionally draining leads to burnout. Burnout leads to apathy. We’ve had things happen recently in our broader life circle that are genuinely sad and I’ve registered nary an emotional response. I know I should care and I know as an academic exercise that I do. But I haven’t. It’s very telling.
No, I’m not depressed. I’m blessed and grateful and thankful for my life overall. There’s nothing wrong with me except I’m burned out.
David and I have had some significant shifts in our theology over the past year and a half. On the one hand, it’s been exciting because it has made so many topics in the Bible make sense. But on the other hand, it’s also been very isolating. There is no one in real life to discuss it with. We can’t discuss these topics at church because it would be divisive and we have no desire to be divisive. But when you can’t discuss the Bible and things of God at church, there’s something both wrong and stressful about it. Being at church has been stressful. I’ve missed many weeks over the past year when I just couldn’t deal with it. It’s not that there is anything wrong with our church. It’s a good church as churches go. But as an INFJ and thinker, it feels empty and shallow to me when I can’t connect with anyone about the most important parts of my spiritual life.
Over the summer, three medical/health people I’ve depended on have either retired or let me down. My allergist (who I see regarding my EoE) retired out of the blue. My dentist (who I see because most dentists can’t get me numb) also retired. The specialist I worked with regarding my hair loss passed away out of the blue in March 2020. I’ve tried to be patient and gracious with the woman who bought out his business, but she has utterly failed me. I finally had to deal with the situation myself this summer which was an involved process and also very stressful. I didn’t even fully comprehend how much that situation was stressing me out the past two years until I was able to resolve it about a week ago.
So it’s been a stressful summer in this regard. I have always found it difficult to trust medical/health professionals because of the weird quirks of my body. Watching what has transpired in the medical establishment the past five years has only intensified that lack of trust. Starting over with new people I don’t know is stressful.
I’ve tried to figure out what to do with my online work and it feels like nothing I do makes a difference. I’ve sought out advice, read, watched videos, dug into AI, etc. No one has any idea what is going on or how it will ever fix itself. I’ve watched 20 years worth of work be reduced to almost nothing because tech billionaires are making choices that crush regular online people. I’ve already written about this a few times so that’s all I’ll say about that.
On top of all that, I finally looked into some weird patterns I noticed with my online traffic on all three websites. I knew that AI bots and such were scanning my site. That’s just reality now. Without going into the details, I also came to the conclusion that my websites are probably also getting scanned by NSA because of the topics that I’ve written about. It’s probably just a matter-of-fact operation that happens because they scan everyone who writes about <insert things you aren’t supposed to discuss here>. I’ve even joked in recent years about probably being on all kinds of lists because of wrong think. But it’s still stressful when you can see for yourself that it’s probably happening in real time, regularly every day.
So knowing that AI is constantly scraping stealing my content and that I’m probably being actively monitored for wrong think hasn’t added any peace to my life. I can take down the Sallie’s Rebuilding America website which is full of wrong think and I can remove the wrong think from Thinking About Theology. But if no one can find the websites, then why in the world would I leave them up so AI can constantly scan my content to steal from it?
I think part of the reason AI is so willing to give you ideas regarding how to improve your website is so they can more easily steal from you. AI only exists because it steals the content people are constantly creating every day. Why would I write for free and allow them to constantly steal from me? I’d rather take the websites down and only post here where they can’t easily steal and replicate because it is primarily personal. I’m not alone in this thinking. So many people have stopped writing and making videos because they have realized the same thing. The real threat AI faces is that enough people stop producing new material so AI has nothing new of value to scan.
AI will give you every trick in the book regarding how to make your website better for SEO and being used by AI. There is no freaking way I believe that AI is going to refer enough traffic back to me to justify spending literally weeks and months of my life tailoring my website layout and content to their specifications. I’ve already gone down that path with Google, Teachers Pay Teachers, Pinterest, and who knows what else over the past 20 years. Even for people with huge websites and budgets, none of it worked for more than 12-18 months before it was all changed again. As I think about what AI is suggesting I do, I’ve come to the conclusion I would be nuts to do what it is suggesting. There is probably nothing in it for me and everything for the AI systems.
So, yes. Burnout and apathy. That’s where I am. I’ve lost my resiliency and don’t quickly bounce back the way I did in the past. And now I don’t even want to bounce back to dive back in on a lot of it because of a system completely rigged against me.
I’m not sure what I’m going to do. But I was glad I could finally identify what was going on in the big picture and put a name to it all.
Updated to add: Don’t miss the content I added in the comments below. It adds quite a bit to this post and discussion.










Three Pieces of Christian Parenting Advice
I decided to ask AI about my observations. This is the question I asked each one below.
This is exactly what would expect from ChatGPT. (Read that with a bit of snark, please.)
Arya (Gab AI) – This is also what I would expect from Arya. A more straightforward and truthful answer.
Gemini is one I rarely use. This one took a loooong time to come up with an answer.
Perplexity
Claude Sonnet 4 – Another one I rarely use, but asked it the same question.
It’s funny reading this one now. Claude and Arya are my favorite AI options right now. I had hardly used Claude when I wrote this. I frequently use it now.
Reading those makes AI so creepy. I rarely use AI except on occasion and when I google now AI is what come up first. I really don’t like that cuz you know it’s scanning content from areas that are not always accurate. I would prefer to see the actual sources, not something that is generated from a question you might ask.
I can understand your frustrations overall. With our generation, it feels like life is changing so fast, the world is changing so fast, and I just am dissatisfied/frustrated with many areas, the church being one of them, among various other things.
Thanks for sharing.
You occasionally get traction on your social media posts, and you have influence there, if not income. I’m picturing your work as a current of electricity whipping around in search of a path to flow along; it has a hard time connecting, but when it does…!!!
I’m “micro-publishing” my next book, literally in-house with whatever printing tech I can cobble together, and primarily for a family audience.
Before my sabbatical I made a list of the major stressful events that had happened since the previous one. It was helpful to see them all laid out on one piece of paper.
I have just gone through quite the emotions over this posting. I sometimes get stressed over things that I don’t understand and then when I understand them more, I still have apprehensions and angst when it involves such an encompassing aspect of our lives, like what you just wrote about. Yet, I am very appreciative of your great mind and your honesty and your faith in God. Thank you for taking the time to do this and write about it. It has helped me. On my part, I will trust God and continue to live the simple, quiet life I am!
It is discouraging for sure. The responses of the various AI was rather amusing, and not too surprising.