A Quiet Simple Life | Sallie Borrink

For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:23

A Quiet Simple Life

You are here: Home / Archives for Christian Living

Christian Living

Christian Women Who Love Wallowing In Sin


The other day I read a post by a prominent Christian blogger that left me saddened and concerned. It reflected what I have come to see in recent months as a pervasive problem in segments of the church. I’m not linking to the post because I have no quibbles with this blogger. I am simply profoundly sad for this person and many others who were agreeing with the post.

The problem?

Wallowing in sin.

Wallowing In Sin

No, I’m not talking about going out and purposely doing sinful things. I’m also not talking about choosing to do sinful things and continuing in the sin.

  • I’m referring to living in a mindset of sinfulness, constantly thinking the worst of yourself. Seeing yourself every day as this horrible sinner.
  • Questioning your every motive, every inclination of your heart. Being sure that there must be some horrible selfishness behind every action.
  • Constantly thinking that you aren’t measuring up to what Jesus did for you on the cross. He did so much and you are so wretchedly wicked and awful and selfish and on and on and on.

It is like there is an entire growing segment of the church that has the idea that we must live in the depressing awareness of our sins (past, present, and future) all the time.

There Is No Condemnation For Those In Christ Jesus

Jesus Christ did not die on the cross and rise from the dead so we can walk around in constant condemnation.

  • There is therefore no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 8:1)
  • He came that we might have life and have it more abundantly. (John 10:10)
  • If the Son sets you free, you are free indeed. (John 8:36)

This introspective, self-flagellating focus on sin is just so wrong.

Yes, we will still sin. Yes, we should confess our sins. But our sins are remembered no more (Hebrews 8:12) and our sins should not define who we are each day.

Our identity should be in Christ.

Our focus should be on Christ, rejoicing in what He accomplished for us on the cross.

  • We are no longer slaves to sin. (Romans 6:6)

Are we to proclaim ourselves terrible sinners? Are we to parade our sins before others in a display of one-upmanship to show the world how we are truly wretched?

Are we to boast of our sin?

  • May I never boast except in the cross of our Lord Jesus Christ, through which the world has been crucified to me, and I to the world. (Galatians 6:14)

We cannot boast of saving ourselves. Neither should we boast of our sinfulness after confessing our sins and recognizing Jesus as Savior and Lord.

We can never live up to what Jesus did on the cross. That is the whole point. We can never do enough for Him in comparison to what He did for us. To try to live up to what He did means that we think we can somehow repay Him for what He did. We cannot repay Him. And trying to do so by wallowing in our sinfulness is pointless.

Do we share the Good News of Jesus Christ with others? You know. The Good News that your sins are forgiven eternally, but you must continue to wallow in them in bondage here on earth?

What kind of Good News is it if we continue to beat ourselves up for our forgiven sin? What do we tell the lost? “Come to Jesus. You, too, can be miserable on earth even though you have been washed as white as snow (Isaiah 1:18).”

Dearly Beloved, you are loved and accepted by God. Wallow in your sin no more. Rejoice in your salvation. Walk in your freedom!

Category: Tag:  |  | 15 Comments

Being Led By The Holy Spirit


I recently celebrated my seventh blogging anniversary and, like most of them, it passed without any mention because I never think about it until well after the fact. While cleaning out some things on my old site, I reflected on the vast number of people I’ve come into contact with over the past seven years. There are some who stopped by my site once, some who read for years and then left, and others I’ve known online for the full seven years.

Among them, I was considering the significant number of people who no longer blog or have substantially changed their blogging approach.

Legalism and Being Led By the Holy Spirit

One thing that I struggled with the first few years of blogging was the number of bloggers who spoke so strongly and with such authority about issues that I personally found challenging to make the same assertions. Women, many years my junior in most cases, wrote with such authority. They were dogmatic in their assertions. They belittled those who held different views. They deleted comments of those who didn’t agree with them. There was a definite chorus of women blogging with authority on matters that were secondary issues being made into primary issues.

As I was going through the list of the bloggers I could think of who fit this profile, it was striking to me the changes that have occurred.

  • Some don’t blog at all.
  • Some still blog but only mention theology in tangential ways and instead stick to stories about family and home.
  • Some changed their views and stopped writing the dogma they no longer believed.
  • Some still blog, but have gone from having a completely Christian blog to chasing a bigger audience that draws in a variety of readers beyond professing Christians and is therefore more financially profitable.
  • Some still blog and are just as shrill in their condemnation of those who disagree with them.
  • Some have sadly left the Christian faith altogether.

I always struggled with the fact that I didn’t feel the same boldness to assert This. Is. The. Truth. And. You. Must. Walk. In. It. To. Be. A. True. Christian. Part of it was the fact that I was coming out of a difficult and confusing theological time in which David and I had been bombarded on every side by manipulative people who dogmatically insisted that we were wrong about issues. We faced many “My way or the highway” moments with other Christians.

In every case, by the complete grace of God, we chose the highway. But after such experiences I struggled to even trust my own ability to read the Scriptures and understand them for myself. If you’ve ever gone through a time such as this, you will know what I mean.

Encouraging Others To Grow In Christ

Another part of my reluctance to blog “with authority” was the fact that I have a very healthy fear of leading others astray. I have no desire to burden others with theological ideas that are either untrue or place a yoke of legalism on them. And so I continued to raise the questions even as others wrote strongly and convincingly of hot topic and issues.

Over the past few months, God has been gracious to show me the fruit of these past few years. And He has once again shown why I pray so often for His restraining hand to protect me from making mistakes.

When I wrote the new little blurb for this site, I wrote:

My desire is to see people grow in Christ. I believe in the power of the Holy Spirit to work in each person’s life. To that end, I ask lots of questions here and regularly provide links to resources that I believe will challenge people to examine their faith. I don’t have all the answers, but I enjoy learning and sharpening my faith with others.

And I mean it with every fiber of my being. I do want to see people grow in Christ. I believe in the power of the Holy Spirit to work in each person’s life. I don’t have all the answers.

Encouraging Others To Follow the Holy Spirit

This all came together in a new way for me the past few weeks. I’ve been following many of the stories coming out about prominent pastors and other church leaders who have left a string of abuses and devastated believers. Celebrity pastors are, in my humble opinion, a scourge on the church that are causing untold problems that are only starting to come into the light. We have hundreds of thousands of people following celebrity Christians into harm and bondage rather than following Christ into freedom and joy. After a decade or more, the fruit is beginning to come forth.

When I was listening to Wade Burleson’s sermon on Hebrews 10 last Sunday on echurch at Wartburg, he said something that validated all my struggles in this area. Around the fifteen minute mark, Pastor Wade is telling the story of a woman who comes to him seeking counsel about what to do about a difficult situation. He asks her questions about the issue and encourages her to do what she believes the Holy Spirit has put upon her heart. He then says:

I don’t ever tell anybody what they should do. I empower people to hear the Spirit within.

It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? And yet how many Christians are willing to let the Holy Spirit truly lead those around them? How many Christian leaders are willing to allow their congregations to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit? Instead we have codes and laws and expectations that nearly crush people with the weight of it all.

And how many Christians really want to be led by the Holy Spirit? I mean, really truly want to be led by the Holy Spirit?

Frankly, many do not. It is evident by the number of Christians who are looking for a celebrity pastor or celebrity author to tell them what to do. People flock to seminars whether it is on parenting, homeschooling, living the Christian life, or the current topic du jour. They want a checklist. They want the four steps. They want the manual for how to correctly discipline their children so they will follow Christ turn out perfectly. They want the guidelines for how to dress or eat or organize their lives.

They want to know they are Doing. It. Right.

They want to feel in control and having a checklist means feeling confident and in control.

Being led by the Holy Spirit? That seems downright scary.

Wait for the Spirit to move or speak to me or guide me? You mean I have to take a chance that I might not be discerning correctly? You mean I have to let go of my checklist and take the proverbial step of faith? You mean I might not feel in control?

Yes, that’s what I mean.

Do I do it perfectly? Of course not. Ever since the difficult time David and I went through, I have struggled to walk consistently with the Holy Spirit. I am still rooting out the bad theology even though I know better.

Parenting and Being Led By the Holy Spirit

It is my prayer to raise Caroline to be led by the Holy Spirit. How that will look and work out in the years ahead… I have no idea. I am trying to walk by the Holy Spirit myself in this regard and not follow the wisdom of man. There are days I desperately want to find a book or website that will tell me exactly what to do so I will Do. It. All. Right.

I read the websites of other Christian women who appear to Have. It. All. Together. and feel the temptation to envy them and their neat checklists of how they are raising Perfect Christian Children according to these Twenty Simple Steps. But I know that is not the way to parent Caroline.

Caroline (age 5) has professed no interest in Christ to this point. But one way we are attempting to prepare her for this is by not giving her a list of things people must do to be a good Christian. We are doing our best to not tell her that a good Christian will do A, B, and C. We try not to use legalistic language when we discuss decisions, situations, and the means of grace.

We are telling her that God loves her, God cares about the things in her life, and God will always help her if she asks. We talk about sin and why Jesus came. We try very hard to not make her perform so she will not believe that her value to us and to God is based on her performance. We are trying to walk by the Spirit as we parent.

It is my prayer that all of us will experience a fresh moving of the Holy Spirit in our lives. I hope we will all know the joy of seeing the Holy Spirit at work and that our faith will be strengthened and we will be emboldened for Christ because of it.

Category: 5 Comments

Introverts, the Work Place, and Mission Trips


Yesterday I read How to Accomplish More by Doing Less (no longer available) and my mind wandered about this topic. I thought about the idea of taking breaks at work and how funny it seems for me as an introvert that someone would need to tell someone to take a break. For an introvert, taking a break isn’t a luxury. It’s self-preservation.

When I was teaching elementary school, there was a strong emphasis put on the fact that planning time was PLANNING time, not personal time. So planning time was not to be used to make a personal phone call, read a book, etc. As an introvert that always rubbed me the wrong way. Why? Because the best thing I could do with my planning time was take care of myself by escaping into a book for ten or fifteen minutes. After being with students for a number of hours, the best way to ensure that I could keep doing a good job the rest of the day was to do something for myself. Unfortunately schools don’t necessarily see it that way. You are on the school’s dime so you better be working.

This morning I was thinking about mission trips. I never went on a mission trip. When I was younger they weren’t the big thing to do. Almost no one went on international travel for just a week to “do” missions. And even if I had the opportunity to do it now, I wouldn’t go. I know myself too well to put myself into that kind of situation. I remember when I went to Urbana as an InterVarsity staff member. Me and I don’t know how many thousands and thousands of students, staff, and missionaries descended the on the University of Illinois for a week-long conference about missions. Surrounded by hundreds and thousands of people day in and day out where you are supposed to network, be friendly, participate, worship, interact, etc., I was beyond emotionally and mentally (and physically) exhausted by the end of the week.

It would be interesting to know how well introverts do on mission trips. I can imagine it would go something like this…

Day 1 – Arrive wherever we are going physically exhausted and tired of being around people

Day 2 – Throw myself into whatever we are doing and push myself to be fully engaged because that is what I am there for

Day 3 – Wake up feeling slightly depressed at the thought of another day of being on all day with a group of people but drag myself out of bed and try to put on a happy face and good attitude so I don’t impact the group. By mid-day, feel the complete crash coming on. Go to bed dreading the next day.

Day 4 – Wake up depressed, overwhelmed and willing to do almost anything to get time alone. Serious homesickness sets in and I start mentally counting the hours until I am home.

Day 5, 6 and 7 – Complete self-preservation mode, trying to get through one hour at at time without dragging down the rest of the group. Going through the motions of what I am there to do, but not really ministering because I have nothing to give as I am completely depleted myself.

Thoughts?

Category: 3 Comments

What Is Church And Why Do We Go?


Recently we were on our way to church when in the course of playing with the stuffed animal Caroline had brought along the stuffed animal asked Caroline, “What is church?” (Making stuffed animals and dolls ask your child questions is a great, sneaky way to assess what she knows although that wasn’t my intent at the time.) Caroline didn’t answer. Apparently she didn’t know how to articulate what we were doing.

At first I was surprised because we do talk and pray about the church we attend. Obviously it hadn’t made an impression on her. So I had one of those parental moments of, “Why is it my child is five years old and can’t explain what church is? How have I been failing her?”

But to be honest, I found myself almost at a loss to explain it to her because everything I said or thought to say at that moment sounded trite and hollow to me.

“We go to church to worship God.”
Aren’t we trying to teach her that worshiping God happens all the time?

“We are going to be with other people who love Jesus.”
Well, yes, but it’s kinda sad we have to drive almost a half an hour to do this once a week and then we have no contact with the people again.

“The church is where we use our spiritual gifts for the body of Christ.”
Nice in theory, not really happening. And why do I have to go to a building to use my gifts?

I didn’t give her all these answers, but answering her questions about God and the church in recent months has left me feeling like my answers are not heartfelt. It isn’t that I don’t love God or want to serve Him. It isn’t that I don’t believe in Jesus. It is just that our church life is totally disconnected from our real life. How can I help Caroline understand that “church” is important when it doesn’t feel like it matters much in my own faith?

Whatever my faults, I strive to be honest. And when I tell Caroline that it is important to go to church I feel like I am being dishonest with her because it really isn’t how I feel. I don’t feel that being at church contributes in any significant way to my life or faith. Yes, I appreciate the music and I get something out of the sermon. But I appreciate music we play at home and get something out of Scripture being exposited online or in a book as well. Fellowship with other believers? Apparently some people find this, but I’m not finding it.

There is a total disconnect for me. For all three of us really. We aren’t known at church and our presence there (or lack of) really doesn’t make a difference to anyone. I’m not saying this in a sour grapes way, but just as reality. We missed five weeks in a row this fall due to being out of town, sickness, and avoidance and apparently no one noticed except one person who we saw elsewhere and mentioned that she hadn’t seen us around. How do I tell Caroline it is important to partake in church each week when we can miss five weeks and hardly be missed? How can I tell her church is where we participate in the family of God when there are no “family” relationships? What is the point of attending a book study or Bible study when you don’t really matter to anyone there the minute you walk out the door?

Again, I don’t mean this in a sour grapes way, but just the reality that I think so many Christians face. They have a deep hunger for real relationships and it’s just not there. People want to be in meaningful relationships with people that is more than ninety minutes in someone’s living room twice a month where everyone gets 4.6 minutes to talk about their faith and life before everyone races back to their own homes spread forty minutes apart in order to get ready to go to school and work the next day. Honestly I think I would have a better chance of developing a meaningful relationship with the Christian woman who owns the coffee shop in town if I took the time to chat with her more every time I go in there than I do someone in my own congregation. That’s reality.

The other thing I’ve come to realize is that most people in churches do not truly want to get to know you, understand who you are, and know your troubles. Don’t ask me how I know this, but I do. We’ve learned the lesson multiple times although I think the last experience was the one that finally drove home the point. Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three or more times and apparently I’m either really naive or stupid. I’ll settle for naive, but I won’t be that stupid ever again.

Karen recently wrote about some related topics in Where does a homeschooling family fit into the church? I related to a great deal of what she wrote and have asked myself many of the same questions. Although her focus was about homeschooling families, there were a few quotes that I thought applied to the broader church in general.  She wrote:

George Barna, who researches matters of faith and culture, says that, based on data from the past two decades, roughly two thirds of Christians today see the local church as their greatest source of spiritual growth but by the year 2025, half of the body of Christ will have rejected the traditional church and will be pursuing alternative ways to relate to God and pursue their faith. These are people who recognize that they are responsible for their own personal growth as believers and for ministry to others so they “stop going to church so they can be the Church.”

I left a comment over there and said:

I completely believe this and think it is already starting to pick up. I know quite a few people who love Christ, practice their faith, and take their spiritual growth seriously who have stopped attending church for various reasons. None of them want to be apart from the church, but church had become so problematic that they simply walked away.

While updating my site, I’ve been going through a lot of older posts. It has been interesting to read again some posts related to this topic such as Fragmented Lives, Community, and some other ones now I can’t find. The more things change, the more they stay the same.

In thinking about all this related to churches and doing some reading online, I found some thought-provoking quotes from an article by Wayne Jacobsen entitled “Why I Don’t Go To Church Anymore: Living in the Relational Church.” This is written by a man who is deeply involved in his faith, serving Jesus and living out being the church. In the article he answers a series of questions. It is well worth the read as I suspect it will resonate with a number of us. Here is a sampling.

Shouldn’t we be committed to a local fellowship?

That has been said so often today, that most of us assume it is in the Bible somewhere. I haven’t found it yet. Many of us have been led to believe that we can’t possibly survive without the ‘covering of the body’ and will either fall into error or backslide into sin. But doesn’t that happen inside our local congregations as well?

I know many people who live outside those structures and find not only an ever-deepening relationship with God, but also connections with other believers that run far deeper than they found in the institution. I haven’t lost any of my passion for Jesus or my affection for his church. If anything those have grown by leaps and bounds in recent years.

Scripture does encourage us to be devoted to one another not committed to an institution. Jesus indicated that whenever two or three people get together focused on him, they would experience the vitality of church life.

Is it helpful to regularly participate in a local expression of that reality? Of course. But we make a huge mistake when we assume that fellowship takes place just because we attend the same event together, even regularly, or because we belong to the same organization. Fellowship happens where people share the journey of knowing Jesus together. It consists of open, honest sharing, genuine concern about each other’s spiritual well being and encouragement for people to follow Jesus however he leads them.

and

But don’t our children need church activities?

I’d suggest that what they need most is to be integrated into God’s life through relational fellowship with other believers. 92% of children who grow up in Sunday schools with all the puppets and high-powered entertainment, leave ‘church’ when they leave their parents’ home? Instead of filling our children with ethics and rules we need to demonstrate how to live in God’s life together.

Even sociologists tell us that the #1 factor in determining whether a child will thrive in society is if they have deep, personal friendships with nonrelative adults. No Sunday school can fill that role. I know of one community in Australia who after 20 years of sharing God’s life together as families could say that they had not lost one child to the faith as they grew into adulthood. I know I cut across the grain here, but it is far more important that our children experience real fellowship among believers rather than the bells and whistles of a slick children’s program.

Jacobson answers several other questions and each one could be an entire discussion in and of itself.

There is no tidy conclusion to this post. I still don’t have satisfactory answers for Caroline. I can already tell by age five that she can sniff out dishonesty and insincerity a mile away. I won’t alienate my own child in the faith by giving her answers that are less than honest. I want her to have a vibrant faith of her own. How to help her develop it and where it has the best chance of happening are questions only God can answer as He leads us step by step in the days, weeks, months and years ahead.

Category:  | 15 Comments