I want to preface my post by pointing out that what I am writing below is NOT a criticism of Erika Kirk. I believe how she chooses to move forward is between her and God. I am writing this to point out the very real fork-in-the-road moment we are about to experience in the conservative Christian church.

Clarifications now made, it will be very interesting to see how the complementarians and patriarchalists interact with Erika Kirk in the months ahead. I see men who push hardcore versions of these views on social media and in the pulpit out there praising Erika for how strong she is. Talking about what an impact she is going to make. Cheering on her desire to see her husband’s work and legacy continue.

These are the same men who constantly harp on women knowing their place in the kingdom order, not leading, not speaking to mixed groups, and why it is imperative to put limits on women.

It will also be interesting to see if she declines any kind of leadership role (real or figuratively) with Turning Point USA. Based on the very few clips I’ve seen of her discussing her marriage, she seems to believe strongly in male headship. How will that play out now? Again, I believe that is between her and God. I do not believe as a widow she needs a man or group of men/elders to “cover” her now that her husband is gone. But many in the church believe and preach exactly that she does/will.

I told David this morning I suspect Erika Kirk will get the Elisabeth Elliot treatment. All kinds of exceptions will be made for her because of how her husband died.

Again, I believe she should be free to serve however God leads her. But I detest the hypocrisy, double-standards, and moving goalposts among complementarians, in particular. How will they manage to slide her into Wayne Grudem’s list of What Should Women Do In The Church?

I fully expect Joel Webbon of the Reformed Patriarchy camp to talk about how wonderful and strong Erika Kirk is, but that she needs to pass along the leadership and decision-making to men she trusts. Say whatever you want about Joel, but he’s generally consistent in his beliefs. He’ll tell her to focus on her children and let the men do the heavy lifting. Think I’m exaggerating? This is the same camp that is currently Silencing Women at Midweek Prayer Meetings in Reformed Patriarchy.

The complimentarians will bend over backwards to make exceptions for her. After all, John Piper is willing to learn from a woman as long as it’s in a book and he doesn’t have to look at her.

In the end, it’s all about Who Decides Which Women Are Granted Exceptions and Why Only for Teaching? I think this is one of the most glaring problems with complementarianism that no one ever discusses.

Why does this matter to me? It matters because there are tens and hundreds of thousands of gifted women in the church every week who are denied the opportunity to use their gifts because of these teachings. The same men who headline conferences while teaching how important it is to the church and culture that women know their place will be willing to grant an exception to Erika Kirk because of her exceptional situation. Whether she wants it or will take it remains to be seen. But I have zero doubts the opportunities will be there for her.

Again, consider how the double-standards impact our sisters in Christ in very real ways: Elisabeth Elliot Can’t Use a Pulpit to Preach, But She Can Share from the Music Stand.

I’m very curious to see how this plays out in the months and years ahead.

Photo credit