For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 6:23
Today is our first day of the homeschool year.
Our last homeschool year.
The last first day of homeschooling.
Where did the time go?
The saying is so true.
The days are long, but the years are short.
Those of you who have been here from the beginning (2005) have now seen the entire process play out. Unwanted childlessness to baby to homeschool senior.
I thought I would share some of Caroline’s senior pictures to mark the day (with her permission). Enjoy!
I mentioned last month that Caroline and I had applied to become part of the Daughters of the American Revolution. We heard back today that our applications were approved at the national level!
What is especially fun is we will be considered charter members of our chapter because we are joining in the first year. Our chapter formed last November so it worked out so beautifully.
My understanding is that DAR chapters can vary a bit in terms of focus. Some are more social and others are more service oriented. Ours is very focused on veterans, the military, and our immediate community. Doing service projects is a good fit for both of us, especially Caroline as she is a helper at heart.
So we’re excited. I’m looking forward to proving out the other Patriots I believe we are also descended from. I am guessing there are at least two or three more based on the surface level research I did last winter.
If you’ve ever been interested in the DAR, you can start like I did. I went to Family Search one evening and entered a name of an ancestor. Then I just started clicking back on each mother and father until I found something interesting. Family Search is free so it’s a good way to get started. (You do need to make a free account.)
The DAR also has a Genealogy page full of resources. If you are very interested, you can contact your local chapter and ask if the Registrar would be available/willing to help you. Chapters expect to help prospective members so definitely make the call.
Caroline and I were fortunate that I already had a lot of documents scanned and saved from before she was even born. David and I spent a bunch of time with my maternal grandmother’s youngest sister and some of my mom’s cousins a couple of times. We brought a scanner and scanned in all kinds of photos and documents. Because Caroline and I are connected to an already proven line, our process was fairly quick and easy. I was told another new member of our chapter needed three and a half years to trace and gather all her family’s information. So everyone’s experience is different.
Read sad follow-up post here: Daughters of the American Revolution (DAR) Allowing Men (Transgenders) to Become Members
As part of my Michigan Unit Study resources, I am sharing this true family remembrance as an example of a “living book” for homeschoolers and as a genealogical record for researchers. Johanna (Bruin) Baareman is my husband’s maternal grandmother. She was the last surviving of our grandparents and the only one to meet Caroline, our daughter. I hope this account brings Michigan history to life, showing what it was like for Dutch immigrants and their descendants in our state.
Below you will find photographs and the full text of family memories. Names are bolded for clarity and genealogical search. Section titles have been added by me to make it easier to read and for search purposes. Otherwise, the original text has not been edited or altered. Permission to publish this here was given by Johanna’s daughter, JoAnn.
As told to her great-nephew Ken Stebbins, on November 26, 1999
My great aunt Jo is the youngest sister of my maternal grandmother Hilda (Bruin) Postma. Jo was born on April 4, 1917. I was born on her birthday, 41 years later in 1958. We always had fun sharing this birthday bond. Much of the information in this paper was told to me by Aunt Jo during a quiet afternoon at the home of my Mother, Jayne Stebbins, with Jo’s husband, my great uncle Nate. They both seemed to enjoy sharing their memories of childhood and young adulthood. The centerpiece of our discussion was the picture albums that she and her mother Janna (Bos) Bruin had put together in the 1920s, 30s, and 40s.
The earliest memories were stories her mother Janna told of her childhood in the Netherlands. In general, Janna and her husband Willem (William) Bruin did not speak much about their life in the Netherlands before they came to America in 1902. Janna Bos was born in the Netherlands on June 16, 1881, and died in Hudsonville, Michigan, USA, on January 4, 1974, at the age of 92 years, 6 months and 19 days.
According to my grandmother Hilda, Janna at age 5 had to work at a large dairy farm, washing milk dishes. Jo recalled Janna saying that the dairies of this time sent the best milk, butter and cheese to England, and the lower quality food was kept for the Dutch.
Another example of the hardships of life in the Netherlands was taxation burdens by the Dutch royalty. Jo showed me a picture of a Dutch house that was probably Janna’s home. Each window, door, and chimney was counted as a taxable item, and any minor home improvements were penalized by more taxes. It was also a crime in the Netherlands for the common citizens to kill wild game in the fields for food. Pheasants and other animals were only allowed to be hunted by the royal family.
Other more pleasant memories were recalled based on a photograph that Janna’s grandson Jack Kelder has, of the church where Janna was baptized; and a photograph that Jo’s daughter Jo Ann has, of a windmill that Janna would walk past every day on her way to school.
As a teenager, Janna would sing in cafes along the frozen canals where ice skaters would pass by. The singing was passed on to her daughters Henrietta, Hilda, Harmina, and Johanna who sang as a quartet in churches and homes in Michigan when they were young.
Janna’s husband was Willem (William) Bruin, born in the Province of Groningen, the Netherlands, September 12, 1881, and died of tuberculosis in Grandville, Michigan, October 26, 1941, at the age of 60 years, 1 month and 14 days. As a young man he was in the 1st Infantry Regiment of the Dutch Army, joining in 1901. He was given a temporary discharge from the Army when he came to the United States. Needless to say, he never returned. The following is a literal translation of the original Dutch military discharge paper.
William and Janna were married on April 11, 1902, and left the Netherlands three days later to immigrate to the United States. It is hard to imagine the emotions Janna and William faced as they left their families and home, never to see most of them again.
Janna said the reason they came to America was to have a better life for their children than the life they knew in the Netherlands. They boarded a steamship for New York City, a rough 5-week ocean voyage. William’s brother Riek (Fred) Bruin and his wife Clausen (Clara) Bruin accompanied them. They were in the steerage part of the ship, the lower deck for the cheapest fares. Seasickness was with them the entire trip. What a relief it must have been to set foot on Ellis Island, New York Harbor and not be seasick anymore. Any joy must have been short-lived however.
They had in their possession a trunk containing their best valuables and family belongings that was stolen on their arrival to New York City. Any mementos that we now possess from their days in the Netherlands were probably in their pockets or smaller baggage.
Their destination after arriving in New York City was Chicago. They took a train with brother Fred and Clara. They purchased a banana on the train, a fruit they had never seen, but threw it away because William did not know it had to be peeled before eaten. They refused to try another new food, tomatoes, because they thought they were poisonous. The train stopped at Niagara Falls, and although they were encouraged to get out and see the site, William and Janna did not dare leave the train, because they could not speak English.
When they arrived in Chicago, they were planning on changing their last name to the American equivalent, Brown. Friends advised them that there already were too many Browns in Chicago, so they kept their original name Bruin.
Their first child, a daughter named Henrietta, was born in Chicago. She died at the age of 22 months of diphtheria. She is buried at the Roseland Park Church in Chicago. A tin plate with the words “Our Darling” inscribed, was from little Henrietta’s funeral. Ken Stebbins has this plate. The wooden rocking chair from Chicago that Janna would use to rock Henrietta to sleep now belongs to Jayne Stebbins.
After Henrietta’s death, three more children were born in Chicago. Their second daughter was also named Henrietta Bruin (born April 7, 1905; died November 26, 1986). Then John Bruin was born on August 26, 1907 (died January 6, 1991), and Hilda Mae Bruin was born on January 28, 1910 (died April 16, 1984).
William and Janna had a Great Dane dog while living in Chicago, named Nellie. The dog would lay across the floor by the front door of their house. Janna trusted the dog to guard the house and children while William worked. In 1910, William decided to move to Grand Rapids, Michigan. He made a deal with a man to purchase a boat ticket for the Great Dane, along with his family for passage up Lake Michigan. The man stole the Great Dane, and William’s money for the passage. After this loss, William said that would be the end of speaking only the Dutch language.
The family and all of their belongings made the boat trip up Lake Michigan to Grand Haven, and then up the Grand River all the way to Grand Rapids. They settled in East Grand Rapids for 12 years. Four more children, Dick Bruin (born May 9, 1911), Harmina Bruin (born August 15, 1912), Frederick William (Fritz) Bruin (born November 20, 1914, died May 13, 1991), and Johanna Bruin (born April 4, 1917) were born in East Grand Rapids. Another daughter was born after Johanna, but she only lived ½ hour. They first lived on the north side of Reeds Lake, where Dick and Harmina were born. Then they moved to the south side of Reeds Lake, (address: 2550 Lake Drive), where Fritz and Johanna were born.
William’s brother Fred and wife Clara, and their four sons (Derk Bruin, Hilbrand Bruin, Harm Bruin, Clarence Bruin) lived across the street on Lake Drive. William was a farmer in East Grand Rapids, and worked part time at a coal yard. They had two cows, Daisy and Maud, and a horse named Dolly. William made extra money peddling vegetables in Grand Rapids. Uncle Fred worked as a furniture maker.
East Grand Rapids was an affluent community. My Grandma Hilda told me they had the poorest house in East Grand Rapids. The children had the benefit of good schools.
Reed’s Lake was close to home, for lots of swimming during the summer. Hilda also remembered a special Christmas when she was 10 years old in 1920. That was the year the family got electricity in their house. They ordered a package of Christmas ornaments, parcel post from Sears in Chicago. The package had several angels, and cords of glass ornaments that still adorn some of our Christmas trees 80 years later. Before electricity, Grandma Hilda remembered Christmas trees with candles in their home. The candles were only lit for a few minutes on Christmas Eve, and buckets of sand or water were ready in case of the tree catching on fire.
In 1922, the Bruin family moved to Grandville, Michigan, on Prairie Street. William got a job working for the Pere Marquette railroad.
After moving to Grandville, Janna got a job working in the posh hotels of Petoskey and Harbor Springs, Michigan. Each summer she would leave the family and take the train north to find relief from asthma in the pollen-free air of northern Michigan. Since William worked for the railroad, Janna was able to use a rail pass for the trip north early in the summer. Then the family would drive up to get her in the fall, but only after the first hard frost had killed the ragweed and other pollens down in Grandville.
Her first three years of going north were spent working at a hotel in Bay View. The rest of the years she worked as a chambermaid at The Club House in Harbor Springs, an exclusive, gated hotel for the wealthy. Janna would clean their rooms, and get to know many of the wealthy ladies. She recalled that people just on the fringe of being rich were full of worry that their good fortune could end. It was only the very rich that seemed unconcerned about losing their wealth. No cars were allowed on the grounds of the hotel.
The Harbor Springs railroad station was a site of wondrous recoveries for allergy sufferers. Janna told of seeing asthma patients from Chicago arriving by train on hospital beds, unable to rise. By the next day, the same people were walking the streets, enjoying a day of shopping.
When Janna’s daughter, Johanna, finished school, she also worked at The Club House with her Mother for three years, doing kitchen work and washing dishes. She had the chance to ride on beautiful yachts sailing the Little Traverse Bay during those summer days. Janna’s daughters would take adventurous trips by car to visit their Ma during the summer. It would take all day to drive from Grandville to Harbor Springs on the dirt and mud roads. They took many coffee breaks along the way. Johanna recalls her older sisters having the role of substitute Mother during the long summers while her real Mom worked up north.
While living in Grandville, William contracted tuberculosis of the lungs. He eventually lost the ability to work, and spent some time at the Sunshine Sanitarium, a hospital for TB patients. My Grandma Hilda told me that the children were scared of getting tuberculosis themselves. A doctor told the Bruin girls to gain weight as a precaution against getting the disease.
Hilda shared with me her feelings about the value of good health. She and her siblings saw the tragedy of their Pa (William) losing his health to tuberculosis. She never did anything that would harm her health, like smoking or drinking alcohol, because of her appreciation of the blessings of health that God gave her. Hilda had a severe case of diphtheria when she was about 2 years old while living in Chicago. She was unable to speak for the next year and a half because her throat was so injured by the disease. The first word she was able to say after the long silence was ‘cat’. Her father William loved cats, and that love has passed down five generations to my girls Elizabeth and Amelia. Grandma Hilda also enjoyed telling about a teacher in East Grand Rapids, who said that coffee would stunt the growth of children. Hilda loved to go to neighbor ladies’ houses with her Ma, Janna, and drink coffee with them. She sat in that schoolroom with a silent smile on her face, knowing that she was the biggest child in the class.
The Bruin children got jobs when they finished school to help the family get by financially. My Grandma Hilda graduated from 8th grade in Grandville in 1924. Right after graduation, at the age of 14, she got a job at the Keeler Brass factory. Hilda had to lie about her age, and say that she was 16 to get the job. Since she was tall for her age, no one questioned her, and she worked there for 8 years. Her sister Henrietta worked at another factory nearby. Most of their wages went to their Ma and Pa.
My Grandfather, Edward Postma, was the foreman of the women’s department at Keeler Brass. He met Hilda as her boss at the factory, and they married in 1932, during the depths of the Great Depression. As was the custom for married women at that time, the Bruin girls were stay-at-home wives and moms. They and their brothers all lived in the Grand Rapids area after getting married. Visits to William and Janna’s house in Grandville were common.
They would spend most Sundays with William and Janna as William’s health declined. My mother, Jayne (Postma) Stebbins, was their first grandchild, born on May 15, 1933 in Grand Rapids on Denwood Avenue. She loved visiting her Grandpa and Grandma Bruin, and recalls with sadness that she was never allowed to kiss Grandpa William because of the tuberculosis. He died of the disease in 1941 at the age of 60. My Grandma Hilda missed him greatly for the rest of her life. She spoke only loving memories of both of her parents.
The legacy of an immigrant family from the Netherlands, with God and a loving, caring family at the center of their lives, is indeed a rich heritage for the generations to come.
This remembrance is the first part of my Family Histories Collection that I will be adding to. If you’d like more stories like this for your homeschool and other practical unit study ideas for Michigan, I hope you will subscribe.
Feel free to make a printable PDF copy of this story for your family’s homeschool binder or your personal genealogy files. Permission in NOT granted to copy, upload, and/or share this content anywhere else.
If you have a Michigan family story you’d like to share here, please contact me!
I’ve mentioned in recent posts that I’ve found ChatGPT very useful. I’m sure it’s raised a few eyebrows since I’m very open about my love/hate relationship with technology and social media. I don’t intend to write about AI often, but I thought as a parent it was important to show the darker side of working with services such as ChatGPT, Grok, Arya, etc. even with mundane topics such as homeschooling philosophies.
Love it or hate it, AI will be impacting us and our children. We can choose not to use it. We can use it selectively. But there is no escaping its influence at this point. Please read this post. Please. It’s important, especially if you haven’t spent much time using or looking into AI.
One of the decisions I made in recent months was to double-down on my writing about Relaxed Homeschooling. This is the philosophy we have followed and it has served our family well. I think it’s tragic more homeschooling families aren’t aware of it. (That’s a bunch of posts to come.) In this post, we’re looking at what happened when I started asking ChatGPT questions not only about Relaxed Homeschooling but also about me as a blogger who writes about Relaxed Homeschooling.
It’s a little challenging to copy and paste content from ChatGPT here. You’ll see breaks in the green quote boxes. I’m not cutting anything. That’s just the way it’s pasting in. I’m not taking the time to add in all the hyperlinks.
My questions are larger. The answers are in the green quote boxes. I’ll offer my observations and commentary after I share the entire exchange. If you are short on time, you can just skip to the end to see what I’m pointing out. But if you have the time, it’s worth reading the entire exchange and seeing if you can discern the issues.
Relaxed Homeschooling is an educational philosophy and approach that emphasizes flexibility, personalization, and a stress-free learning environment, especially in the context of homeschooling. It is sometimes described as a hybrid between unschooling (completely child-led learning) and more conventional, structured homeschooling. The aim is to provide children with both the freedom to explore their interests and enough guidance to support essential academic progress, without rigid schedules or overwhelming workloads.
Key Principles of Relaxed Homeschooling
Would you like a reading list or resources for getting started?
Absolutely! There is a vibrant community of homeschool bloggers who write from a relaxed homeschooling perspective—often blending in elements of unschooling, Charlotte Mason, or eclectic styles. Here are several notable bloggers (with brief descriptions) whose work embodies or openly discusses relaxed homeschooling:
1. Pam Barnhill
Would you like recommendations for social media accounts, podcasts, or specific blog posts?
Yes, Sallie Borrink is indeed a well-known advocate and writer on Relaxed Homeschooling!
Who is Sallie Borrink?Sallie Borrink is a homeschool mom, blogger, and curriculum creator who openly discusses the philosophy of relaxed homeschooling, particularly in the context of homeschooling gifted and/or differently-wired kids. Her website, SallieBorrink.com, is a popular destination for homeschoolers seeking a gentle, flexible approach.What Does She Offer?
Would you like more information about Sallie Borrink’s resources or similar bloggers?
Sallie Borrink clearly distinguishes relaxed homeschooling from unschooling on her blog and in her resources, addressing this question directly for readers who may be confused about the differences.
Sallie Borrink’s View: Relaxed Homeschooling vs. UnschoolingRelaxed Homeschooling:
Summary:Sallie Borrink’s relaxed homeschooling means parent-led, child-friendly, low-pressure learning with flexibility to use curriculum and routines as tools. Unschooling is entirely child-directed with no imposed requirements. Relaxed homeschoolers tend to incorporate more parental input and optional structure than unschoolers.
Would you like quotes from Sallie or links to more of her writing on this topic?
Sallie Borrink has shared her story of becoming a relaxed homeschooler in multiple blog posts, podcast interviews, and on her “About” and “Our Relaxed Homeschooling Approach” pages.
Here’s a summary of how and why she decided to embrace relaxed homeschooling:Sallie’s Journey to Relaxed Homeschooling1. Initial Expectations and Struggles
Would you like to read more from Sallie’s personal story or see resources she recommends for beginning a relaxed homeschool journey?
Thank you for your careful attention—you’re absolutely right that the links provided in the previous responses do not lead to live blog posts on Sallie Borrink’s site. That was an error, and I apologize for the confusion. The quotes were intended as faithful paraphrases and summaries based on the general themes and ideas Sallie Borrink has expressed in her online writing about relaxed homeschooling, but they were not direct verbatim quotes from specific URLs.
To clarify:
Again, apologies for the confusion.Thank you for pointing it out. For the most trustworthy answer, I recommend reading directly from Sallie’s blog at those real links for her authentic voice and story. If you have further questions about her philosophy or want help finding more direct links from her site, let me know!
Thank you for letting me know and for your patience. You are right: The links and quotations I provided previously do not exist as stated on Sallie Borrink’s website. I apologize for providing inaccurate information and any confusion that caused.
What Went WrongAs an AI, I strive to be helpful by summarizing publicly known positions and typical phrasing, but I do not have direct access to Sallie Borrink’s entire website content or the ability to retrieve live, up-to-the-minute web pages or exact quotations from content behind paywalls, removed posts, or unpublished archives. Sometimes, I construct URLs and paraphrased summaries based on patterns and prior knowledge, which can lead to errors—especially when specificity is requested and content may have changed or may not exist.What I Can Confirm
Would you like a summary—without any quotations or fictitious links—of the reasons and thought process many parents (including Sallie) report for moving to relaxed homeschooling?
Here are some main points to make. I could point out so many more problems but I’m attempting to keep this brief. Keep in mind if someone who truly didn’t know anything about Relaxed Homeschooling was asking these questions, she wouldn’t know how much of this information is inaccurate or completely made up.
The first answer is partially correct, but it leaves out important parts of the definition Mary Hood gave to Relaxed Homeschooling. It did name her as the originator of the philosophy, but did not correctly explain it. It is equating relaxed with less rigid. That’s not what it means.
The second answer provides a list of bloggers. To the best of my recollection, none of these women (other than Mary Hood, obviously) use the term Relaxed Homeschoolers. Note that the AI is suggesting that Relaxed Homeschooling is synonymous with “gentle homeschooling” and “peaceful homeschooling” which isn’t accurate. That’s kind of like saying the Charlotte Mason philosophy is synonymous with “nature study homeschooling” or something else. Nature study is part of the Charlotte Mason philosophy, but only a part. Being “gentle” and “peaceful” would fit into Relaxed Homeschooling, but that’s not what it is.
The third answer where I ask it specifically about myself is where things start to fall apart. It says that this is a direct quote from my website.
an approach focused on peace, understanding your child, and doing homeschooling in a way that works best for your unique family
That quote does not exist on my website.
It provides actual hyperlinks to three posts that do not exist on my website and have never existed on my website.
“What is Relaxed Homeschooling?”
“Our Relaxed Homeschooling Approach”
“How to Move to Relaxed Homeschooling”
It then offers up this. Note what I’ve bolded here. It will be relevant in a moment.
In posts such as “What is Relaxed Homeschooling?” and “How to Move to Relaxed Homeschooling”, Sallie writes things like:
“Relaxed homeschooling is NOT the same as unschooling although they share similarities such as interest-led learning and reducing stress. In relaxed homeschooling, the parent is still involved in choosing resources and guiding learning, but with lots of flexibility.”and
“Relaxed homeschooling means you can still use curriculum, schedules, or routines—just in a way that serves your family, not controls you. True unschooling, however, is fully child-directed and avoids outside learning requirements unless the child wants them.”
Neither of those quotes are on my website. The second one doesn’t even sound like my writing style.
But the person researching Relaxed Homeschooling thinks this is all true with real quotes from me.
The fifth answer has a lot of truth in it, but it’s just vague enough to not be wrong. It’s not wrong, but it’s not exactly accurate.
This, however, is completely wrong.
Standard approaches led to anxiety, power struggles, and frustration for both of them.
In particular, I am 99.9% certain I have never discussed my relationship with Caroline in terms of “power struggles” on my blog. Why? Because that is not how we have ever functioned. There are only two posts that even use those two words. I’ve discussed negotiating with my child and other things. But I have never viewed it through the lens of a power struggle.
It then gives a lenghty quote from a post called “Our Relaxed Homeschooling Approach” which does not exist on my website.
Think about that.
Someone could research Relaxed Homeschooling and be given a quote that I never said and start using it with my name attached to it.
It mentions a video and post that I don’t believe has ever existed, especially a video. I haven’t made videos about Relaxed Homeschooling. I even checked the URL in the Wayback Machine in case I had changed it at some point. Nope.
So in the sixth question I call out the ChatGPT. It replies, in part, with this.
The quotes were intended as faithful paraphrases and summaries based on the general themes and ideas Sallie Borrink has expressed in her online writing about relaxed homeschooling, but they were not direct verbatim quotes from specific URLs.
Someone reading this wouldn’t know to call out the ChatGPT. They would just run with the absolutely made up quotes that now have my name attached to them.
It also admits this.
The URLs were structured as hypothetical or typical examples (since Sallie does often use post URLs that match her titles), but they do not currently point to existing, published posts.
It admits this. Bold mine.
Sometimes, I construct URLs and paraphrased summaries based on patterns and prior knowledge, which can lead to errors—especially when specificity is requested and content may have changed or may not exist.
Whether you love or hate AI, you need to have a conversation with your children about it. Walk them through this post if it would be helpful. ChatGPT itself admitted this:
What Went Wrong
As an AI, I strive to be helpful by summarizing publicly known positions and typical phrasing, but I do not have direct access to Sallie Borrink’s entire website content or the ability to retrieve live, up-to-the-minute web pages or exact quotations from content behind paywalls, removed posts, or unpublished archives. Sometimes, I construct URLs and paraphrased summaries based on patterns and prior knowledge, which can lead to errors—especially when specificity is requested and content may have changed or may not exist.
Let me just highlight this one point.
Sometimes, I construct URLs and paraphrased summaries based on patterns and prior knowledge
Think about where this could all go in the months and years ahead.
How will we know what information to trust if one chat with me got this much wrong?
