I’m wrapping up yet another week of feeling very good and I’ve gotten so much done! I mentioned to David this morning that we have gotten right out of bed early every day for weeks now since I’ve been feeling better. I am definitely a person who likes to get the early jump on the day so if I’m slow getting out of bed I’m either sick or depressed/overwhelmed by life.

Shortly after I said that I found this wonderful quote on Mrs. Blythe’s blog:

A quote from a Victorian article ‘A Few Suggestions to Mothers’, 1884, p.26, Anon.:

“Inevitably the most cheerful, most contented, and pleasant people are those who are daily fully engaged. In most cases gloom, depression, sour temper, irritability, lowness of spirits, and all kinds of morbid humours, arise from want of proper occupation, and in some cases it is not so much delicacy of health which renders people miserable as the want of something definite to do which will engage the mind, and so contribute to physical health. Idleness is a fruitful source of unhappiness to young and old, and the misery is often caused by it. Children should be taught to find occupation for themselves.”

On the flip side was this quote from Lanier regarding being laid up with a badly sprained foot:

In everything we go through there’s an opportunity to learn something about ourselves. Some hidden strength or gifting; some deep reservoir of faith; some embarrassing deficiency. I’e discovered… I don’t like being helpless. I don’t like having to ask someone for every little thing. I don’t like having my plans upset, even temporarily. I like being capable and efficient and getting things done. I love rest and refreshment, too but I want them on my terms. And so, in this light and momentary affliction, I’ve been an impatient patient.

Ouch. (And I’m not talking about her ankle.) I’m talking about me because I am the exact same way. I had David read this and he said, “That sounds just like you.” It’s true. I love being capable, efficient and getting things done. I don’t mind needing to ask for help on occasion, but I do not like feeling dependent on others for an extended period of time.

However, God has seen fit to give me plenty of opportunities to practice. With the exception of maybe a month or so, I haven’t carried my own laundry basket up from the basement in a year and a half. Do you know how much of a pain it is to have to continually ask your husband to help you with the laundry? For months I could not clean my own bathtub, wash my own floors, or get my large mixer out of the cupboard. I think I have only vacuumed the stairs once in the past year and a half. I can imagine some ladies saying, “That sounds great to have all that help!” But not for someone who likes to take charge and get things done. Physical infirmities are a real drag for someone who likes to be capable, efficient and get things done!

I think I may be learning my lesson though. When I was laid up with my back I spent a lot of time fretting about what I wasn’t getting done and couldn’t do. When I was laid up with morning sickness, I was still frustrated at times, but also accepted that my body was telling me to be still and protect myself and the baby. Now I’m thinking about the baby coming in a few months. My attitude is – Hope for the best and prepare for the worst. I know I could have an easy delivery and an easy to care for baby. I could be feeling well in a week or two, have a baby that eats well and sleeps well, and things could be great. On the other hand, I could end up with a c-section with complications, a fussy baby who won’t eat right and it could be a L-O-N-G fall for both of us. There’s just no way to know what to expect and I have to wait for it to unfold.

The difference is that this time I’m trying to adjust my expectations beforehand. I’m preparing myself mentally for life that may consist of nothing but feed the baby, care for the baby, recover from the delivery, sleep, eat and get a shower. If nothing else gets done for weeks on end, it will be ok. I know I will get offers of help and I’ve learned from other moms to graciously accept every offer if at all possible. So I am going into this with the attitude that I will be spending almost every moment serving my baby and, in order to do so, I need to allow others to serve me. When other people offer to help, I need to allow them to enjoy the blessing of being a blessing to me rather than selfishly focus on my own frustrations. If I don’t respond graciously, I rob them of the joy of serving Christ by serving me.

So I’m working on it! I’m working on being grateful that I have a gracious, merciful husband who has the spiritual gift of helps rather than focusing on feeling like a continual leech on his time and energy. I’m focusing on looking forward to serving my little girl when she comes, showing her the love of Christ from the very first moment. And, yes, I am looking forward to allowing others to bless me and Peanut by caring for us during a season when we both will need it. Hopefully this time I will have learned my lesson well (even if it isn’t perfectly!) and the third time will be the charm.