This is a great article about perseverance, grit, and knowing when to cut your losses and quit. I also appreciated her insight that forcing a child to finish something isn’t necessarily teaching perseverance.
So much of parenting goes back time and again to listing to our kids.
How do you handle this in your home? How do you decide when to let your kids quit something? How do you teach perseverance?
Married to David (
18 19 years) and Mommy to Caroline ( 9 10 yo)
September 19, 2016
This is quite good. And a hard thing for even me to grasp. I find that when we are having tears and “Mommy I just don’t see that anyone is ever going to ask me what an interrogative pronoun is.” it might be time to find a grammar program that teaches in a different, easier way.
I thought it was going to be an easy decision to let our middle child stop piano lessons—but getting him to admit he wanted to stop them was hard. Maybe he didn’t really want to stop? The more I read about gifted/2e the more I think I see this conflict in him of super perfection mixed with easy frustration. He groaned with every practice at home; tears, anger, “this is too hard”. And then a month later banged out the song like it was nothing. He readily admits now to provoking and disobeying his teacher (she was a God send…w/ 20+ years of working w/ children and having several of her own w/ various emotional/processing disorders). With legos… completely different. Will spend hours making, remaking, and perfecting. Today it was Shelob (Lord of the Rings)- and really, it is quite the amazing spider!
I’m learning, that perseverance can be taught in chores (not exceedingly high standards- but the daily doing), revisiting a difficult concept later, and allowing for time to listen to my children tell me what is the sticking point- so that maybe we can change something but not drop “it” (whatever it is) all together. I stopped “penmanship” lessons because that was torture for both my son and I. Instead I told him to write one sentence a day about anything he wanted. He started a book and his printing is so much better. So perseverance there without him knowing it….?
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